Shaw’s

Try the «DILUIGI» uncooked Meatballs. Freakin awesome. Shaws also has a great selection of «old meat». Which is meat just about to expire.
«Cause everybody loves a little … old meat»

This was the weirdest grocery experience of my life.
Everyone who works in this store was incredibly helpful. Perhaps too helpful. Everyone asked me if I needed help, while gleaming with joy at themselves and their jobs, at every turn.
And that was lovely.
You know what wasn’t lovely? The deli counter.
I was helped by a man who’s name tag — affixed to the back of his hat — said he was called «Eric.» «Eric» didn’t love his job. «Eric» wanted to put his customers through the deli slicer.
Approaching the counter, I was asked by «Eric» what I wanted. He didn’t want to help, really. He just wanted to know why I was there. «I’d like three-​fourths a pound of turkey,» I said.
«Which kind? We’ve got like thirty different kinds of turkey!»
Okay. «Eric» was exaggerating. There weren’t thirty kinds of turkey. There were about a dozen probably. At any case, it was worded pretty badly, but fair enough.
Put on the spot, I read off the first «turkey sign» I could see.
«We’re out of that!»
«Okay… how about Cajun.»
«How much did you want?» He asked.
«Three-​fourths a pound.»
«You mean three quarters???»
Really? You’re going to argue with me about the wording of measurements? This guy argues semantics more than Noam Chomsky.
«Yes. I guess I mean three quarters.»
«Anything else.» Note the period. He wasn’t really asking. He was declaring.
Pointing at a block of cheese in the window, I said, «could I have ¾ a pound of muenster cheese, please.»
«Jesus! Which kind.»
Alright. I was pointing at it. And there were only two kinds! The one I was pointing at was one of those kinds. And there really aren’t even two kinds of Muenster cheese. There are different brands. It’s not like there’s BBQ Muenster that I might have wanted. Just give me some cheese, man!
Despite «Eric» being a complete deli-​bag, the rest of the experience was fine. Additionally, I now have a fabulous deli-​guy story.