Western New York Flash

I think female athletes should be paid comparably to the men and their matches should be advertised and televised similarly, as with Tennis. Unfortunately capitalism discriminates only based on «marketability», and the concept can be manipulated by dinosaurs and sexists and often is. Until the whole of sport and culture gets behind women’s sport, there will be problems. It’s a small tragedy, really. And this first paragraph was not a joke. But on with the jokes.
This is not a good team to take kids to go and see, unless your family are nudists, because this WNY team tend to, well… «Flash». A lot. But then they are fantastic athletic specimens (or speciwomens as the case may be) of humanity, so you really shouldn’t complain.
I jest, there is no skin on offer at these matches except the skin of the enemies after the WNY Flash annihilate them. Sponsored by Sahlen’s hot dogs of Buffalo, this team has been absolutely dominent in women’s soccer in the USA. They have a lovely red and yellow badge that looks a lot like the Sahlen’s hot dog badge, and they practice at Sahlen’s Sports Park (where I play amateur level soccer sometimes), which is a fantastic facility in Elma just near Buffalo.
Alex Sahlen, the daughter of the owner, is a defender on the team and is also the President. They’ve had some of the top talent in world football such as Marta of Brazil — the greatest female player ever, no less — and (swoon) Alex Morgan. Gemma Davison of England, Kelly Parker, American tattooed superstar Sydney LeRoux, Christine Sinclair, Carli Harris, and one of the greatest players ever — Abby Wambach.
Unlike the men’s team (Rhinos), the women’s team actually plays in the very top tier of football, wherehey are a true dynasty of women’s football. They won the league in 2010, 2011, 2012, and 2013, although they lost the play off final in 2013 but won the regular season supporters’ shield. They are seemingly virtually unstoppable and yet much of Western NY does not have them on their radar.
OK, this year they’re not doing so well, and whoever decided to continue games during the Women’s World Cup… never mind.
If they did indeed «Flash» the crowd then they would have to be renamed the «WNY Flesh», and if they dined on Garbage Plates, then they’d have to keep a lot of portapotties next to the field and rename themselves «WNY Flush.» And for the English players on the roster, I recommend some «WNY Floss.» And when it gets cold in winter, perhaps they can wear a «WNY Fleece.»
Please go out and watch them play — one of the most dominant sports teams in the country right now and we have them right here in Western NY with very cheap tickets and some superstars of the women’s game on the team.