Jake’s Place

Dear Tracy,
Your Bloody Mary is fucking awful. Auto correct is the only reason it has capital letters. It doesn’t deserve them.
Did you just pour in a cup of black pepper and call it a day? Because it tastes like the backside of an overweight Pakistani rickshaw driver. I want to knock it off the bar in revolt (but I won’t out of respect to the monopolowa) I’ve tasted better garbage cans. The commercial playing in the background for toe fungal cream is a welcome distraction from this scum. Actually, scum is too good a word for this shit-​show of a bev.
This bar is usually pretty fun during evening hours. Bonnie and Katie are courteous, beautiful, and pour a mean drink. The owners are great and I enjoy seeing them walking about sellwood.
This is a commentary on Tracy’s inability to bartend, nothing else.

Good place for burgers! Service is very nice. Great fries over all a very nice eating experience. Prices are good.

Two of the bartenders here are the best I have found anywhere in Portland. Jakes Place is a nice blue collar establishment. The food selection is limited but fresh. The two pool tables are always busy but I didn’t mind the wait.

This is a cute simple bar. Has 2 pool tables, darts, tvs, pinball and video poker games. The service is friendly but not speedy cuz it’s laid back here I think. The pool tables aren’t fantastic, they have table roll and the balls could be in better shape. Also if you order a soda you don’t get free refills, I’ve never been told anywhere I’ve gone to play pool or just to go to the bar been charged for refills for the designated driver. I was blown away that they don’t even inform you of the charges and the bar tender kept trying to explain it to me like I was unintelligent and I just said whatever and paid my tab. They should work on the level of the music coming out of the jukebox it makes it a loud and uncomfortable place to try and have a conversation with the person next to you. It has potential I just don’t see myself going out of my way to spend a Friday night here.

We came in here today after the driving range to watch the US Open and were greeted by the nicest, most attentive bartender I’ve ever encountered. Ever.
While I agree that the patrons of this establishment are not the richest or hippest of what Sellwood has to offer, I have to say; it’s just a friggin divey sports bar, people. The customers are what appear to be hardworking, blue collar folks who just want to relax with a pint and listen to some Lynyrd Skynyrd. I saw no fights. I saw no rowdy behavior.

My favorite neighborhood bar. If you live nearby in Sellwood, you might already be aware that Jake’s is one of the most happening places in the area come night time. What keeps me coming back are good people and conversation, good tunes on the jukebox, cider on tap, cheap pool, smoking area outside, gettin lucky on video slots and those friendly barmaids, who greet me warnly and by name each time I stop in.

I just feel it is necessary to comment on the most recent review (Shayna L.). First, I have lived next door to and been in and out of this bar for the past five years. Therefore, I feel it very fair to say that I have done the proper legwork to give an accurate review and I am not only appalled but completely dumfounded by the attacking and classless review just left. I have never heard your name (Shayna) there so you’re not a regular. You’re also not an employee or former employee of that last five years. Which means that your review of Jake’s owners is more than likely personal and unfounded. Perhaps you were asked to leave for your behavior and you are harboring some ill will. Maybe you applied for a job and got turned down. Heck, maybe the jukebox ate your quarters. All I know for certain is that both Dave and Karen have always maintained a kind and inviting demeanor in addition to greeting and remembering patrons names when they see them. In five years I have never seen them, or any member of their family that may occasionally work there, be unfair, cross or inappropriate. As far as the bar as a whole, it is a fun neighborhood bar with lots of regulars. The drinks are inexpensive and hosts darts, pool, lottery, jukebox, trivia games and outside tables that you may also smoke at. Additionally, they host ample parties and celebrations for all sorts of occasions on their own dime. I suggest the aforementioned reviewer do more homework before saying such vile things.

Cheap drinks and quick service but «bleh» in every other way. The place always seems to attract large groups of insanely loud people outside.

Visited Jake’s a few weeks back looking for karaōke. Didn’t find that, but found cheap drinks and friendly bartenders. While I didn’t see any fights, contrary to many other reviews, I did see rude, unfriendly people who were very territorial about other people going to the bar near where they were playing pool.
Probably won’t go back.

I Love jakes place! Kelly and Bonnie are awesome bartenders! The two main reasons why I keep coming back! Thanks for such great customer service!

The best Bloody Mary’s!

Good place if you want to hang with a bunch of losers.

Can I have shots of drama please?
Oh, was it served before I can even finish my sentence and say hi to my friends.
Bar fights are pretty common. But I was hoping not on my first time.
cla$$y place.

sooo… I love dive bars, but I think more faux dive. or dive with still atmosphere. or more like not everyone in there may be a convicted felon or close to be one, not atmosphere like i might get shived. or shaken by a highly lubed regular.
also my big beef with «great neihborhood bars» should be decent prices or a stiff pour, or if you want me to be your new favorite customer, both. the tall was tall but not strong, it was ok on price but not exceptional, and with the added craziness seems there are other bars in the area which were much cooler.thankfully.

My review is going to echo much of Don B.‘s review. The vibe in this place was two-​steps-​away-​from-​mayhem. Our whole party had their collective hackles up, and we were happy to adjourn to the next stop on the crawl.
Not sure if this is typical here, or just a bad night. I suspect it’s not typical, because even the barmaid seemed stressed out by it.
Beer selection wasn’t half-​bad, but I had to wait for said barmaid to finish dressing down an unruly female patron with a handful of F-​bombs before I could order one.

Bartender, I’d like a «Jake’s-hattan» please!
What’s in a Jake’s-hattan, you ask? Well it’s one-​part brightly lit-​sports bar, one part drunken trashy crowd, two parts drama, one part seemingly-​intoxicated KJ, and one part tiny, cramped bathroom — shaken violently and poured over crack rocks… with a healthy dash of bitters.
Served up by a surprisingly nice bartender. (+1 star)
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I don’t know if it was an off night or what, but when I wandered in to this place it was pretty chaotic. Full of wasted people with lots of pent up energy and a very aggro vibe, it’s one of the only bars I’ve walked in to in Portland where I immediately put my guard up. Usually dive bars are inhabited by harmless drunks or ironic people, but last night it felt like it might as well have been full of drunken longshoremen itching for a brawl.
Check please!

Ok… so it got robbed. That doesn’t make it a 2 star. This place is a GREAT neighborhood bar! They have a full bar and a good beer selection and great service! The owner is so cool. Just stop by and have a beer. You can go wash your car across the street at the AstroJet Car wash that is fantastic too!

I was there when there was a robbery. It wasn’t a terrible bar but I hear it gets robbed every now and then. And that’s a pretty bad experience. If you’re not worried about that sort of thing or you live around the area then it’s probably a fine place to visit but just remember. it was robbed.