TNT Fireworks Shacks

I LOVE fireworks. My family and I get so excited over them, we go nutty, like the apes with the monolith. A guilty guilty blowin’ shit up pleasure.

At exactly 12:01am on June 27, as the 4^th of July inches closer, the signs of TNT blossom into the corners and alleys of regulated cities across the Southland. These shacks of red, white, and yellow (
) bring forth the anticipation of American celebration with the profound thoughts and sounds of «them thar blowed up real good!»
It’s now time to give thanks:
— Thanks for bringing the hoards of crazed families out of the woodwork and pouring
them onto main streets and thruways
— Thanks for charging and arm ‘n leg and taking gobs of my money and watching it go
up in sparks and smoke all within a 10 minute period
— Thanks for having 20 shacks in a one-​block radius so I don’t have to
drive my car to waste more money
— Thanks for providing «those special» things that no one dares talk about
— Thanks for selling fireworks 4 days before the 4^th so that everyone
and their mothers can continuously explode fireworks every single
night — Arrrrrrrrgggghhh!
— Thanks for the memories be it good or bad
5 stars — for the TNT, otherwise we’d all be running across the border to Tijuana
1 star — for creating roadblocks and traffic nightmares wherever your shacks may rise