Fil Thai Restaurant

I wanted to treat my roomie out to some lunch since he chauffeurs me to unexciting places, such as my mom’s house. About a block away from where she lives is a Thai restaurant.
I thought great. I love thai food and Auggie sure doesn’t mind it. So we walk in and this short sour looking woman peeks from behind the counter. «Hi you want to eat?»
This is the most common phrase in Filipino culture, but if I’m walking into a restaurant it should be obvious that I’m hungry. It felt like I was at some distant cousin’s house and I intruded five minutes after naptime. Obviously, this wasn’t going to be all Thai food.
Half the wall was decked with pictures of Thailand and the opposite wall had pictures of the Phillippines.
She shuffled her feet very slowly and walked us to a table. We sat down and she forgot to give us a menu. I thought she was getting the usual menu and water after she disappeared into the depths of the kitchen for about ten minutes. But I was sadly mistaken.
So, I got up and retrieved a menu myself. The moment we opened the menu our waitress dragged her feet over to our table and asked, «Did you pick anything?»
«Um No.»
If I lived in some mythical land where lazy trolls existed, their human equivalent would be our Fil-​Thai waitress. Five minutes later she asks, «You know what you want yet?»
We said «no.» But she continued to do this about five more times, each time we kept telling her «NO!». I must’ve been hungry like the wolf because we actually stayed.
My roomie ordered bbq fried rice and I ordered Lard Nar. Right when I ordered, the waitress said, «We don’t hab lahd nar.» What thai food or mixed thai food restaurant runs out of one of the most commonly eaten dishes next to pad thai?
«Wait. Let me check.»
She came back and said they had some left. But when the food got to the table it was like she scraped the insides of a pan for left over noodles and re-​fried everything with large globs of cooking oil.
My roomie’s dish also suffered from some sort of oil spill. It was like the Exxon Valdez except smaller. Nevertheless, it probably would have killed the same amount of arctic animals with all that grease.
Coming from a Filipino household, I’m well aware of how we make fried rice. I’m also aware that it should not be served in restaurants unless it was labeled «Fast Food.» It’s basically cooking oil and whatever left overs you had the night before with bacon or chinese sausages. Rice, coated with soy sauce.
I’m never going back there. She said that new management was taking over and they were becoming a steak house. Good riddance and good luck.