Palace of Wonders

They make you pay $ 15 at the door and then the whole night is all about begging you for more cash. I’m talking nonstop begging.

The Palace is the best place in the city to get live entertainment that defies standard explanations. It offers what is described as Burlesque/​Vaudeville/​Sideshow performances, with an emphasis on the female-​empowering Burlesque dancers — many of whom are local gals trained in local workshops and venues. When mixed with mild Sideshow attractions and basic comedy/​magic acts, this provides a very entertaining and fun evening to all comers. For the usual prices of $ 10-​$ 15 per show, it’s the best ticket in town!

This establishment has now CLOSED since this review was written.
Ladies and Gentleman, step right up! The greatest show on earth is about to begin.
We have dancing girls. We have dancing boys.
We have folks that breath fire and women that will perform daredevil acts for you this evening.
We even have exotic burlesque ladies for your viewing pleasure.
Make no mistake, we are all freaks in this world and therefore ALL are welcome.
Act quickly and grab a seat close to the stage because seats go fast.
Get here early and see wonders and treasures of the weird, wild and strange in the showcase at the top of the stairs.
Come see what awaits you at the Palace of Wonders.

There’s no place to sit during a show. It will be crowded as hell. Parking is a bitch on weekends, particularly with the current construction. To say it is easily Metro accessible would be seriously stretching the truth.
It will also be one of the best casual theatre experiences you’ll be likely to find around, especially for $ 10. I’ve been very pleased with the shows I’ve seen here — a great mix of ridiculous and ruffly panties. Burlesque is tough to find up where I am in Baltimore, so it’s nice to have a reliable outlet for pasty-​type urges not too far away.
Drinks, in my experience, are poured generously. Tip the bartender well. There are advance tickets available for some shows but even with the discount, the service charge does not make it worth it. As far as I can tell, capacity is judged by eye, so I doubt if you arrived late advance tickets would make any difference.
It’s a must visit at least once, even for those who are uncertain about their feelings on striptease. Spikes hammered into noses, come on!

Last night, I caught a burlesque game show here. FYI– burlesque is definitely just a classy way of saying strip show. It was kind of awesome. Basically, we watched women strip and then the MC would ask the audience deeply personal questions about them (where they are most likely be found having sex, favorite sex positions, etc). We were even treated/​punished with a dance by the MC which pretty much just involved him getting wasted. Good times.
My friend Tina hit the nail on the head with the problem with this show– «Too much cottage cheese thighs». Indeed, while the women were attractive, their thighs could use a little toning.
This place is awesome. I definitely want to see some sort of freak show, so I will return.

Don’t care if this place is closed, I’m still putting in my review. Didn’t know what to expect from a burlesque house, but I definitely watched the Simpsons episode before I came here. We put the Spring in Springfield!!!
Let me just say, I was very disappointed. Saw one of their last shows — Grab My Junk! — which was a dude telling awful jokes and showcasing ladies that were just a few years past their prime. If you like seeing tassles on nipples, then this place is probably for you.
Not sure why this place was so popular. It’s a tiny stage that’s tucked away in the back left corner of a DC row house. The bar is on the right side and what would be some of the best views of the stage is covered by a giant staircase to the top floor (Oh did I mention some band was rehearsing while our show was on? I didn’t understand that at all)
No good place to watch the show unless you go right for the stage, but there are probably only 10 good seats anyways. I had a great view of a guy who probably stared in Creepshow 2 (Quote from the movie — «Remember that movie about that guy whose hair gave him all those superpowers? Yeah, well I’m better looking than that guy!»)
Bad view, bad show, old ladies with tassles, cramped, and really hot in there. The only highlight was when the host decided to get really drunk and put on his own burlesque performance, and that’s pretty sad.

I came to this place looking forward to see a cool freaky burlesque show! Well, what I found was a tiny narrow bar — at first i thought that the show would be upstairs? well no, it was all the way on the back — on a tiny box (because that is not a stage) with some stool chairs in front of it.
The show started late — and me and my friends decided to it was worth leaving to get something to eat than to stay to finish the show. Not like the show was awful… but food was definitely more important at that point.
Other than that. ambiance? Well. this is more like a bar for aged punks and hipsters. I guess an ok place if you live in the area, but this was not worth my trip from NW.

A place devoted to weird circus freakshow stuff?! Yes, please!
I went there on Friday the 13^th for the Dance Afire show — because I’m BOLD. What a great show! I mean, people were dancing with fire sticks! And there was a girl who hula-​hooped with fire. !?! It really doesn’t get much better than that.
Four stars for the fire show, it only being $ 10 to watch, the strong drinks, the cheap drinks, the relatively low number of people in the bar, the upper level with a great view of the stage and empty bar.
Minus one star because most of the oddities were taken out of the cases «during construction.» I didn’t see any construction. But, I guess that just gives me a reason to go back.

Trapeze artists, fire dancers, burlesque performers and a guy who actually hammered a nail into his face.
These are among the incredible feats of daring I have witnessed with my own two eyes. You would never even think something of this caliber was available in the nation’s capital, but I assure you, it is: The Palace of Wonders on H Street NE.
The venue itself has character in spades: «Freak show» paraphernalia line the walls, and you can even buy your own set of pasties from behind the bar (if you’ve got about $ 30 you’d like to drop). The whole place gives off the creepy turn-​of-​the-​century circus vibe, making it wholly unlike any other bar in the entire city.
Burlesque performances on Friday and Saturday nights get C-​R-​O-​W-​D-​E-​D, so get there EARLY. This is not a suggestion; this is a requirement.
Also, though I’m giving Palace five stars, I must note that the bathrooms are stuck back in the corner, making them difficult to get to, particularly on those crowded burlesque show nights.
However, it’s a small price to pay for a truly unique and entertaining evening.

Went for the burlesque, enjoyed so much more.
Palace of Wonders is kind of the bastard stepchild of the bar crawl on the block of H and 11−13^th, but it doesn’t make it any less fun of a place. Just the wandering around the area is part of the experience, as you may or may not see two places called «Danny’s Fried Chicken,» as well as a place to get your hair cut quite literally every other door, among the many boarded up and condemned addresses.
But when you get to the palace, for a $ 10 cover, gets you into a cramped and creaky little bar, where you can ostentibly enjoy some live performance. The beers are a tad pricey ($ 5 for a Miller High Life. . f’reals?), but after you drink enough, you’re convincing yourself that you’re supporting live performance or something like that.
But the burlesque act I enjoyed on the 5^th of June was wildly entertaining, and worthy of leaving a positive opinion in my mind. The bathroom lines were kind of ridiculous, but the performances on stage were wonderful.

Bouncer: There’s a $ 10 cover.
Us: $ 10? What does that get us?
Bouncer: I don’t know… boobs and shit.
Boobs and shit, indeed.
We ended up at Palace of Wonders by mere happenstance and didn’t really know what to expect walking in. I was unawares such a place existed in the DC area, but am glad to now know it does. We caught a burlesque show and even though it was supremely cheesy, it was awesome. I am definitely not cool enough to go there too often (I do live in Loudoun County after all) but it was fun to see something different for a change.
Do moules, frites and brews at Granvilles:
…and then walk a half block for the show. You won’t be disappointed.

I went on an off night, but had a really great time. Lots of interesting things to see, and the bartender was prompt, and polite. There was Chihuahua walking the bar — non invasive, and very cute. Although HUGE for a chihuahua. It was like a raccoon was wearing a chihuahua costume.
We watched some tv, and had a look around. Not much to see, but def a great spot. I don’t know that I’d want to be there when it gets packed… the occupancy read 99 people… and i just cant imagine trying to get a drink if its 2+ people deep. The stage is very low, but I’d love to come back and experience something nuts.

My greatest love in life is cult and kitsch. Freak shows feed my soul. Oddities make my heart sing. And burlesque… burlesque makes my body tingle like it’s been dipped in a vat of happy dust.
So one must ask — WHY THE HELL HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO VISIT PALACE OF WONDERS???
On paper, Palace of Wonders is everything that I have been searching for. All this time that I have been diligently trekking up to NYC each month to unleash my pent up kookiness, I had it here, at home, the entire time. Isn’t that always the case?
However, there are a few things going against the Palace of Wonders. First, it’s on H St in NE. Yes, I know, H St is the new U St, which is the new AdMo, which is the new Dupont and yada yada. However, H St is still on *this* side of shady. Which means, that it’s even more dangerous then usual, for a lone girl to go tromping up and down the street in a 4″ stilettos and an 8″ mini at 2 in the morning.
Secondly, the parking situation. We got there relatively early (9:30), so we were able to find parking on the street a mere ½ block away. There is the parking lot at the TrakAuto, but the signs posted made it sound like cars parked there will be towed — and the only thing worse then being a lone girl on H St in 4″ stilettos and an 8″ mini at 2 in the morning… is being a lone girl on H St in 4″ stilettos and an 8″ mini at 2 in the morning WITHOUT A CAR.
Thirdly, Palace of Wonders is tiny. Absurdly so. The venue is long and narrow, with the bar and the staircase taking up most of the space. The upstairs is much better, and there is even a LCD set up to show the stage by the bar so that you don’t miss a thing — yet, although Palace of Wonders is registered to hold 99 occupants (yes, I notice these things!), probably only 20 will be able to see the stage comfortably.
Lastly, somehow, the annoying hipsters and scenesters and any other type of «-sters» out there, has discovered this place too. The hipsters and scenesters, while annoying, can also be entertaining with enough alcohol. What can’t be rectified with more booze were the annoying drunken frat boys that weren’t even funny when I was young enough to appreciate such stupidity. *Sigh*.
But it’s a testament to the charm of Palace of Wonders that now that I’ve been there once — I will definitely be back! Despite all of the failings, the overall charm, the ambiance, the adorable outdoor upstairs patio makes this place a gem. Palace is not for everyone. In fact, a vast majority of my upscale yuppy friends will probably make me turn the car around once I get past Constitution Ave. But for those who adore the strange, the macabre, the weird from a time that science and modernity has long since forgotten — this is the place for you.

So bizarre. So great.
I really like this place. It has PBR, it has some better beers. It has a cat that lives there. It has taxidermied 5 legged animals and all sorts of pickled babies in jars upstairs. It has weird, wonderful sideshow art and colors.
As for the shows themselves, they are hit or miss. I went to the Skullduggery and Skin show with a friend of a friend who was in town from Dublin a couple of months ago. It was fantastic – Girl Friday is amazing. It was funny but fairly professional – the other shows I have seen there have been pretty amateurish. You can still have fun at them, but a higher quality show makes it more worthwhile. I wish these could be a bit more frequent.
It’s a little hard to get a good view here, especially for a shortie like me. But it’s not so bad, and they have a tv they broadcast the show on (very grainy) if you’re way too far back.
I have been a little annoyed that the crowd seems like it has shifted somewhat – more popped collar types (stay in Georgetown) and bachelorette parties. But I still end up having fun here, so I’m still a fan.

I decided to check this place out because I’m a huge Coney Island/​Burlesque/​Sideshow fan. The stage is kinda small, it’s hard to see what’s going on from quite a few places, but they do have some pretty good shows come through. If you really want to see a specific show, make sure you get there early enough to get a spot closeish to the stage. There’s a tv screen upstairs where you can watch the show from the bar/​tables up there, or you can watch it standing from the balcony.
Upstairs is pretty cool. There’s lots of weird stuff in glass cases to look at and a cool cat who tolerates everybody.
The crowd, though… not my favorite. Too many frat boy types. I guess you can’t really get away from that in DC.
With all that said, I’ve been to the place 10+ times and I’ll probably go back. Where else can you watch sword swallowers, fire eaters and burlesque in DC?
OH! Don’t pay for a cab from Union Station. Take the free H Street shuttle from Chinatown.

Last summer I spent a ridiculous night at Professor Sprocket’s Weirdo Show at the Palace of Wonders. The next morning I left Dulles and spent 22 hours flying from DC to the Philippines with my mom. I spent the entire flight obscenely hungover: struggling to sleep, throwing up, just generally unable to take advantage of international business class’s delightful amenities. My mom thought I was dying.
Palace of Wonders was totally worth it.

I have a friend in from out of town, and after we went to a great dinner at Granville Moores we thought we would pop in here to see all the «wonders» they had to offer. The décor as others have said it totally interesting and original. This would be a great place to go with people you don’t know well – as there are TONS of conversation pieces. From the «unicorn» to the «devil man» to the smallest US coins.
Turns out it was «Weirdo Show» night, and for a 10 dollar cover it seemed like it was worth a shot. This definitely was a non-​conservative side of Washington to show my friend. For the next couple hours we were amused (mostly) and amazed (at one point completely) by the acts. Magician, burlesque (WHOA, I wasn’t prepared for the tassels and faux hair down there!), fire-​eater, and then the most amazing and truly talented of all — the girl who does acrobatics on silk. She was great, made it worth the 10 dollars alone.
It was for sure something that now allows my friend to head back to Texas and say «I saw George W. Bush place a toy rocket over his privates and use it to stab a blow up version of the earth. Miraculous!»

My first outing to the Palace of Wonders was a sex workers benefit show for Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive (HIPS) last November, so the experience was even more assaulting to the senses than usual. The place was PACKED. My friends and I made our way upstairs, and much of the floor was consumed by a HIPS counseling and condom distribution table. But we squeezed into a decent spot along the balcony railing for a view of the raucous burlesque show, which was awesome.
I was also enthralled with the zany décor and wondered how long it must have taken the owner to acquire all the artwork and insane taxidermilogical pieces (if you love animals to a fault and are squeamish, pay no attention to the display cases).
A few weeks ago, the place crowd was not as crowded on a Saturday night for the recurring Skulduggery and Skin show of burlesque and magic, which was a total riot (long balloon swallowing included). Their show dog was an adopted, adorable mutt. Also, major bonus points for celebrating the talents of real women and not sexually deifying just the bland, waify types!
I haven’t tried the Palace’s food, and the drinks are standard bar fare (with PBR for the unashamed budget-​minded hipsters). The bouncers and bartenders are laid back. The restrooms are one-​seaters, but are surprisingly clean given the volume that pass through there.

If the workings of the world were left up to me, every day would be a day at the carnival and every weekend would be Halloween. We’d all go to our jobs as trapeze artists, lion-​tamers and belly dancers.
So I say, «GOD BLESS THE PALACE OF WONDERS»! You have brought a little slice o’ fantasy to this grey flannel, buttoned up, oh-​so-​serious city.
This place is Vaudeville, Kitch, Boho, Glam, Carnival (with a capitol C), Freak Show AND pub… all in one. I ventured in to see a friend perform in Thursday’s group performance, «The Weirdo Show»…and got an eyefull of some of the most talented, manic, wacko, energetic and amazing stage craft I have ever seen. Honestly, I thought I had died an gone to heaven as soon as I walked into the small, darkly lit, funhouse on a bender bar, complete with a extensive collection of Dime Museum and freakish artifacts (located up the bordello like staircase), and as if that wasn’t already tickling my vaudvillian sensibilities, the entertainment performed on that little stage sent me into complete sideshow bliss. I could almost feel the sawdust and smell the elephant poo!
The evening started with a bang and a pastie, emceed by the hypnotic Prof. Sprockett. Soon burlesque artist Shorstaxx stormed the tiny stage. She was followed by the duo of Dutch and Dupp, Magician extraordinaire Brian Wendell Morton (
) ((hey, he’s my friend… gotta plug the man!)), and then fire artist Malibu. After a brief break the show resumed with more burlesque, a feisty and fun girl dancing with a hula-​hoop to the Devynl’s «I Touch Myself». More Brian, and finally SilverRaven, dancing with a flaming sword and finally, spinning poi on that tiny stage.
I was beside myself with glee. The best part (besides pure circus food… hot dogs and popcorn), POW has a steady schedule of performances… all edgy, all year long. The place is about performance art and existing within a space that shares room with the old tradition of travelling carny shows. I’m still amazed such a place exists within DC.
A few tips. Palace of Wonders is located in a neighborhood that can be rough-​edged. Don’t be a hero, don’t travel alone and utilize the parking lot across the street if possible. Secondly, it’s a small space with VERY limited seating. Get there early for one of the two tables along the wall or a good spot at the bar. Third, bring a sense of humor, irrevence and wonder. If you’ve come looking for a «classy» evening… you’re going to be disappointed. This place is pure kitsch, and proud of it. They do the sideshow carnival atmosphere extremely well.
If you really can’t leave your desk job but dream of running away to join the circus, you really need to plan a visit to Palace of Wonders.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect on my first visit to the Palace of Wonders. I went on a Thursday evening to see — «The Weirdo Show.»
More on that in a moment. The place is a rather bizarre mixture of décor: a vaudeville and carnival atmosphere mixed in with a dose of some of those strange roadside tourist traps from the 1970s like «The Mystery Spot.» Throw in a dose of UFO sightings, monsters, and press clipping from the Weekly World News — and you have the Palace of Wonders.
The venue is one of those long narrow places — so the stage is rather awkwardly placed at one end of the bar. The admission price for «The Weirdo Show» was only $ 6.00, so I was not expecting much. My friend Brian was on hand to perform some bits from his magic act as part of the evening’s festivities.
We got a combination of short bits — consisting of psuedo-​burlesque acts, fire acts, magic acts, and some other silliness.
The bar had a decent selection of beers — and they also had Woodchuck Dark Amber hard cider — which is a bit unusual. Beers and ciders were $ 5.00 a bottle as I recall.
The Palace is located in a section of H Street that is a little seedy.