101 Express Smog

I volunteered to take my boyfriend’s truck here as he was short on time.
After hearing his back story of how the old guy called the cops on him, I was wondering what did I get myself into?
I started looking online to see what others had said about this place and yes, it’s all true.
He’s a one man show without all the chit chat and how-do-you-do…have your paperwork ready and keys in hand (Cash is King!). No appointment needed! If no one else is waiting, you’ll be done in 10 mins.
Also, parking in the right spots would be great. He shares the lot with an auto body shop and he only has two spots in the back of the lot that are designated for him.
Yes, I would call him the Soup Nazi of the smog world… do all this correctly and you’ll have no problems. Just don’t piss him off!
Side note: no one mentioned (or noticed??) piles of Maxim magazines on the coffee table in the lobby (so that’s where they all went?). It reminds me of the ol school barber shops. lol

If I had read the previous review that the guy is the Soup Nazi of the smog world, I might possibly have decided to deal with the guy’s attitude. After all, I’m not there for a mani/​pedi. But I had not read it and so was not prepared for the surliness. I walked in, said «Hi! Are you available for a smog?» and got a mumble I could’t hear. I responded, «I’m sorry, what?» and he snarked «Your DMW paperwork. Can’t do anything without your DMV paperwork.» I said thanks but no thanks, walked right back out, and instead got my smog done in 10 minutes for $ 50 all in just around the corner at 21^st Ave Smog. The guy there (Steve) wasn’t exactly friendly either but did offer up a «Can I help you?» You can probably save yourself about $ 10 if you look for smog testing on line, call around and have a coupon, but I needed mine done asap and this worked.

Great experience. Efficient and reasonably priced (get the coupon online).
I tried 21^st Avenue Smog first because the reviews are better than this place. I got there at 10 and he still wasn’t open despite posted hours staring he opens at 8:30. Didn’t want to waste time waiting around. This place is right across Palm.
Yes, the owner is gruff and isn’t interested in small talk. So what? You need your smog certificate as quickly as possible. He gets the job done correctly and with no wasted motion.
The woman ahead of me had a late model Mustang. The owner told her about a coolant leak and advised her to see a mechanic. He didn’t have to say a word, but he did.
Be nice and pay cash. It says on the invoice cash is preferred and I am sure it helps him out with credit card fees.
Don’t stop in front of the body shop office. Keep going all the way to the back and park off to the left.

Got a $ 35 coupon off the internet. I walked in and was asked «Where’s your papers?» I answered «I don’t have any but I have a registration in the van» Rude but fast service and I was the only customer there. It seems like less than 10 minutes and I was driving away with a passed SMOG test.

Bad attitude… the service tech there yells at me because I had a dog, When I asked for his name he told me it was Joe. Who knows, he had a scruffy beard and glasses. I had not even entered the waiting room yet and had planned on walking my dog while my car was being smogged. Very condescending. I found a great smog station, an Arco at 3^rd and Delaware just 3 blocks from my home. They took me right away at a better price, with no lip about my dog. Great find, close to restaurants and shops, if I had to wait. I will be taking my business to them from now on.

RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, AND A LIAR. I called about a coupon i had, he said it expired, but would give me the next one which was $ 27.95. Afterward i was charged $ 45 (8 for the cert).
I told him he quoted me $ 26.75, he said he was not honoring that price. I was stuck, so paid. Be aware: he is the rudest person i have ever met, he must have a brain disease to be so ornery.

Read through all these reviews and you notice a few similarities. Don’t park in the driveway, they share it with the auto body place. Don’t go in the garage, there’s equipment built into the floor and it can be dangerous. Have your paperwork ready, everyone there is in a rush and you are slowing everything down.
There is a GIANT sign under the smog sign in the driveway that specifically states not to park in the driveway. You do not deserve to be coddled. Many people here stated that they ‘put up with it’ because they were in a hurry. This is why you are here. The dude is fast and efficient, and definitely eccentric. A machine. I went in today and it was packed, and I was still out in 15 minutes.
Bring a coupon. The prices are posted on the wall of the waiting room and they are quite high if you don’t have it. I didn’t get jerked around and while I was there during a busy Monday lunch hour, everyone paid the same price and waited the same amount of time.
If he offends you, by all means, go somewhere else, but know that you aren’t hurting his business any. Get over yourselves.

I rarely give low reviews as I am not that picky, but as the other reviews state, the owner/​manager is horribly mean and rude. He doesn’t treat people like human beings. As soon as I walked into the office he yelled at me. And yes, I HAD my registration, but that did not stop him from yelling. I’ve never left a place of business feeling so horrible. There are other comparable smog check and auto care places in the area — why would anyone subject themselves to this treatment?

Ok, after reading all the horrible reviews I had to see this for myself.
Understanding that this guy is like the Soup Nazi of smog tests, I drove in. Properly parked my car in a stall. Walked in and handed him my DMV form, coupon & keys.
The guy had just completed another car and went promptly to work on mine.
I did get gently reminded not to wander into the garage.
10 min later, he comes in to tell me I passed. I pay.
$ 26 Coupon price + $ 10 for STAR test + $ 10 for anything older than 1996.
No other customers waiting, so he switches from Business to Party mode.
Offers me some crackers & spicy dip, talks about his spice line he’s launching, his trip to Yosemite.
So he’s a little eccentric, but if you know how to play by his rules, you’re in & out in a flash.

Joe was great! The people writing the one star reviews need to go some place to get the latte they think they should be getting with their smog check. When the man ask you for your paperwork, hand him your damn paperwork! He is an exceptional human being, makes his own hot powder stuff, not my thing but apparently great and knows everything you would need to know about spices. He has some pictures of him and his homeless friend climbing Half Dome, took the homeless guy, setting him up with all the equipment he would need and bought him a camera so he could document the adventure. One star people need to know not everybody fits into the box you think everybody should be in. I admire Joes straightforward, no frills attitude. Oh, and the smog check was quick which is all I need from a smog check place.

This place does one thing — smog checks. This guy is a machine. I didn’t catch his name, but had to admire the efficiency.
Simple instructions:
1. Just come in — no appointments, no asking wait times, don’t call. These slow down the machine and conditions will change by the time you arrive. If they’re open, go in and take a number.
2. Just hand him your DMV renewal form. Everything is on there. You don’t need to talk. Chit chat if for after your car is tested.
3. Sit back and wait. If you’re first in line, no sweat. Ten minutes and you’re done. Otherwise, just multiply the number of people in the waiting room by 10min.
4. He’s done, but don’t get up yet. He’s going to get the next smog started _​before_​he talks to you. Because efficiency is more important than your ego.
5. Pay the man. He works hard. Now’s the time for chit chat.
If you’re nice and like a little spice, you might get a sample of some homemade onion-​habanero powder. It has a kick that’s really nice.
I would definitely come here again. Unfortunately, it’ll be another year or two. Wish I would have found this place sooner.
Be aware — added fees if you slow down the machine (out of state, large vehicle, whatever). Still a good price and cheaper than most places.

I called to inquire about a smog check and the guy was a TOTAL JERK. I had a question about the DMV paperwork, to which he gave me a very short answer and then hung up on me. I wasn’t even on the phone with him for one minute and evidently he didn’t have the time to answer my question. I don’t expect him to be my best friend, but at least take 30 seconds to answer my question if I’m going to hand you money for a service, geez. I’ll pay the extra $ 2 to get my smog done at another place.

Quick service. Great people.
Don’t let the bad reviews scare you away, bring your car here.
No need to pay any more than you need to!
Print the coupon, have it with you, your paperwork and you’re set to go.

In and out in less than 10 minutes as a drivein around lunchtime on a Wednesday. All the bad reviews kind of scared me, but since it’s the cheapest place around I took a chance. If you’re not looking to make a BFF and just want a cheap smog test in San Mateo, this place is great. Bring your coupon, DMV paperwork, payment, and park in a space all the way in the lot.

*this review is from a 1 minute phone call*
Was interested in doing my smog check here because of a coupon i saw online, and it clearly says on the coupon to have it ready by appointment or while you wait. So i called asking when i could come in asap, and the guy over the phone rudely interrupts me and says there are no appointments, we don’t do appointments, tells me its first come first serve and hangs up. Ok… Fine. Went on Unilocal to check the hours/​info, and saw all these 1 star reviews that are a pretty good indicator of what kind of person this man is. Anyways, i’d rather pay a little more and avoid someone like this.

Cheap smogs.
Stow your horribly entitled attitudes about being treated in a decent manner and take a couple orders. Take a little time to write a couple one star reviews while you wait for the test to get done. No snails in your yards you salty ass Unilocal reviewers.
Pass/​Fail pay up and you’re done. Pro tip: AAA has DMV lines for renewal so you can avoid further indignities at the real DMV.

I wish I could leave this thing, he’s not human, a –500 star review. Rude person, don’t get your smog check done here.
I walked in «how much for a smog test sir»?
«Do you have your dmv paperwork»?
«No»
” go get me the freakin paper“
I literally wanted to choke the guy.
I gather my anger and put it aside. I go back to the car and my father in law gives my his DMV paperwork. I go inside and hand it to him. He look at it «I can do it for $ 35.00 bucks»
We contemplate making the move to get our smog test done with this guys obnoxious attitude, we said screw it. So we unfortunately decided to give this thing a try and as we walk over he yells «go sit in the office»
My father in law yells back «is the door open»?
We sit down in the filthy waiting room reading a couple magazines.
He murmurs a bunch of nothing and nobody in the room understood who he was referring to. So my father in laws asks «who are you talking to» three people stood up confused!
The thing replies «who ever wants to get their car smog check done»!
My father in law walks up and the thing tells him to «stand in front of the counter» «where is your DMV paperwork»?
My father in law «is this the right way I am supposed to hand you my paperwork»? «just want to make sure I am following your rules»!
My father in law is obviously not taking crap at this point and the thing recognizes the returned attitude due to the things intolerable attitude/​demeanor so the thing tells us «why don’t you guys have a nice day»! «I’m not going to take this attitude» the thing says
So we just leave and walk out!
Nobody ever go here! This guy is crazy and has no respect for anyone and I’m sure that goes for anything in life!

Life is too short to deal with rude people, even if it means saving a few bucks. The guy working here is just bitter and will take it out on you for having the nerve to ask a simple question. I can’t understand why people are willing to look past that when there are lots of places to get a smog test.
Some advice to the grumpy dude: if you don’t want people parking in front of your garage, paint a freaking sign telling them where to park. If you want people to bring in their registration, don’t bark at them that you need «documents» — tell them exactly what you need. When you’re open for business and there are no customers, don’t lie down on the couch — it just looks bad when someone walks in.
This is not communist Russia in the 1980’s. People have a choice of who they give their money to (cable/​broadband being an exception) and Businesses that treat people like this have no place staying open.

Arrived with no appointment Tues mid-​morning and was the only customer there. Finished in about 10 minutes — initial paperwork to driving off. The guys at the desk was definitely «quirky» but I don’t let things like that bother me. I’m there for a discounted smog check — not a medical diagnosis. If I cared about professionalism, I would go somewhere else. I Ignored the guy’s idiosyncrasy and saved myself at least $ 10 (with a coupon) and at least ½ hour of my time. I recommend this place if all you need is a smog check. Average!

This place USED to be great. I’ve taken 6 or so cars here over the last three years and the service started out great but has gotten progressively worse. Today, I brought a truck in that I purchased out of state and needed to get smogged before I could register it. I didn’t have any state issued paperwork so he refused to perform the smog. I can’t say I didn’t call beforehand… In fact I called right before I came in and quickly tried to explain the situation but he kept interrupting me just telling me to «just come in, first come first serve». If he had let me get a word in over the phone he would have saved me a trip.
On top of that and most notable was the complete rudeness and unprofessionalism. I pulled into the small parking lot and he waved his hand up at me as if to tell me it would be a five minute wait. As I got out he started yelling at me telling me not to block the parking lot. No need to be an asshole!