Hotel Mucha

I don’t have a ton of experience traveling. Not because I’m not interested in doing it, but because I’m basically perpetually broke and operate with mostly smaller scale splurges like makeup, food, and my apartment. You know, the essentials.
A few months ago I was joking around with my cell-​mate about our over-​priced, seemingly spider infested apartment that we could actually live in one of those super cheap motels for less money, and then we’d never have to cook or clean up after ourselves again. And like a typical cell-​mate, he told me to stop being lazy and asked that I just think about doing the dishes and cleaning up after myself at more frequent intervals. Hrmph.
Cut to today, we’re ‘on holiday’… Or as I like to call it, ‘on motherf*cking holiday, bitches!’, and staying in Prague, just a half block walk from their subway system, at the shabby chic-​ish, but mostly mega affordable Hotel Mucha.
Now, I did the math here, and for a measly $ 50 a night, we get hardwood floors, a room with a towel warmer, flat screen tv, desk, coffee/​tea in our room, a toilet with a separate button for #1 & #2 and free (and stellar) breakfast buffet every morning from 7am to 10am, and it costs less than our apartment back home. F*ck it, I say. Let’s just live here.
The only tiny issues would be the general language barrier, that I would have no job, and that the hotel has some very minor points (outlined below) that could be improved upon.
#1) Our room for two has 2 twin beds, so tonight I’m pretending in Dick Van Dyke and he’s Mary Tyler Moore. We’re one ottoman stumble away from a classic slice of Americana.
#2) Our room key is an actual key with a (no joke) wooden bowling pin attached to it, so you have to live with the burden of taking a virtual billy club with you every time you leave your room.
#3) The safes and blow dryer in your room, or at least the TWO rooms my friends and I occupied, didn’t work.
#4) Whisper to a scream. That song is the anthem for the hallways and vents here. It’s nice having the hardwood floors, but jeezus Louise-​us does that sound carry. Even a normal volume level gets amplified. Just pray that that other hotel guests are mindful and not up all night howling in the halls. On our stay, things were pretty peaceful at night, but during the day the hallway hustle and bustle was near deafening.
#5) Some rooms have full tubs and showers, our just had a tiny corner stall European shower. Now, I wouldn’t consider myself a fat American, in fact, I typically ring in well underweight for people of my height, but I def had to suck it in to slide into the shower. Like, picture someone trying to mimic a mammogram and squish one boob through the tiny sliding door crack, then rest of my body, my giant head, then again mimicking a mammogram for the other boob. Awkward… and made me feel dirtier doing than I even was before I took the damn shower.
#6) Front staff desk isn’t that friendly or helpful. They literally gave of the wrong information every.single.time we asked. It began to be a joke we had going that when they gave directions, we’d just do the opposite to get where we wanted to go.
Other than that, I’m liking this super affordable hotel within reasonable walking distance from bars, restaurants, entertainment, and public transportation that’ll take you to even more of that other aforementioned gods stuff. Plus, again, they have that pretty stellar complimentary breakfast from 7−10am. Worth the stay on it’s own.