Constantine’s Garden Center

Ever walk into a place you’ve never been before, and the guy working there says, «Hey! How are YOU today? Isn’t this weather GREAT?» After picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and sputtering, «Uh, Wha?» you realize: oh, wait. I recognize this… I haven’t seen it in a long, LONG time, but I think… I think… This is customer service!
Constantine’s is much more than a nursery, not just a garden center, not merely a place to snag mulch, to pull manure, to procure some fine, un-​cut, never been stepped-​on, primo Norway Spruce. Nuh-​uh. THIS, my friends, is the very bedrock of area commerce. The real deal, knows-what’s-what place to go. I wince when I think of some poor sap walking into Lowe’s or Home Despot, asking, «I have kinda sandy soil… y’think this will grow for me?» The look on the poor salesperson’s face will tell the tale: they have absolutely NO idea. They won’t come out and TELL you they have no idea, they’ll just mumble something about the last fifty poor bastids that wandered in and bought the same lousy plants and had them die a month later. Criminal, y’askme.
Now, at Constantine’s? They’ll ask you which ROAD you live on. Why? Because they already know, from a half-​century of working, working, working, exactly what you need. Trust them. Buy from them. Hell, go ahead and WORSHIP them.
I just wish that they would come over and water for me. Or at least push the hammock. Do I ask too much?