Muddy Waters Coffee House

I only worked a half day but I still feel jet-​lagged, twitchy and leaden after the grueling commute under the Bay, and I’m only part of the way home.
Naturally, I buy another coffee.
The Café Artist is, as far as I can tell, having a really good day. He rushes the line — wiry hair flying about — and demands a muffin. The barista chides him: «I’m trying to talk to someone.» He’s used to The Café Artist’s antics. This unpretentious barista seemed genuinely concerned for me when he asked me how I was doing. I was about to answer ‘good’ or even ‘great’ when The Café Artist interrupted us. I wasn’t about to complain of the middle class neck pain plaguing me, or my desire to jump off a building — that would be ridiculous. Complaining of white collar cognitive dissonance and the insidious pains of sitting at a desk when the barista can barely afford to keep himself in shelter with what they must pay him. But he’s alive! And possessed of the kind of nutty energy one acquires by daily encounters with chaotic people. This is the place to sit and watch the upper middle class hordes stepping around street people as they devour the Mission. The Café Artist must think so, or he wouldn’t sit facing it.
He tells me he’s a documentary filmmaker. He’s from Columbia. «The human rights violations in Columbia, that’s what I film.» Does he do commercial stuff? Sure he does. (He’s a little vague about this.) We get to talking about Gabriel García Márquez, whom the Café Artist interviewed fifteen years ago. He recounts how Márquez struggled making the transition from Aracataca to Bogotá, how he had to pawn his typewriter, his experience of the coup — nothing I don’t already know from the autobiography.
«I’m interested in the creative process,» The Café Artist tells me. Most people who talk of the creative process are applying for a grant or just prefer talking to the real thing. Skepticism piqued, I let it pass. By the time we get to Borges we’re back on the same page, holding forth with help from enthusiastic hand gestures and big smiles, just like the café artists depicted in Márquez’ autobiography. I tell him I’ve only read the master’s minor works — namely, Memory of My Melancholy Whores — as is my habit. Has he read Enrique Vila Matas? Only a little. Our camaraderie shaken, I plod on anyway: «This crop of Spanish language writers who live in books, who write about writing, who create little Macondos of intertextuality: what’s up with that?» «I know what you’re getting at,» he assures me. Neither of us invoke Cervantes at this crucial impasse.
Just when it seems I’ve lost him he returns to Borges, professing his passion for the great ambassador of Hispano-​English letters in broken English careening into mellifluous Spanish. I feel like I’m hallucinating, like I can understand everything he’s saying despite not speaking Spanish because I know so well what he speaks of, like I’m really in a café in Bogotá in the ‘50s, on the brink of anarchy or bloodless revolution. Holy shit, this guy’s enthusiastic! And he’s not even crazy. (Only crazy people talk to me in San Francisco.) «You must write every day!» he implores me. I know, I know, but it’s only Wednesday and I’m already burnt out!
A shoeless man weaves through traffic outside. I ask The Café Artist for the time. I’m supposed to be meeting my wife for a film. This is a good stopping point. We’ve spilled our passions, now it’s back to pleasantries. The Café Artist has shit to do. «I’m meeting someone, too,» he says, «some other guy.» You can’t blame him for thinking people (aside from French and Brazilian tourists) actually sit and converse here — he’s only lived in the city for four months.
All right, Mr. Café Artist. I’ll be seeing you.

Stopped in to go to the bathroom and ended up buying a drink. The white mocha is delicious! Quiet relaxing atmosphere.

Very rude staff. Asked to use the restroom and of course I was going to buy something but she was very rude about it. I go to use the restroom and it was disgusting they didn’t even have toilet paper. I don’t think someone should have to purchase something to use that bathroom. Then I go to buy a tea and I’ve never been here so I asked what their selection was and someone was behind me so I said he could go first and she was like I already got his order what do you want and proceeded to laugh. I will NEVER come back to this place. VERY RUDE!!!

NOTE: Great for locals and people who are chill and unpretentious. NOT good for Tech-​Bros, Marina types, etc.
The «homeless» that some of these customers are complaining about are what we in the Mission call «locals» or people who has lived in this neighbourhood far longer than any of these entitled, gentrifying twats.
Unlike some other coffee shops… they are welcomed and treated with respect even if they don’t look young and hip.
I’ve been coming here regularly for years and know most of the staff. Nicest people you’ll ever meet that treat you like family if you treat them with respect (especially the tattooed guy that a few customers complained about). Don’t like it? Take BART a few stops to downtown… there’s a few Starbucks and Peet’s to make you feel at home with their uniforms to remind them that they are subservient to you. *gets off soapbox*
TL;DR
If you’re cool with them… they’ll be cool with you.
Coffee is good. Free Wi-​Fi. Lots of outlets. Open late.

The guy w/​the lame tattoos and in the plaid shirt from earlier pictures is a giant deuche
never going there again
gonna look for managers # and ask for my money back

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such rude and unprofessional behavior from a server. Also, muddy waters is right – that bathroom is disgusting.

Terrible place. The barista was rude, aggressive, and borderline psychotic. The bathroom was absolutely disgusting. And the coffee was foul. Avoid at all costs.

Should have looked at the reviews first. I just needed a caffeine fix before leaving the city. The Barista looked and was super cranky and unfriendly to everyone. He definitely did not look happy to be working. Don’t go here

This joint should be in downtown SF, just the right vibe:
Bums outside. Bums inside. Therefore — smell.
Place needs renovation (needed it 10 years ago).
By nyc standarts — this place should be rated «D» (look at the counter tops).
Rude tanned skin barista.
Icing on the top — Mediocre coffee, for cash only.
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Save your day by not entering this s** whole.

Going to Muddy Waters was a terrible experience.
First, the atmosphere is very cheap and creepy. Nothing feels cleans, it is almost always quite empty, and the food never looks fresh.
The service is terrible. One Friday a co worker and I went in for a bagel. The service was rude to say the least. The woman serving us had such an attitude. We left and went to another café because of this, and because the interior was so dark, dirty, and dreary.
Later that day, I decided to go back to muddy waters because 1) I was having a family emergency and needed an outlet so I could communicate with them. I thought muddy waters would have one available because they are so empty, and I also needed some quiet. 2) Watching my friend eat her bagel put me in the mood for one.
When I returned, I sat down, plugged in my computer and phone (to secure my seat and my outlet), checked my phone for family updates and was about to pull out my wallet and go to the counter. My friend was also meeting me there to grab lunch and coffee for herself, btw. But before I could do anything (I checked my watch: literally 1 minute after arriving to the shop), the woman behind the counter began shouting at me. She remained behind the counter the entire time, yelling across the room. She degraded me, calling ME disrespectful for coming into her store with another stores coffee (there was ¼ liquid left in my cup) and food (I didn’t have any food with me– I assume she thought I had some in a plastic bag I had with me that I had just put something I bought from a store inside). She kicked me out of the coffee shop even after I tried explaining that I was just here an hour ago and was back for more and that someone was meeting me, who I was waiting for. She didn’t even give me the chance. I have never felt more embarrassed.
It is a very common thing in SF to café hop and I don’t understand why she thought that after being there for only a minute (again, I checked the time), I was simply not going to purchase anything (even though I had purchased something earlier that day??). There is just so much faulty logic on her half that I cannot begin to comprehend.
I will never go back and tell my entire office to never work from there.
Disgusting.

Great for working and WiFi. TONS of outlets!

Everyone who works here is extremely rude. I’ve had several bad experience with the staff. If you come in and sit down and take out a laptop, they’ll come over and yell at you to buy something.
Food and coffee is sub par. Avoid at all costs. If you need to work late, go to Its Tops.

Their drinks are bad and the people that work there are rude.
This is my least favorite coffee shop in the mission. I only went to this place because they have good hours but i prefer to walk further to get to «it’s tops» to avoid this place. Totally don’t recommend.

Cashier was very rude. I brought my whole family for a few drinks. After a while the cashier stopped answering me and mugged me in front of my family. There was no line and he was purposely moving slow. He left me hanging and my dad had to get up and ask for an extra cup. He started staring down my dad before handing a cheap clear plastic water cup.

Chilling atmosphere and kind staff.
Brownies and coffee are perfect.
I would come here again for sure if I lived in SF

Note to Tonite’s Cashier:
Being miserable does not give you the right to hassle customers & could IN FACT cause you a world of hurt you are not ready for. Just saying.
This is my 2^nd run-​in with the same shitty guy w/​his shitty miserable outlook on life. About 3 weeks ago I stopped by to grab drinks with a friend… condescending rude smart ass. For no reason… but we laughed it off because it was simply unwarranted. Felt sorry for him actually.
Today I walk in and see him hawk-​eying me from across the room as I sit down (I was on a long distance phone call w/​mom). About an hour later he makes it a point to come and ask me if he could «get me something» (already w/​the presumptive attitude that I’m just loitering…). My «no thanks» leads to « — everyone else here has bought something & this place is for paying customers». Really, dude? After I tell him I’m heading out cause I could feel myself getting hot… he’s gonna get loud and say I can leave if I don’t like it. Dumb fuck — -just said I was leaving. And don’t underestimate a Pretty Face, ya punk bitch! I was actually just getting settled in from another café… trying to space out my drinks… and didn’t appreciate him glaring at me the whole time I sat there. I’m not about to be bullied by ANYONE. Ya heard.
Note to Cashier:
You might catch someone on the wrong day so take it easy. Just saying’.

This review is about the INCREDIBLE amount of disability discrimination for wheelchair users this business is guilty of.
First let me say that I am a huge supporter of local coffee shops in the Mission. I have been going here, the Muddys on 24^th, Café La Boheme, Café Tazo, and others for many years. I have never come across something like this before:
This place has a huge ledge at the door so wheelchair users cannot get inside. Why they don’t install a *tiny* concrete ramp (which would cost less than $ 50 and be a tax write-​off) is beyond me. Instead, if you are privy to the inside-​scoop, they will bring you a fold out ramp. Or so I thought.
A couple weeks ago I asked for an employee named Nick to bring me the fold out ramp. I was astonished when he firmly said «NO!» I use a wheelchair every day for traveling but can walk short distances to the bathroom and such (it is painful to walk because I have nerve damage in my legs).
«I’ve seen you walk before! I’m not getting the ramp. You can walk in here and leave your wheelchair outside.»
My jaw nearly hit the floor. I asked to talk to his supervisor and so he called her and put her on the phone. I explained the situation and she seemed slightly bothered (though not outright upset) with what was happening.
Nick picked up the ramp and brought it over finally and said «I’m only doing this because otherwise you will sue us or something stupid like that.»
I told him he did not know about my condition and that it caused me pain to walk. I asked him if it caused him pain to bring me the ramp.
«It causes me mental anguish» he said.
I called the manager again after this and told her about his behavior. She said it was a problem and that she would call me tomorrow to talk to me about it.
Well that was weeks ago. She never called back and this jerk still works there, so I cannot feel safe and welcome in this space.
It’s heart breaking to know the management continues to let someone who discriminates against customers with disabilities work here. They should also just make a permanent ramp so wheelchair using customers actually know they can enter the space.
Here is a picture I took of the entrance:

With only 1 staff holding down the fort, this place seems a bit run down. Drinks are mediocre. The reason why I keep coming back is because of seating. This place can fit like 100 people. Seating all around the perimeter and wall outlets everywhere!
CASH ONLY!

My friends and I aren’t from SF and we were walking around for a long time so we sat down to take a break. Plugged in my phone to the wall and chatted for 5 minutes. A woman from behind the counter approaches us and asks us if we’re going to order anything or if we’re just here to charge our phones. She goes on and says that if we want to come in and charge our phones, we should at least come in and ask. She added that the shop was a business and they needed payment and didn’t want to sit and wait for us to order. She walked away to wipe the tables surrounding us and didn’t say another word.
Very, very unprofessional. We were checking out the menu, unsure of what to get and discussing which and what to get. Because of the rude encounter, we didn’t order. We left to another shop across the street. Muddy customer service.

I’ve been coming here regularly for the past 9 years because my son goes to school at Synergy, just down the street. I typically work from here maybe once a week. The WiFi is strong and stable. The staff is all wonderful (especially Ms. Hoda, but the owner is extremely nice too), the coffee is always perfect and they learned how I liked it by the 3^rd time. The music tends towards World music with some jazz thrown in, which is a perfect mix for me (and it’s not too loud, like in some coffee shops, so you can here yourself think, or have a conversation). They recently changed the bathroom access, and also put a mirror in there, so it’s way more convenient now.
The only downside at Muddy’s is a non-​controllable for them… they are in the edgy Mission, so sometimes people wander in who haven’t bathed in awhile, or someone will be smoking pot outside the front door, which can waft in (I like to sit in one of the front window tables, so I get the full force of that). There’s also a Google bus stop in front, so you get the fumes, noise and the crowded sidewalk, but that’s pretty minor and mainly in the morning commute hours. Oh yes, there is free street parking on the adjacent streets, but only for 2 hours, then you have to move your car.
I’ve met some very interesting people here too (noted authors, creative types, local politicians). Although I am working and not looking for distractions, that can be an added benefit when I’m in a social mood.