Planned Parenthood

It was my first time at a Planned Parenthood clinic, let alone the one in downtown. I had to slide my way through a group of «pro-​life» protesters with their graphic billboards that nobody wants to see at 9am. When I put my hand on the door, a wrinkly old man said he could help me. I’m just a baby-​faced looking 18 year old that’s here for birth control. I ignore it and go inside.
I waited about an hour after my actual scheduled appointment to see anyone. It was a little annoying but I wasn’t in a hurry. They asked me about my health history and yadda yadda. I didn’t know anything about birth control and she was great at explaining it. She asked me for my pronouns and I took a pregnancy test. I saw the clinician, Kaitlyn (or Katherine? It began with a Ka-​), who was probably the coolest person I’ve met so far. She explained everything to me and answered all the questions I had. She stuck three needles in me but she made the experience fun and comfortable.
It was about 1pm when I left, the protesters were still there but I crossed Liberty Ave with my headphones blasting.
Basics: Planned Parenthood is a great place that’s LGBTQ friendly. They have gender neutral bathrooms and I felt safe as a person who identified within that group.

If zero stars was an option I would choose it in a heartbeat!
The good: Planned Parenthood is low cost and very helpful for women and men who want to take care of their sexual health. Katherine is a wonderful doctor who really explains a lot about your options. She is kind, attentive and interested in your well being.
The bad: The reason why I would give zero stars… the customer service at the front desk is abominable. They know they’re horrible and openly admit that they’re never on time! Every time I go in I get the sob story about their computers and yadayadayada. They’ve been having computer problems for over two years, it’s not just that one time! It’s at least a two to three hour wait each time. This particular visit (and my last!) the lady at the front desk said it doesn’t matter whether or not I make an appointment, they’re always behind and I’ll only get seen when they catch up. I don’t pay to come here to hang out all day and listen to their computer woes.
Never never go here!!!
I would gladly join in the protesters outside if only they were protesting the horrible customer service this place offers!

Anyone who thinks Planned Parenthood exists to pump out abortions should go to one! They offer affordable women’s health services and STI testing. You can either use your insurance or be charged on a sliding scale based on your income. The staff was very helpful in explaining everything.
The doctor I saw, Katherine, made me feel that I had her full attention. I didn’t feel rushed along like I have in so many other offices and she took the time to answer all of my questions.
If you have trouble budgeting for your healthcare, don’t put it off! Go somewhere where you can find people who care about providing affordable (and very necessary) health and family planning services.

Hey. Tough guy.
Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you.
You and that lady of yours are gettin’ serious.
If you care about her and yourself, you’ll get tested, and guys can get tested down here through their health insurance. I had just a minimal co-​pay.
Yes, today was a first for me, and it did feel a bit like being on «a very special episode» but was something that had to be done.
At 9AM, we strolled down to PP and were greeted by idiot pro-​lifers and their manipulative, well-​dressed masters. It was early for me so I didn’t bother with them, and I could have. However, they’re too deluded to get that they’re being used by The Right to vote against their own interests, and they like freakshow confrontations, so I walked away and ignored the grotesque abortion photos they paraded around with. These people must be closet fans of splatter flicks. Christ.
You’d think they’d spend more time protesting wars and the death penalty, y’know?
Curiously, the ladyfriend is medically unable to have children. What they didn’t know. Heh.
We waited 4 HOURS!!! Despite that, the unfortunate scene outside, and the strict security, we chatted up lots of people in a refreshingly frank way. What’s there to be ashamed of? The staff is the same way, not to mention very friendly. Nobody judges you. In fact, they were all glad to see a guy come in willingly to get tested. It’s called being responsible.
Kudos to the gal who took my blood. Her name was Farren. I swear to Ronnie Dio. She appreciated the little notes I belted out upon getting stuck with the needle. It’s how I buck up for the pinch.
At one point, I put the urine sample in the empty towel dispenser inside the wall instead of the box. I had ‘em chuckling over that and talking about me for sure.
They said to put it in the box on the wall.
«Ohhh, the other box…»
My morning was guest-​scripted by Larry David.
Anyway, go down and get tested. Maybe you’ll have fun with it like I did. Well, it was as much fun as it could have possibly been.
Before we walked out the door, I closed my eyes, clenched my fists and uttered the incantation «No pro-​lifers, no pro-​lifers, no pro-​lifers…»
When we got out of there around 2PM, the pro-​lifers were all gone, like magic. Swear to Ronnie Dio, again.
Thus ends my PSA for the day.