Club La Zeez

I love La Zeez! very fun with a super sweetie of a host.

I can’t believe that this freaking poser Unilocaler is actually the first to review something in San Francisco! I mean, you guys have a freaking new review every three minutes. Literally. Not like the Dallas/​Fort Worth area where reviews come every 12 hours or so. Yeah I get my Unilocal validation in D/​FW all the time. My short list of reviews stays on the home screen for like a day. Clearly, I am now a winner.
So I was in San Francisco during my spring break to spend time with Kirk B. He was out of town my first weekend there so I caught up with some other friends. Trying to find something to do, I suggested Kan Zaman to smoke some nargileh since I’m always trying to convert people to my vice. That was packed and first come first served so we headed to Trax in the Haight. It was kind of dead. One of my friends grabbed some sort of nite life newspaper and found the inaugural Queer Middle Eastern party that third Saturday in March at Club Eight. Whoa. What? They’re having something gay on a Saturday nite that ISN’T White or Asian? Dude we were so there. I was an Arabic minor in college and lived in Lebanon for six months so this was totally gonna be up my alley. Yeah. And I was right.
I had never been to Club Eight before but my local friends got there in no time. Now I’m not gonna go over the layout of the Club since I’m sure it’s well known. Inside, the staff did a good job of changing the décor to give the place a definite Moroccan feel. There were rugs, pillows, Middle Eastern drums called tablahs, and variously colored drapery along the ceiling. There was a dude dressed up in some sort of faux North African costume passing out grape leaves and other Arab finger foods but I wasn’t all that hungry so I didn’t get any. He was Arab so it felt legitimate. The music was good too which was a mix of Persian, Arabic, South Asian, and Latin tunes. They were a little lite on the Latin though. I wish they had played more. The crowd was mostly North African and Middle Eastern with few South Asians, a few White people with Turkish bath fetishes, and probably two other posers like me. I certainly don’t look Arab despite drops of North African blood but I can speak it with a decent accent.
I had a blast. I made some friends, was photographed for some sort of gay clubbing glossy, and asked to be in a porno (I said no, obviously). Man I love this city. Now while I’ve never learned how to actually dance Arabic style, I can move my hips. My White friends were impressed but I’m sure the Arabs, Persians, and Turks in the crowd were like «What the hell is he doing?» but no one said a thing. And almost everyone was dancing. Man I hate those «stand and model» establishments. Either move your body or get the hell out of my way. I could give a shit what you’re wearing. Every one there was pretty chill and I caught no attitude that is so prevalent here in Dallas or in other places in the Castro. However, I suppose if you don’t speak any of the languages of the nite, the music might kind of sound repetitive. But then again, doesn’t trance and all that other gay crap all sound the same?
I would highly recommend anyone who is North African, Middle Eastern or South Asian to go. You’ll have a great time. Or if you like the style and beat of that type of music regardless of ethnicity. I mean come on. It is certainly a welcome change from all the boring Twinks tripping out on Tina in the Castro. Beautiful tan guys with hazel eyes galore (my type much?) plus they have an awesome but short belly dance show that has the drool inducing Mas dancing in the Eastern style. He is one good looking Arab.
You can find Club La Zeez every third Saturday of the month at Eight. And did I mention that lazeez is Arabic for «delicious»? Cover is $ 15 ($ 12 before 10:30) which goes to help fund projects done by the Queer Middle Eastern/​North African community in the Bay Area. I’ll be there every third Saturday so say hello! And I’m definitely taking Kirk B. He missed a good party.