Identogo

In the next installment of «You can Unilocal that?,» may I present a branch of identification services that partners with the TSA to get you on your flight quicker.
Yes, this is a TSA Pre-​Check station, along with employer-​mandated drug testing provider, FBI background check partner, and all around tough-​to-​find-​in-​a-​mess-​of-​office-​park-​mess service institution. After deciding it’s worth $ 85 to keep my laptop in the bag for the next five years of flights, my online application for the most non-​loyalty related preferential treatment you can find directed me here.
Don’t expect much — there’s an Aquafina vending machine and a flat screen in the waiting room running CNN headlines through the dayday. And that’s about it, which is good for you because the key things missing are… other people. Arrived an hour before my appointment and walked right in, as there was nobody on the docket in front of me.
Similar appointments for anything closer to the city had me looking four months out — I got this one same week. The actual process took less than five minutes, and I was out the door in time to scope weepy puppy owners with their patched-​up nuggets leaving the next door MSPCA Angell.*
*Actually, I got a hot dog from Costco. The heart wants what it wants.