Ted’s Coney Island

I wrote this review as a service to humanity. Please do yourself a favor and never order a coney dog from Ted’s. Don’t fall for the various daily specials in which the coney’s are offered at discount prices. It’s a ploy to sell you what are quite possibly the WORST coney dogs in the history of food. Seriously. Where does one start?
El-​cheapo ingredients come to mind first. The hot dogs are the really cheap kind, a helpless pale colored bologna with no snap or chew to the bite and an overall shape formed in a press-​mold. It’s the soft bargain hot dogs your grandmother said to never eat for fear of passing genetic malformations to future generations. The barely grilled hot dog had luke-​warm humidified sweat beads dripping down it’s sides.
The chili was a strange watered-​down orange-​brown color sprayed over the hot dog like diarrhea after Fido ate the Halloween pumpkin. Genetic testing should be completed to locate the existence of meat in the chili. Even the onions were bad. Old and translucent cut in various shapes and sizes ranging from a tiny chip to a hockey players front tooth. The mustard was the typical table-​side stuff touched by all the infected patrons who sat at the table before you.
The buns? Ever go shopping for hot dog buns when planning a summer BBQ for B-​list guests? Yes? Then the routine is well known, skip the Pepperidge Farm stuff and go for the really cheap ones on the bottom shelf. Ted’s does the same thing when choosing a bun except it’s one shelf lower. It’s the mishapen ones that look like little coffins fused together by a cheap flour joint with an ingredient list straight from a Sarnia oil refinery. These were the cheapest bun in the history of buns.
The taste? After one bite, a strange chemical brew came to fruition in my mouth reminiscent of Hot Tamale candy and Old Spice cologne stewed in the armpit of a New York hobo. My God, this is bad. Really bad. Never again. I felt like barking at the table. You could sell these things at 10 cents apiece and I would never order them again. Even if a holocaust struck. Eating one of these coney’s took 6 months off my life span.
STAFF/​ETC? Lot’s of down-​home muffin top waitresses looking to pay the rent and unshaved cooks with multiple strip-​mall tattoos over their deliberately exposed limbs added to the overall ambience. The french fries and patty melt weren’t bad, the greek salad had wilted lettuce straight from the bag, the pop was flat. I did like the bright décor, the roomy booths and multiple hang gliding TV’s, hence the one star overall rating. Welcome to Zombie Coney. Keep driving.

Low quality food even for a Coney Island. Very friendly staff. Quick and efficient. Chicken Delight was ok. Onion rings were good. Coleslaw was sent back. Bacon hamburger was low on flavor. Lemonade was barely drinkable. Nothing to recommend and no thoughts of returning. I only selected that they are not good for groups because I wouldn’t take my family there but they are set up to handle groups.

Food tastes not so good… nice wait staff but they have little to work with… They have there own chili that tastes like it has something foul in it… The place could be cleaner as well.

My boyfriend and I dined in last night for a Friday Night Date Night. We wanted to go to a restaurant in Chesterfield but we knew we would have to wait close to an hour at any restaurant so we choose Teds.
Teds was busy but not crowded and no wait. We were seated immediately and got our drinks ordered.
I ordered the chicken delight with chili and cheese fries, while my boyfriend ordered a patty melt with cole slaw.
Service was very fast and we got hot food fast. Awesome!
The chili isn’t anything spectacular or anything to write home about but it will do.
The chicken delight is a pita with chicken tenders, Swiss and American cheese and mayo. Yummy! Probably the mayo is the best part.
My boyfriend and I like to enjoy ourselves and we are pretty slow eaters but our waitress was talking to another co workers and said to the other waitress ‘I’m just waiting for that table (pointing to my table) to leave so I can go home’ At that point we felt really rushed. She already dropped off our bill when our meals came up so there was no chance of even ordering dessert. We are tipping you, no need to make smart ass comments to other employees. Not professional at all.
We were having a great meal until that moment but it makes me second guess how employees are trained.

I love coney dogs BUT their chili is the grossest chili I’ve ever had. Maybe that why it’s cheap. Cheap quality in food and the worst service possible. Will not go back.

Pretty good place. Nice and clean. Food comes quick and is good. Lemon rice soup is real good.

Teds has decent food at a cheap price. It’s not gourmet, but the service is great and you always get what you need there. It’s our weekly go-​to for family breakfasts.

My family and I love this place!
I really enjoy the chicken delight with the chicken lemon rice soup! They also make the best Arnold palmers when ever I come here!
Great for families.
The food comes to your table in a timely manner, with a nice presentation.
The staff is helpful and friendly.
I definitely recommend you coming here and trying their food!

You can beat this place if your looking for a good meal that isn’t going to leave you broke! Once I got sick from eating here… only because I ate to much! The only thing I would suggest not getting is the chili. It’s obviously from a can.

By far one of the best coney islands i have ever been to, my favorite order is the orange soda with the soup of the day (soups I recommend are clam chowder, cream of broccoli, and chicken lemon rice)

A great restaurant!
I just had another stellar breakfast with my buddy. It’s almost like you sit down, hot coffee is delivered, you order breakfast and a couple minutes later the meals arrive. I mean, they are quick when breakfast is served.
Today we ordered omelets and they were excellent Table service is always top notch!
Of course, being located at the crossroads in Richmond, you get to see a lot of traffic go by, and every once in a while, there are a few classic cars parked in their parking lot.

Always a good quick friendly service! Very clean and staff is sweet! I like everything u have ordered! The sweet chili chicken wrap was amazing!

Chili from a can? That’s how bad it tasted. Finally was asked if we wanted a refill on our drinks when we were handed our check.

Have eaten breakfast here on several occasions and had good food and exceptional service. The staff is very well trained and extremely friendly.

Basic Detroit style coney. One of the better places in the area to bring kids.