Take 5 Snack & Newstand

Working in the FiDi means that you know about hustle and bustle. Let’s face it, from the time you get off public transit (Cable Car for me) until the time you get to the office, you kinda just want to be done with the commute. It’s crazy busy, and walking down Montgomery is a rush of people going in both directions. For whatever reason, people in SF don’t always quite recognize that sidewalks are like roads. Walk on the right side, don’t just stop in the middle of traffic, and pay attention to what’s happening. Ai yah. We’re all in a rush. Many of us are tired. A few of us may be… um… not enjoying the morning.
What I like about Take 5 more than any other feature is its location. It’s tucked away on the West side of Montgomery, in between Sutter and Bush. It’s totally on the way if you’re walking down Montgomery. I have yet to see any sort of a line. It’s almost like a drive-​through for as quick as I can stop and be on my way.
Not a lot of frills. It’s a nice space — none of the dingy features so often present in downtown markets. I’m pretty much about Diet Coke or some form of cold-​caffeine in the morning. They’ve got a decent selection at prices that are average for the neighborhood. They also have a range of snacks and quick items. Service is average.
Overall, it isn’t a place to seek out. But if it’s on your way, it’ll do nicely without leading to a detour and added time to the already long-​enough morning commute.

It’s really nice to go into a place that has the junk food and preservative laden stuff I love. The people are always smiling, probably know 3 words in English. The guy sometimes plays good music. HOWEVER, come on, could you take debit cards? Even a $ 5.00 minimum, like some corner stores do – but this store is in the middle of the Financial District (which is a laughable misnomer, except for people who think San Francisco is a real city, but that’s another subject). Everyone is waving a debit card around. The could do more business and come out even with the debit card fee. However, it’s CASH ONLY, forcing me to put my stuff away and go to the ridiculous Coffee Bar. I guess the laugh was on me.

Four stars because it’s cash only. Does that mean they don’t pay taxes?! Sigh… but anyway… I LOVE their Avocado Power sandwiches. They have quite the variety here. I also get boiled eggs two for a dollar; not bad. They have yogurt, string cheese, nuts, chocolate candy, snacks galore. Very convenient for me because I work across the street, and only have 30 minute lunch breaks.

Fine selection for a convenience stores, but one of those places that has a credit card minimum that drives me nuts. I think my total was $ 7.00, and the minimum was $ 10 — so he had me troop over to his ATM to get the cash. Annoying.

Take 5 is my go-​to store for a quick snack or soda during the work day. They have a variety of sweet and savory snacks but cereal & milk for breakfast. They also have a wide array of sodas if you need a caffienated pick-​me-​up.

I work in the Bank of the West building across the street from Take 5. Yes, I agree the lady who works in the morning is a little scary, but never makes you feel like you have to leave the store, although she is ALWAYS on the phone screaming at someone!
The younger guy that works here is so nice, he greets everyone with a smile and «HELLLLLOOOOOO» it’s kind of funny!
They carry pretty much everything, you can get your lunch, dessert, snacks and energy drinks here; although they don’t carry a wide variety there are days where I have to get my No Fear down the street at the 7 – 11 on Market!
But what I like most about them is they are open kind of late so when we have late nights in the office I can run across the street for some chips and candy without worrying about walking to Market street!

This store is cheaper than all the other convinence stores in the area.
Nice people, decent selection, they take commuter checks!
There’s an ATM if you need one in a hurry but it charges a pretty high fee.

People who have met me in person usually wonder «Darin, why are you so nice?» No, really.
Well, here’s why: one of the things I love about cities — like San Francisco — which are hemmed in tighter than my sphincter around the huge stick shoved up my ass is the constant exposure to aggression, abuse, and other forms of fucked up behavior. I never know what to expect when I walk down the street. Last Friday night, a redheaded dude in need of sod on top stopped me and asked:
RHD: [inaudible due to ear canal headphones]
Me: I’m sorry, what?
RHD: I said, hey, you wanna do a stripshow for my friend here?
Me: [looking at 80-​year old man with fedora, turkey neck, and walking cane] Uhh, excuse me?
RHD: Seriously.
Me: [looking at 80-​year old as he flashes me a gap-​toothed smile]
RHD: He wants it.
Me: [blank stare] …
RHD: Oh hahaha, ok, that’s cool, don’t worry about it.
And this past Sunday a street lush, flush with rubicund cheeks and, likely, lice crawling in his ashen brown hair was staggering down the street, saw me, stopped and asked «HEY, CAN I BUM A SMOKE?» though I wasn’t smoking, then screamed «HEY FAGGOT, I’M TALKING TO YOU YOU FUCKING FAGGOT FUCK YOU» as I ignored him and walked away.
I don’t mind any of this because it reminds me that a lot of folks are miserable fuckers who treat others like shit ’cause the only other option would be to off themselves; it reminds me that Hobbes was indeed correct when he wrote that life is «nasty, brutish, and short»; and it reminds me to appreciate those people in my life — however cursorily — who embody love and manners and kindness, rare as they are, and to style myself after them, if not in essence then at least in affect.
For the last few years I’ve dropped by Take 5 in the morning because it’s close to my office. They stock the usual necessities found at convenience stores — sodas, juices, Tampax, candies, L’eggs pantyhose, ice cream, Powerbars, lotto tickets (BIG MONEY NO WHAMMY!), greeting cards for co-​workers you hate but pretend you like because it’s politically expedient, condoms for those mid-​morning office cornholings (hey fuck you, how else am I gonna move up the corporate ladder? Oh wait, my boss is a woman), did I mention Tampax? — and don’t mark up their offerings excessively. But do I want to talk about what Take 5 carries? No, I want to talk about the sweet Korean Oma who runs the store with her husband and son. She recognizes me and never fails to smile and ask how I’m doing — a tough task since I’m a bitter cunt at 9 am. And because I’m such a fucking mess, I’ve come up short for my purchases on a few occasions — Oma doesn’t mind, she simply tells me to pay her back tomorrow.
Granted, things weren’t always so pleasant in our morning «relationship.» When I first started frequenting Take 5, Oma was incredibly kind, chatty and solicitous. It surprised me at first, though I later found out why:
Oma: [smiling] So, where you from?
Me: Me? I’m from Hawai‘i originally.
Oma: Oh, good! You are Korean, yes, yes?
Me: Uhh… no.
Oma: Oh, I thought you were Korean, you look Korean. Hmm, so you… Chinese?
Me: No…
Oma: …
Me: I’m…Japanese.
Oma: [stops smiling and slams change on the counter]
Though I’m technically more American than some of my white friends — and thank gawd for that ’cause if I was a Japo citizen I’d basically be Japan’s National Shame, luckily I’m just America’s — I wasn’t offended by Oma’s disgust because I know my ancestors were fucking militaristic dickheads. So I continued to patronize Oma’s store — even after she knew that I knew that she knew who I was — and we’ve healed the scars of history and bitterness created by the Japanese ability to DENY EVERYTHING SINCE WE’RE ALWAYS RIGHT and the Korean ability TO HOLD A FUCKING GRUDGE UNTIL THE END OF TIME.
My day hasn’t officially begun until I buy a Diet Coke Plus from Oma and receive a huge smile in return.
I do, however, draw the line at stripshows for a denture-​deprived Grandpa. Gimme a fucking break, I’m not THAT nice.

Every time I stop by Take 5, the owner/​salesperson is always on the phone. She seems pretty agitated most of the time, too. She’s an Asian woman in her late 50s, and she’s seen it all. Frankly, I am a little scared of her.
The best thing about this store is that they sell parking cards. They almost never have $ 50 cards, but their cash register is chock full of the $ 20 variety.
Parking cards are a lifesaver! These days, parking meters charge a quarter for every 15 seconds, meter maids are on a mission to double our City’s revenues, and, unless you’re smokin’ hot, no one will give you change for a dollar. What a world we live in!
Other than the parking cards, Take 5 is just your average run-​of-​the-​mill convenience store located in the Charles Schwab building. They have soda, gum, yogurt, fruit, chewing tobacco, etc. at your average convenience store prices.
And now, the all-​important Simpsons quote:
Customer: «How much is your penny candy?»
Apu, Kwik-​E-​Mart employee: «Surprisingly expensive!»
Take 5, people!