I have never ever ever ever written a review for a fast food joint. First of all fast food is the devil and it was only created to kill you slowly while it makes you an addict. There is nothing honest or delicious nutritious about fast food. With that said holy crap there is no whopper in the world better than a Traverse City whopper. First of all the tomato is no throwaway vegetable. I ate the tomato by it’s self and found it to be more delicious than one purchased at a grocery store. I’m not saying it’s a farmers market level tomato, but it’s definitely in between a farmers market at a grocery store tomato. The lettuce was crunchy, people. It actually had flavor. I mean when does lettuce have flavor? Especially iceberg lettuce? Normally I micromanage the making of any fast food sandwich, because I believe that the person making my sandwich hates me deep in their soul and wants me to suffer so I try to hold her hand through the process and teach them how to make a fast food sandwich with the proper amount of lettuce the right amount of mayonnaise… I had to do none of that here. All ingredients are in perfect proportion. And usually I am not a pickle fan but these pickles were perfection. I’m not saying they’re gourmet. I’m saying it was the right pickle for the sandwich. Not too vinegary. Now let’s talk about the onions. Another ingredients that I always minus from my fast food sandwich. These onions had an umami flavor that I haven’t had since I was in LA. And they were cut thin so they didn’t overpower the sandwich. again perfect proportions. All sauces were done correctly. just enough but not too much. you shouldn’t have to think about the sauce on your sandwich. the sauce is a backup dancer… not Beyoncé. Now let’s get to the heart of the sandwich… The flame broiled beef patty. My biggest issue with fast food beef is moisture content and fake spicy. My worst nightmare is a dry piece of meat with that fake pepper in it. We all know this isn’t real pepper, people… We all know that this is some weird derivative of a thing that used to maybe be natural at one point… like artificial grape flavoring… it doesn’t even resemble a real grape. this weird pepper that they add to beef patties just makes me angry. This patty in my whopper was moist… I repeat moist… Moist…(I repeat the word moist in protest of people that don’t like that word because I think it’s rad… MMMMMMMoist) no fake seasoning… Because you don’t need it because the pickle and onion and the lettuce and the sauce is on fleek. As my friends just reminded me, I haven’t said anything about the bun. I think the reason is because when something is just right you don’t think about it. The bun serves two functions. One, to keep my hands clean, and two, to be delicious. If at the end of the whopper my hands are clean and I feel the sandwich is delicious the bun has done it’s job. Upon further reflection I will have to try another whopper tomorrow so I can go into more detail. It’s after midnight right now and I’m tired. I won’t talk about the fish sandwich my boyfriend ordered, which was also delicious. Since it’s not famous in Traverse City. But I’m convinced that the entire menu is done with care. All in all the best Burger King experience of my life. And also boo icky yucky fast food.
