Good afternoon kids, I’m Mr. Rogers. We’re going to talk about the Court Square Diner & Café today. Can you say«identity crisis?» I knew you could! We were looking at apartments in the neighborhood and found ourselves with a couple of hours between appointments. We drove around twice and landed at Court Square both times. At first we weren’t sure it was open, but through the tinted glass, we saw someone at a table, so we went inside. We had high hopes, the inside was bright and airy, evoking memories of one of our favorite restaurants in Chicago’s Greek Town, but the resemblance ended there. We were handed brunch menus as we sat down(we came in about 11:50). Later, after we had ordered, when some other customers came in, we saw that they had a full menu and a brunch menu. Not cool. I started with a glass of cranberry juice. I usually hate paying for juice in a restaurant because the markup is so high. I mean, it’s three bucks for a gallon and you’re going to charge me $ 1.95 for six ounces? Please. I had a craving, and when delivered(promptly, at least) I knew from the first sip it was diluted. I wasn’t just displeased, I was offended. Who did they think they were kidding? The brunch menu was more diner than café, which is fine. I love a good diner. I’m still mourning the loss of Lushe’s in SoNo. I picked up a full menu on the way out, and they they have a pretty ambitious assortment, lots of pasta, wraps, burgers, but with the exception of steaks and seafood, the menu was more diner than café. I hear café, and I think«fine dining.» Fine this was not. My entrée was the bagels deluxe that came with smoked salmon, cream cheese, onions, capers, tomato, coleslaw and a pickle. To me, coleslaw and pickles don’t really go with smoked salmon. I gave these to my sweetie to go with his ribeye steak and eggs, which I’ll get to in a minute. The bagel was, I’m pretty sure, Lender’s. I grew up in New England, and the nearest good bagel bakery at the time was in Brookline, near my allergist’s office an hour away; I went there once or twice a year. So for the rest of the year, I survived on Lender’s. It’s a perfectly acceptable bagel for a sheltered suburbanite who doesn’t know any better. At least they’re boiled prior to baking. The salmon was fantastic. It was a generous serving, plenty to cover two halves of a bagel. The cream cheese was two standard tubs of Philly. They also brought me grape jelly. Yeah, I’ll have grape jelly with my salmon. Who designed this menu? The onions and capers were plentiful and I managed to make a decent, if not outstanding meal. Kengo ordered the steak and eggs. His steak scared me. A very thin piece of meat that looked pretty fatty and not ten ounces before cooking by a long shot. The poached eggs looked okay. I tasted the home fries, and they were nothing special. Dessert really killed the place for me. I ordered a berry crêpe. Big mistake. The crêpe was a) store-bought b) stale as all hell. The berries were fresh, the whipped topping from a can. When you walk into Court Square, you see a good quarter of the real estate taken up by a bar. With the courthouse so close, it only makes sense, I suppose, but I won’t go in here again until they make up their mind whether they’re a diner, a café or a restaurant/bar.