Scottsdale Mondrian

It is now called The McCormick

Phallic alert. Yes, everything in this place has some sexual connotations about it. From the butt lamps, boobs on the lobby walls, and f*ck me looking rooms, it screams sex. Oh ya, on a side note, check out the plastic chairs in the RedBar. If you look at the floor at just a right angle from the chair, the shadow looks like an erect penis.
Okay, maybe I shouldn’t drink so much Malibu here. But if someone else is buying, I’m not saying no. Drinks can be pretty pricey and the service is halfassed at best. And I’m not just talking their slutty outfits.
Pool can be fun if you’re with a big group. There are always lots of strippers and slutty skanks walking around in high heels (yes, at the POOL) and douche bag dudes with fake tans and too much muscle. It’s great for next day stories :)

This place needs an update, bigtime. I booked 5 rooms for co-​workers and I in town on business. Upon pulling up to the hotel, I was immediately thinking I may lose my job for making the decision to stay at this dump. The hotel is comprised of white buildings that look like a run down apartment complex. The lobby is nice. cool décor of butt shaped floor lamps and a random lamb. The bars are nice too, but seem to be chock full of strung out coke heads.
One co-​worker had to move rooms due to an ant infestation and the AC sounds like an airplane is about to land in your room. I’ve also heard that the AC doesn’t keep up in the summer months, but didn’t experience that as our stay was during the month of October.
All in all, I would go back to the bars here, but wouldn’t ever stay here again.

Let me preface my 4-​star rating with: I did NOT pay the full price of $ 145+/Night for my stay here. In fact, when I stay at local hotels in Scottsdale, I ALWAYS Hotwire it and end up spending about $ 50/​Night on average. Because of this, my reviews tend to lean towards a more generous star rating than they may actually deserve if we were paying full price.
That being said, I think Mondrian gets a bad rap because it’s easy to hate on. Yeah, the butt lamps are tacky, the rooms are small and have what look like boobie tassels hanging from the counter, and wtf is with the sheep thing? But honestly, the service was great from start to finish (with the exception of a slightly bitchy pool bartender), the drinks were strong, and I really didn’t get a pretentious Scottsdale vibe from any of the other guests. The pool had enough plastic around it to float a small village but really who doesn’t like a good pair of fake boobies for your Saturday afternoon enjoyment? I know I do.
We checked in early (around noon, when our room wasn’t guaranteed until 4) and it was kind of a late birthday party for me so since I knew their pool was opened to the public I invited some friends to visit. They met me in the lobby and I asked the front desk person about the pool policy. He said there is a cover if you’re not a room guest but slipped me 3 extra «guest passes» so my friends wouldn’t have to pay! To top it off, our room was ready immediately! AKA they didn’t look at the rate I paid before deciding to make me wait until the very last possible second before letting me into my hotel room (a la Valley Ho).
The valet guys didn’t turn up their noses when we said we’d rather self park, they just gave us directions as to how to park the closest to our room. When we checked out, everyone asked how our stay was and the same front guest guy invited me back to pool for round two. Unfortunately I was way too hungover (see aforementioned point about strong drinks) but it was tempting.
All-​in-​all I had a good time, and I don’t consider myself a douche. Though, after reading this review, you might disagree.

RED ALERT — if you are over the age of 30, no matter how good the rate is… DON’T DO IT. The best thing about this hotel is it’s potential. which it does not live up to. It has all the makings of a cool, modern retro experience but loses it’s appeal in the fact that it is dirty, LOUD, unfriendly and incredibly inconvenient. Do not be confused — you are not signing up for a relaxing, sophisticated, enjoyable experience you are booking yourself into a low-​end day drinking nightmare with all the d*****bag trappings. We had the misfortune of checking in on a Saturday amidst a «pool party». The music was so loud that we couldn’t even have a conversation in our room while we got ready for dinner. This went on until 6:30 and then began the parade of idiots — full grown men with baby floaties around their biceps, sad girls with daddy issues walking up Buckboard Rd in their bikinis, beer bottles and food all over the place. It was gross. Plus this hotel is so concerned about people sneaking into their pool that it’s almost impossible to get in or out of the parking lot without secret service credentials and a pool pass.
The room was as dirty as the exterior — …an old apple was left in our entertainment center, the A/​C was so old and inefficient we laid in bed sweating all night and the thing was set at 65 degrees. The bed was comfortable enough but the sheets felt like plastic, like bed-​wetting (I’m not kidding) repellent sheets. We were awoken 4 times during the night by loud drunk guests yelling down the halls.
The next morning we had a great swim and relaxed by the pool… until 9:30 a.m. when all the hungover guests came down and started downing beers again. This place needs to decide if it is a high end hotel destination or MTV Spring Break.

OK, let’s just get this on the table right now. NO, this is NOT a modern, new hotel but it is definitely cool and fun. It has that feel of an old desert resort, like the ones you find in Palm Springs. It is set up more like a resort, with all of the residential buildings surrounding the two pools. It’s fun that you can walk around the hotel’s landscaped grounds, featuring curving walkways and fountains. It’s also in a great location, right in Oldtown Scottsdale so you can walk to great dinner options.
The check in process was great. The woman took the time to explain the layout of the resort and all the amenities available. The parking was a bit confusing, but the valet was quick to assist me.
The room was cool and modern. All the walls have a sleek curtain covering, making you feel like you’re in a trendy club. Yes, the bathrooms aren’t new marble, but you don’t really care because it’s hip and different and not your boring norm. The only thing I would say is that it’s not quite geared for business travel. the plexi glass chair and tiny desk area are not conducive to long work on the lap top. Hell! Who cares! I took my lap top out onto my large patio that featured a comfy chaise lounge. Problem solved!
I ordered coffee through room service and it arrived on time. It could’ve been a bit warmer, but I sure guzzled it down at 7:30 am. Another nice touch you don’t see that often anymore was the minibar. Yes, everything is expensive, but I love the convenience of having a beer on the patio on a hot night if you want.
Overall, I had a great experience. I will definitely be back, hopefully in cooler weather. These 115 degree days can be killer!

Major Disappointment!
Second-​rate customer service began right at arrival while we were checking-​in. We waited patiently to be helped, and when we were finally able to check-​in, we were faced with an unfriendly welcome. Our condescending guest service agent rudely interrupted other agents and guests while she was still assisting us.
On our way to the room, we noticed the white exterior walls badly needed a new paint job. Not only was the exterior an atrocity, but the inside of the room had tears in the wall paper, and unfinished/​missing trimmings on the wall. The size of the room and bathroom was decent considering the large balcony over-​looking the Scottsdale Mall/​garden. The bed; however, was impressively comfortable. If you’re looking for a loud pool party, this is the place to be all weekend. Good luck getting in though, the line is outrageous!
The only saving graces I found in this place was the Skybar, and Red Room. We wandered in for a drink at the Red Room on Saturday night and were thoroughly impressed by the acoustic cover band playing that night. On Sunday night, the Skybar transformed itself into a french themed night titled Pere Lachaise. The DJs were two of the best I’ve heard in a long time mashing up 90’s to current hip-​hop, classic 80’s, and some house. Since I can still visit these two bars without checking-​in, I will remember to keep it that way for the next time I need to stay in Old Town Scottsdale.

Like An Episode of Nip/​Tuck
The hotel is super hip. The coolness factor almost borders on overkill. Everything is white. Valets are all dressed in white. The lobby is white. The rooms are all white. I felt like I was in some kind of hospital recovery room.
We pulled up to a valet area that was filled with exotic sports cars. Our rental Hyundai was a little out of place. When we checked in, we asked about getting a double room instead of a king. My friend had actually called in advance and they said it was no problem so we didn’t think it was a big deal. Well, the clerk made it very clear that because we booked through Hotwire, we really had no say in the type of room. He said that we were lucky there was a double room available and he was going to let us switch rooms but not to expect it when we book through Hotwire. I should note that the double room we were given was right near the hotel’s nightclub so the thumping of bass from the music went well into the wee hours of the night. Think of sleeping nicely at home and having a car parked right next to your bedroom window with the loudest bass popping stereo… that’s what it is like to sleep at the Mondrian.
Other than the front desk clerk, all of the other hotel employees were nice. I probably wouldn’t stay there again if given the choice not because it’s not nice but because of the general vibe given off from the place. It just wasn’t my scene. If you are young, toned, tanned and have a tattoo on the small of your back if you’re a girl or a tribal arm band tattoo if you’re a guy, this is the hotel for you. If not, you’ll probably end up feeling worse about yourself than when you stepped out of your rental Hyundai.

Before you read this review, I strongly recommend that you visit the hotel website at
. Looks pretty cool, doesn’t it? Now, forget everything you just saw and keep reading.
When I booked this hotel on Priceline for my annual spring training trip, I was extremely excited. It looked as though for $ 86 a night + tax, I was going to stay at a 4-​star hotel similar to one of the W Hotels. In reality, what I got was a remodeled Holiday Inn Express, more pretentious than a house of a young rapper whose album just went double platinum and more tasteless than, well, a house of a young rapper whose album just went double platinum. As my friend eloquently put it, «pig with lipstick.»
We arrived at the hotel around 8 pm, and 2 valets dressed in white linen shirts and pants approached us. White is the theme here. EVERYTHING is white. We walked up the stairs into the lobby, which looked like. .. well, the place where alabaster goes to die. Ambient lighting revealed alabaster chairs, alabaster clouds hanging from the ceiling, alabaster sheep covered with fake wool and alabaster lamps, adorned with women’s derrieres holding up the base. WOW.
We walked through the white sheer curtains into the front desk area. The two male clerks at the desk were sporting the Euro trash look with great panache. Too much product in their hair, and too much chest hair peeking through the unbuttoned shirt collars. While their voices said «Welcome to Mondrian,» the inflection in their voices said «You have no idea how lucky you are that I am talking to you.» I was being helped by a woman, presumably a manager, who looked like Tawny Kitaen from Whitesnake. «Here I go again on my own…» Didn’t she beat up her husband, pitcher Chuck Finley, with a stiletto heeled shoe? Sorry, there’s nothing funny about domestic violence.
Throughout the whole check-​in process, no one bothered to ask us about our room preferences, number of beds or any other questions you expect to be asked at a decent hotel. They were more concerned about getting us out of there, while informing us that parking cost $ 10 a night.
We drove around the corner to our building. The hotel is shaped like a giant «U» with a long, narrow pool in the courtyard in the middle. Each building is three stories high, keeping up with a Holiday Inn Express tradition. The only difference was, it was painted white.
We got to our room, where everything was, well, WHITE with navy blue accents. Cottage cheese ceiling reminded guests of the building’s 2.5-star past, but cottage cheese walls were masterfully covered by pleated sheer curtains to remind guests of the hotel’s 4-​star aspirations. A giant flat screen TV looked almost too modern, but it was still my favorite item in the room. Clear plastic Kartell chair and nightstand went well with the décor. Big queen size beds were very comfortable. The closet door swung open when one least expected it, partially blocking the entrance. Fire safety FAIL.
The bathroom looked fine, but not luxurious. The sliding door was a space saver, but didn’t have a lock. The accent navy blue wall housed 12 hooks — a simple, yet impractical organizer system. We were given one bar of soap. Even 2-​star hotels give you two: one for your face, and one for your body. We asked housekeeping for more, and they brought us 2 more bars right away. We didn’t see new soap for the rest of our stay. On the bright side, however, the soap was imported from Greece. Is Athens the soap capital of the world? What’s wrong with Ivory soap? Not once did housekeeping manage to get us the right number of towels. It was strange to have to request more on a daily basis.
Everything in this hotel was a la carte. I am not complaining about the ultra-​expensive minibar, which, by the way, included a cap and a pair of flip flops with the Mondrian logo. I can understand why a can of soda in the minibar is $ 5. I can also accept that a breakfast burrito by the pool (a very nice pool, might I add) costs you $ 17 + 20% gratuity + $ 3.50 service charge = $ 24. However, a hotel music compilation CD for $ 25, a bottle of Voss for $ 8 or a bottle of starch for all your ironing needs for $ 2.50? Who charges for a crappy hotel CD or starch? A hotel should be cheap or pretentious, but not both.
The hotel is located within walking distance from Scottsdale Stadium and Old Town Scottsdale, so I would probably stay here again if the price were right. However, I will definitely lower my expectations for next time, and I strongly recommend you do the same.

This review is of the bar only.
I visited a few nightspots in the Phoenix/​Scottsdale area and this place was actually tops on the list. The bar area had a modern Jonathan Adler feel and the crowd was a nice mix of straight/​gay, casual/​dressy, & mostly young and some older. The music was all over the board (r&b, pop, hip/​hop) and even heard a couple of good dance mash ups too. Also, there was no cover charge and half of the place is the balcony. The only down side is that the drinks are expensive. I ordered 3 cocktails for $ 36. $ 12 for a cocktail. Is this Los Angeles???

Ya know, this isn’t so bad. I just finished up a stay there last week for a night. Note that my night was free because I was staying there for work, but here are my thoughts…
1) Service = B. The front desk girl was nice, but seemed to lack a general enthusiasm about her work. Instead of feeling like my needs were of her interest, she sorta just made a vague attempt and sent me on my way. The poolside drink guy was super nice, but then again, if you were selling drinks at $ 12+ each, you’d probably want people to drink them too. It’s bank for the place.
2) Atmosphere = A. I’m young and I like sleek/​shiny. This wins. It does look a bit cheap in some atmospheres, but I don’t want to think they have cashmere hanging on the walls or something — who wants to pay for a hotel like that? It’s not the Ritz. FYI — my plasma TV was huge.
3) Overall Experience = C. How does A + B = C you ask? Well, it’s all put together a little poorly. First, everything’s a la carte. Internet = $ 10/​day. The most expensive mini-​bar I’ve ever seen. The staff was basically pretentious (umm…hello? you WORK AT a hotel — you’re not Paris Hilton).
Go here if you want a swanky, minimalist contemporary hotel experience with a luxurious, decadent, and hearty rack rate.

I am not impressed with the Mondrian at all. I have stayed here 4 or 5 times and each time left with a irritated feeling and an empty pocketbook.
The rooms are upwards of $ 300 bucks a night. For that you would expect them to be decent… When you first glance in at the black and white interior you find it modern and sleek, pretty swanky. Upon further investigation you realize it is all a scam. They must have went to «Design on a Dime» for ideas, then left because they couldn’t afford it. The «remodeling» from the James consists of sheets tacked to the walls and dangly things hot glued to the undersides of the counters, the bathrooms are a joke and I have almost broken the sliding doors (twice… sober). Also the TV’s are too big for the rooms so they must be watched at an odd angle.
The Skybar over looks the parking lot, how tacky (and hot) is that.
The pool is a pretentious joke. You should be a beauty queen or at least have an expensive rack. The cabanas can be rented for $ 500 a day, for that you get a TV, misters and a couch. I have actually been here on a few occasions because friends have DJ’d and my friend is the bar manager (it always helps to choke down free drinks). But if I was paying… Last time my friend ordered a pitcher of Sangria. We knew it would be expensive but $ 75! They use little penguin wine that you can pick up for 5 bucks… I wasn’t even able to get drunk enough to enjoy the underwater speakers. Ostentatious jerks!

I just can’t imagine why anyone would like this place. The odd décor in the lobby area is… yea…odd. The minimalist décor in the room – complete with a VERY cheap looking clear plastic chair for the desk – feels really cheap. Especially considering that the room rate was $ 300+ per night. The tagline for the hotel is «urban chic» and I get that the décor is *trying* to get there but if falls WAY short. I’d also heard that the food here was great… yea…not so much. I travel a lot and I have to say that this was one of the worst room service meals I’ve ever had. AND it was $ 40! (for an omelete, fruit and a glass of milk)
The staff wearing all white was cheesy… the traffic noise sucked… the internet access required two calls to tech support (and I’m no n00b)…the bed didn’t have a fitted sheet but a poorly tucked flat sheet… the fact that there is no signage on the exterior of the property is just plain quizzical. The only upside was the 42″ LG plasma TV – for that I’ll give it 1-​star. That and the fact that 1-​star is the lowest possible rating that I can give it.

Overpriced and unjustifiably pretentious.
I thoroughly explored this place with some curious out of town friends who wanted to consider staying here. We walked around the entire property and also looked at a room. For the quoted rates, the value simply isn’t there. As we walked up to the room they were showing us, the outdoor pathway actually looked no different than a cheap, run-​down motel. The room interior was underwhelming. The bathroom was shockingly crappy-​looking. The tub looked old.
The lobby looks interesting enough. For 5 seconds it kind of looks like it will meet up to its promised allure. But reality sets in when you look a little closer. The Mondrian is worth spending the time to walk around exploring it. It’s not worth paying money to sleep in.
My friends decided to stay elsewhere. (The Biltmore, actually).

It’s like a motel 6, but with very trendy décor
And of course the Sheep.
The hotel rooms are terribly old, the grounds are terrible old, all if very reminiscent of a Motel 6.
The clubs are crowded but fun.
Odds are you will see a celebrity or two, I sure did.
Don’t think I’ll be back anytime soon though…

The butt lamps, sheep, et cetera are not tongue in cheek. It’s definitely tongue out of cheek and all over someone’s genitals. It’s also incredibly tacky.
The valets are young punks who apparently forgot their job, but it’s very Miami for them to assume the lady should open her own door. Hello? I’m paying you and tipping you for the convenience of not having to do this myself. Doubtful that «bereft of manners» was part of your qualifications in getting a position there, but whatever.
Basically, this isn’t your mother’s hotel, unless your mother’s a filthy whore who doesn’t expect much.

I guess I need to preface this review that I left my «see and be seen» years behind me about 5 years ago. I landed here during the hot off season for a company meeting, and found it a bit odd of a place to hold a technical meeting. I don’t doubt this is a great party hotel (I mean, how can you turn down a full half liter of grey goose and «intimacy kit» in the mini bar), but for a business user, its not so great.
The room was fine, a standard queen, with I’m guessing a 42″ plasma TV and a lot of white sheets and lampshades. I spent at least 10 minutes looking for somewhere to plug in my laptop and most of the electrical outlets are of the two pronged variety. There is no desk or workspace and the wifi was spotty. Otherwise, great linens and toiletries.
The lobby, bar and restaurant is just plain odd, with a heaven and hell theme and white sheep statues (I am not kidding). My coworker and I both ordered off the appetizer menu, we had a salad, lettuce wraps, sparkling water, a glass of wine and a beer, and the total bill with a 20% tip came out to just under a hundred dollars. I’m not cheap, but I think that’s pretty steep, even if the food and service were very good (not spectacular, but very good). Not to mention $ 8 for a bottle of sierra nevada pale ale.
Anyway, it was an interesting place, but not one that I’d visit if I was footing the bill. I’m not sure if it was the heat, but I also did not witness the heavy partying and hot bods that might have made this place make more sense.

Swanky! Snazzy! Stylish!
Oh my.
I stayed at the Mondrian once — last June (2006). The room was impeccable. The décor, the modern furniture, the color palette were all pleasing to me. Plus, I made sure they had a CD player in the room (bonus!). Check-​in was a breeze, as was finding the room.
We ate dinner at the hotel, which, evidently, has been remodeled. I took a look-​see the other weekend and did not like what I saw. All white. White. White. White. Everywhere, except the new bar (also renovated, which I also don’t like) which boasts of devilish red. Quite ironic, it’s decorated with cherubs… and plastic-​looking stuff. Not my bag.
The old Mondrian, the one I hold so fondly in my memories, deserves a 5-​star rating. This new hotel only gets 4, and that’s generous because I’m still writing this based on a year-​ago memory and not on a recent experience.
On a side note: Apparently the pool is the hottest place to be on a weekend. But don’t plan to swim. This is where, if you’re beautiful enough, you’ll get to be beautiful with other beautiful people. Just don’t expect any Manson to be playing. Instead, expect some typical rap-​ish tunes to be blasting from the speakers. Again, not my bag.
But, dammit, if the rooms are still as stylish as I remember, I love this place.

Pool parties can be fun and i love the fact that they have speakers in the pool and you can actually hear the music in the water… beyond that the rooms are over priced uless you get the summer rate…
J-​bar or what ever it is called now is not too bad to start out…

The James is supposedly a refaced Holiday Inn, but I’m in love. From the lux freebies in the room, to the fluffy white duveted platform bed, to the IKEAish décor, the organic room service, and the pool equipped with underground speakers. I felt comfortable, pampered, and right at home.