Union Jacks Club

Its kinky and edgy, decadent and slightly uncomfortable, seating wise. The girls are pretty, but sure I wouldn’t want to rub one the wrong way. some are pretty bad ass. I like the long narrow suffocation feeling to this joint. The bartender was a passionless douche. And the parking lot is a rubik’s cube.

It’s a pretty basic strip club. Went there a few days ago. Their bouncer gives off a Russian Mafia vibe, but if you don’t cause trouble, then he’s a pretty chill guy. It’s a small area, but the lighting and the décor are really good, almost classy. If I had more time and money, it’s definitely a place I’d like to hang around in for a while!
This could be a three or four star place, the reason I give it two is because of how it sells itself. They don’t say «lap dances», they say «A more personal experience» in their «discreet» private rooms. Their sign in the front says «No agents of any kind permitted without appointment». Other reviews allude to some «back room» where «seedier» stuff happens. But that’s all a bunch of nonsense. They’re a completely regular strip club that gives completely regular lap dances in completely regular lap dance areas, which are basically walk-​in closets with a curtain in front of them. Sometimes they aren’t always discreet though, halfway through my dance, a big black woman opened the curtain to make sure we weren’t doing anything we weren’t supposed to.
Bottom line: If you want to do something questionably legal, go somewhere else. But if you want boobs in your face and ass in your lap, Union Jacks will do just fine!

NO !!! Go somewhere else! As another said it, lame. One word: SHAKEDOWN! One «dancer» tag teamed our group and threatened to make a scene if we didn’t lay down what she thought she was worth, which wasn’t much. Dancer «Cody»…POS. Period. Visit the neighboring clubs, better bar service, much better and friendlier dancers that wont scam or threaten you.

OK I know I’m pushing it giving this place 5 stars but for whatever it’s worth I prefer a place like this for entertainment! The outside is kinda run down, inside is too, but the strippers are beautiful and so talented! I like the set up of two stages. You can easily talk to the girls between turns and get to know them they don’t pressure you to get a lap dance! They’re all very sentually open and attentive during the stage performance if you are up at the stage! I didn’t want to leave but we ran out of cash, wish we had brought more!

Entertaining. Cool smoking patio. Hard to get a drink on a busy night though. Girls are good on the pole here.

Hot ladies with loads of talent.
Tip and don’t expect super fast bar service on the weekends.
Heated smoking patio and great food.

Loved it had a great night there last night drink prices were good and the girls were great DJ was awesome

Quite possibly the most ass backwards situation I’ve ever encountered for a Canadian ID. Apparently given a recent inspector visit, foreign IDs (with A Nexus card) didn’t make the cut.

So far. my favorite place to have lovely and scantily clad women put their mouths and boobs on me! Went here with a fabulous lesbian couple for a birthday celebration. That already bodes well, right?
This place is crowded — it’s a Friday night. It is not wall-​to-​wall, you can still get around, but if you can find a seat (one of the big cushy ones on wheels), take it! There are two stages, one quite small, but the girls do some amazing shit on/​with/​around that pole — they get high up! The larger stage had a couple fun little shows where a guy was being teased and danced around by a whole gaggle of dancers.
I understand there is a back room — where the seedier shit happens. I didn’t go there… this time. We eventually moseyed on over to the big stage. My friends were admiring each other and I sat at the stage and plunked down my $ 1. This girl was just fabulous. She used her hair and face all over my top half and while I am describing it poorly (because I’m slightly flustered just thinking about it) it was awesome! I don’t like having pussy and titties in my face (or anyone’s junk, for that matter) unless they were invited — so she obviously was adept at reading her customers, or just had a style that I dug.
There may have been a cover. Drinks may have been not so cheap. But still and all — out of my (so far) 5 strip clubs — this one’s my favorite. It’s all about the ambiance… and the girls, of course!

Ladies were average, nothing jaw dropping by any means. The food was good,
Cover was cheap «tho I think that was a scam the doorman pulled on us». Drinks were fair priced… Overall it be decent to maybe swing by once every blue moon but not a place you wanna frequent regularly.

Wonderful club. The girls are very talented with acrobatics which is refreshing since lately most just crawl in circles. Laid back too :)

I have to write a review for Union Jack’s because it’s one of the best strip clubs on the West Coast. There is no strip club in SF that compares. Union Jack’s has a variety of shapes and sizes of women. They also have women with tattoos and unusual hair styles. They have both diversity of appearance and incredible dancing skill. There are extremely hot and talented women here.
I wish San Francisco had anything comparable.

My fiancé and I have been to many strip clubs in Los Angeles, and Union Jacks is far better than the clubs of silicon city. Half of the girls are extremely friendly and will shoot the breeze about their passions, artistic abilities, and travels. Some people don’t care about that stuff but I think it makes them more than a skeleton on a pole. However, every bushel has a few bad apples, and union jacks is no exception. A couple of the dancers will belittle you on stage and yell at you for not tipping enough (we’re tipping fairly well) and complain that they’re not having a good night. You should avoid these girls like a red headed stepchild and reach out to the girls who say three words before proposing a lap dance.
Pros
–The entrance fee is only $ 3
–Very friendly bouncer
-$ 4 beer
–Cocktails are 2 for $ 9
–Privacy in the lap dance rooms — no crazy bouncer staring you down while a hot female is shaking their tatas
–Getting a lap dance when you’re $ 3 short
Cons
-$ 4.50 ATM fee
–Some Hostile dancers
Overall great experience. We thought we were over strip clubs but this place proved us wrong.

Great entertainment and talented staff! Cool atmospher and vibe, good location.
But my gripe about the $ 4.50 ATM fee! It’s crap like this this that will make me think twice on returning. Thanks for taking advantage of your customers! Super obvious and rude. Plus a $ 5 cover. Other spots are more fair than this place.

Hahahaha, and wow. User Jeni D decided to go through all the bad reviews and send lovely message reading «Go suck a fat dick.
If you don’t wanna tip don’t come in, but also don’t shit talk my club.»
I mean, my review is a whole two years old but based on that message and the more recent and frequent bad reviews, NO stars. If I could. Lulz. Go to Acrop for steak and boobies.

This place just gets classier and classier and I haven’t even returned since my last review, which was over TWO years ago! One of their fine *chuckle* female strippers decided to register an account today and message me to tell me to go suck a d@!k.
I know there aren’t many new reviews, but most of the ones you see are correct — they are extremely pushy and will pressure for tips like crazy. This establishment and its strippers could learn a lesson or two from other strip clubs around town.
My tip, since this is Portland and we have a bazillion clubs around town… walk a few extra blocks and find another club.

I’d go back if a friend wanted to. I wouldn’t go alone.
The girls work for tips, but I kind of felt pressured to do so.
I honestly just came in for a look at what errybody was talking about and maybe a drink or two. I didn’t really come to get a lap dance, but figured I’d sit at a stage and throw down some cash for what I liked.
The gals were nice, and had nice bodies, but overall I felt kind of bad watching them get fully nude for sometimes no money at all.
The beers were good, and they have a patio with a swinging double seater. I liked that part of it :)

I wandered in here on a whim and it has come way down from a few years back.
I don’t like being pressured, but the bartender is supposed to be a little more customer-​aware. She was the only person whose attention I couldn’t get.
Overall, not horrible, but not exceptional.

Note to self and others: Union Jacks is not a flag shoppe. They DO have a very tall pole, though, so coupled with the establishment’s name, I can see why British expats could be confused.
Anyway, this was another club highly recommended to our bachelor party group during our Portland visit, and I must say, it definitely lived up to the billing. Union Jacks feels exactly like the kind of dive bar I’d frequent, except with a couple of stages worth of naked girls. If I lived in Portland, this probably WOULD be the bar I’d frequent. Jacks attracts a more diverse crowd — younger, with a higher female-​to-​male ratio — than most strip clubs, so it feels more casual, more like a place to just hang out and drink while being entertained by their talented dancers.
Speaking of which, the girls working here really do earn the designation of «dancers» as opposed to just «strippers.» Whereas most clubs have girls that seemingly just go through the motions, the girls at Union Jacks embody more of a punk/​rock n’ roll aesthetic and attitude: equal parts spunky, feisty, and sexy. And pretty damn handy on the pole. Ok, maybe handy is a loaded word… let’s say talented instead. Yes, these gals will climb, spin around, contort on the pole and generally put on an acrobatic show, all while getting full on nekkid. I guess when you’re starting at half-​naked, there’s not much more to go, but still. One of them even stripped while performing a hula hoop routine. (Watch out if you’re in the front row, you might get whacked in the head if you lean in too close.)
If you’re familiar with Cirque Berzerk from LA (think: a goth cousin to Cirque du Soleil) then imagine that, but, without clothes. Those Chinese acrobats at the county fair are going to seem pretty mundane by comparison, no matter how many plates (or people) they stack on their heads.

Uh oh, it’s turning into one of those nights. Hilary B is on fire, and the horns are coming out. My wallet, like a trick knee with a rainstorm on the horizon, is beginning to ache. I can sense the inevitable. We’re headed to the nudie bars…
Somehow I feel like I’ve been here before…
But I digress.
Portland is like no other when it comes to the nudie bars. Oregon has some of the most awesome free-​speech laws in the nation, and as a result, the adult entertainment in this state (and especially in Portland) is better than even most places in Vegas. The bars are full-​alcohol, the girls get totally naked, and the talent (and I mean honest-​to-​goodness pole dancing talent) abounds. The girls are sassy and fun, and since I only really ever go to these places with my wife (or possibly with a bunch of Unilocalers), I never get treated like «just another sleazy dude patron.»
Union Jacks is no exception to the rule that Portland has great strip clubs. is close enough in to downtown and dead-​center in the East-​Burnside barmuda triangle, so it attracts a fairly straight-​up amateur crowd, for the most part. Not your standard creepy-​old-​man clientele, but a young crowd, often in groups comprised of both guys and girls. The girls on stage are more talented (meaning pole-​dancing, core-​strength style talent) than your average dancer (on par with Sassy’s). The two-​story tall pole on the main stage allows for some fun tricks. Dual racks provide for a diversity in entertainment.
The place itself is on the smaller side. The mirrored walls make it look bigger, but besides a few booths, a couple of tables, the racks, and the private dance and VIP areas, there’s not much room to move up in the joint. Ordering a drink can be fairly trying on a busy night. The décor is black vinyl booths, mirrors and rope lights. It’s cleaner than your average joint, and now that it’s non-​smoking, you can actually see across the room.
The main downside is the $ 5 cover. I can see why they charge it, though. Despite the cover, the place was SLAMMED at prime time last time I was in. I guess the rule is that if you can get away with it, why not? But when I’m paying strip-​club prices and blowing a wad full of bills, I don’t feel like the $ 5 cover is necessary.
Not a bad spot, and it would definitely be on my standard circuit were it not for the $ 5 cover. That’s just not my style.
Back to my digression:
So of course it ended up being another one of those nights. The role reversal: I sit at the bar catching up with an old friend who is in from out of town over some over-​priced drinks, while the ladies head over to the rack with a stack of our $ 1’s to cheer on the talented ladies on stage. I spent way too much money, but spent pretty much the whole time not staring at naked ladies. Hmmm…
At least Hilary paid the cover this time.