Sams’s Food Store

This place is funnier than most things on TV. Some day I’m gonna take a day off work just to hang out here and watch all the Bön Vivants who frequent this store. «Hang out at a convenience store all day, John?» Yes, why not? As far as I can tell tons of people do this already– most every day! Whenever I stop in this place– for a vitamin water, a stamp, a delicious Yodel, or a scratch ticket– there’s always a few guys an’ gals just «hanging out». They hover around the Keno machine, or the photocopier (that’s a real hot spot at the public library, too… …for some reason) and they just while away the afternoon talking to [or at?] the nice young lady behind the counter. Sometimes they buy things; cigarettes, cigarillos, cigars, ecigs, scratch tickets (by the foot???) and those little butane lighters in the shape of a hand-​grenade. I envy them; these Kings among men, for I too wish to someday have all the time in the world, and the resources, to just haunt a convenience store all day– buying everything, accomplishing nothing.