Golden Dragon Strip Club

Was standing in line when the bouncer literally started screaming at me for smoking too close to the building. Then he told me it was a $ 20 cover charge. I don’t like giving my money to people who yell at me? Have been in before, terrible atmosphere. Despite having to walk up stairs, it feels like you are in someone’s basement. The seating is awkward. Much better places to check out.

I have to say that the quality of the girls NEED to be Young and White and Skinny. There were some girls who were not young and I wonder why they were there! It is like one bad apple that ruins the bunch.
The bath room has no doors and is not clean.
Each lap dance is a bit too pricey for what you get. $ 15 is better for this place. I think $ 20 per dance here is too much considering that the girls here don’t «do much» during the dance

So I’ve been to quite a few strip clubs in my day and since I moved to PDX I’ve had the opportunity to check out some of the best… and then there’s Golden Dragon. I decided to check it out on a whim tonight, hoping for the best since all the other clubs were closed at 3am, so I’ll give GD credit for the hours, but that’s where it stops. Door guy was comically rude, but I expect that when dealing with the refuse from other clubs finding their way to GD after the bars/​clubs close, I don’t blame him for being fed up with the shit he has to fend off at the entrance. $ 10 cover seemed a bit steep with about only an hour of club time left on a booze free club. Girls were cute and friendly but extra aggressive as soon as I got the wristband. I know it’s the job and I am there to spend, but DAMN. High pressure sales rarely work with me. I knew that GD. had no liquor before I got there, but $ 3 for a .50¢ can of RC Cola or a bottle of water from a Costco pack? THAT’s where they get you. After grabbing a drink and watching some oddly depressing stage dances I went downstairs for a smoke when a random homeless person’s loose dog walked right up to the front door, took a squat and squirted diarrhea right in the center of the sidewalk. Took about 30 minutes of the bouncer griping in disbelief before they got someone to come downstairs with a bucket of water to splash it with this sending it wetly running all over the sidewalk. It was at this point that I left and never looked back. GNARLY DRAGON.

My friend from Japan was dying to try his first American strip club, so through a series of unfortunate events we ended up here. It was also my first time in the establishment.
Right away we were told they had no booze and every non alcoholic beverage offered was about 5 $. Lame.
The first dancer looked cute so my buddy wanted a lap dance, I pointed to the sign by the stage, clearly stating the price for 1 lap dance as 20 $, a somewhat standard price in my experience. I hand him 20 bucks, and tell him to go get one on me.
After a while, I notice him talking to the first dancer, there seemed to be a misunderstanding. Because English is not his first language, and he is new to the states, sometimes communication can be challenging. So I approached them, and I overhear her asking him for 100 dollars.
He looked confused, but handed over the money, when I asked him what was going on, the dancer interrupted and nervously chattered on about special package deals they offered such as a private room with a bed where you can, and I quote, «whip it out.» When I said that he was only looking for a lapdance, she said she had sold him a package deal of 3 for 100 dollars. Then we argued about the price, because the sign next to the stage clearly states much lower prices, to which she assured us that the «full nude» lapdances were 60 dollars each, though the sign next to the stage just said «laptdance — 20.00» and did not mention the price difference.
I quickly deduced that this dancer was hustling my friend because of the language difference, and she was very, VERY pushy, and intrusive as I tried to bridge the language barrier gap and explain to my friend what the dancer was trying to do. In the end we asked for the money back, and I literally had to reach over and grab it out of the dancer’s hand because she kept protesting that she wasn’t trying to swindle him and that we were just confused and that she could explain and excuse after excuse until we finally leave, and as I leave I hear her comment to her boss that I had just ‘cock-​blocked’ my friend.
One of the dancers was actually very nice, and much more attractive then the first girl, and if we hadn’t been treated so rudely, I might have gladly unloaded my wallet there instead of having to seek out a much nicer establishment close by, The Kit Kat Klub. Guess how much a lap dance cost over there? Just 20 bucks…

GARBAGE, EMPTY, LAME. Came here for the first time expecting a sub par experience. Then woe differences, it was jus terrible. After climbing huge staircase that came from a 70s mobster movie. We were greeted at the top by a $ 6 cover charge to compensate for them not serving alcohol. All three dancers were waiting at the top and immediately started bombarding us with questions, feigning interest in a desperate-​novice attempt at building rapport. Way to aggressive. Way too soon. Fake laughs. Terrible jokes. We paid and entered. Place was EMPTY. During our one stage dance we were being watched the entire time by their huge creepy bouncer. we were again overran with unwanted requests of private shows. We left after one dance. Discouraged and unimpressed… finding a nearby food cart to discuss our unceremonious time at.

This place is Awesome. 2 pool tables/​1 huge main stage with 2 girls at a time. I like how the females actually show everything instead of just walking around the club in lingerie the whole night. The girls are fun & the music is flames. Unfortunately, there is no alcohol due to 18+ but just drink before you go (probably save more money that way). There is a plethora of food carts outside if you get hungry & if you get bored it’s in the heart of downtown PDX.

This place is so lame. Came in here because I was too drunk to drive anywhere, we had an underage girl with us who couldn’t get in anywhere else and she also wanted to look into auditioning.
We started laughing when we came in because it was completely empty besides us 5 girls and one fat guy dancing by himself, and like 50 girls in thongs who all looked identical. They were all stick thin I.e. no «assets», which is fine if you like that (not trying to hate) but they also couldn’t dance. The girl on the pole looked so awkward, I laughed and felt bad for doing so.
Drunk as I was, the beer shits struck. I found the ladies room. full of strippers doing makeup and no door on the stall, just a red curtain. Fine, we waited for them to leave. I went in and the other girls guarded the door, but two strippers immediately pushed their way in. Obviously I can’t shit properly behind a curtain in a room of people, so I gave up and swung open the curtain only to see some girl 3 inches away bent over the sink doing her makeup, thong slipped down below the crack of her nonexistant ass. Not sexy!!!
Golden Dragon get a real bathroom!!! That shit is not cute

Plenty of strippers, open till at least 4am. That’s the good news.
There is a cover to get in, no alcohol or any good bar service. And I had two lap dances here and I honestly can not device which one of those two was the worst ever.
Some dancers are really nice and relaxed, but many many are too pushy.

Girls there are snooty except one of them. The bouncers are very rude and so are the staff. I sat there for ten minutes and this employee came up to me saying that I can’t just sit here and not tip the girls. I didn’t know! I was way in the back, observing which one I wanted to tip. He made me feel extremely embarrassed in front of my friends and in public. Never coming here again.

I had a really good time here, and I’m not a BIG strip club person. The girls were cute, fun and engaging. I also felt very safe.
Check it out!

The «food» — if you can call it that — seems to be the parts of the animals that no one else would pay for. The meat dishes look like chopped up aborted fetus, and taste as horrible as they look.
They do have soft-​serve ice cream, which doesn’t taste like anything. I recommend that you get the ice cream if you’ve unfortunately already paid for the buffet and tasted anything else. At least the flavorlessness of the ice cream will cleanse your palette.
The time I went there, there were people there with loaded trays, wolfing this crap down. Eww, why?! I guess if you’re desperate and need to binge, go to Golden Dragon.

We have an initiation for new guys at work, which primarily consists of eating once at the Golden Dragon.
My friend Josh summed this up best:
Someone once said the difference between loneliness and solitude is who you’re with and who made the choice. There is no restaurant in Portland more lonely than Golden Dragon and trust me, it has little to do with who made the choice or who you’re with. This place is the ninth level of hell. Well… maybe eighth. I also heard that hell is repetition and I definitely won’t be repeating the dinning experience at this slum joint. I guess if every bite tastes like cinnamon and toe jam with the texture of masticated penguin wing then the repetition piece is there. All of this is really a preamble for the real review though. Read on.
Remember the first time you saw a horror film by yourself? For me it was Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte on a 12 inch b and w screen in the kitchen at 7 AM on a Saturday. I was in first grade. Only two other experiences in this reviewer’s life come close to that. One is watching The Shining in a basement by myself age 14 with the flu and the second is eating the lunch buffet at Golden Dragon.
The smell upon entering is akin to a 1950’s nursing home diaper station. You are greeted by a tiny old Asian woman who asks you to pay first, apparently having learned that no one in their right mind would cough up the six bucks once having tasted the penguin. I don’t think she’s a real person though. It’s all very Matrixy. I swear the whole restaurant video flickered every few minutes. She could just be a projection as are the other two women running the place. One clears tables and fondles the flightless bird debris under the lamps and another washes the dishes. There is no cook. The clientele appears to be on recess from a nearby halfway house where they can get grub that reminds them of home or just prefer the seclusion of having 10 empty booths between them and the next patron so they can quietly plan where they’re going to move the body next.
Nothing has been updated since it opened, except for the faded drooping framed poster of two little white fluffy puppies now long gone. I imagine the tunnel to Jeffrey Dahmer’s nightmares is artfully hidden here or possibly a 10 point replenish health kit for a video game featuring the undead.
Mongo Beef was the first bit of food into AND out of my mouth. More was to land in the napkin graveyard including the Egg Foo Young, Teriyaki Chicken and Pot Sticker.
Revolting.
I can hardly believe the place hasn’t been shut down yet. I mean c’mon! They closed Phở Van over a health issue, but this place could mess with your eternal soul. It’s truly one of the saddest and scariest places I’ve ever been to.
Here’s the best part. The first time I went there was truly by accident. I just wandered in one day about a year ago. While force feeding myself I could clearly hear a woman moaning and groaning, louder and louder. My fellow halfway-​housers and me barely looked at each other and just stared at our napkins full of half chewed food. Upon walking outside I realized the place was above an adult lingerie strip show joint. Mongo beef indeed!

I’m giving them one star for the food (yep, out of five…) and one for trying. Simply put, you know when you go to a chinese buffet and you just eat for the sake of eating not because it’s extremely tasty? This is the Golden Dragon; you go when you’re dang hungry.
And when you’re done, several hours later (and into the night & next day) you still feel that chinese food festering in your belly.
They do sell «food by the pound», which I thought was kinda funny…