Re-set

With any pizza costing just £2.99 we decided to risk the all to obvious e-​col warnings and venture into the amusingly named ‘RESET’ takeaway.
The first thing we noticed was the price. There were four of us and we went for the deluxe meal that was any two 11″ pizzas, 2 x chips and 2 x drink for £6.99. That’s cheap. We presumed organic and free-​range products had not been used.
The service was nothing short of horrendous. There was just one very irate man running the show and he clearly hated working there along with every customer who dared to order any salt-​infested swill from him. If he wasn’t the most miserable bastard in the known universe then he was surely at least a podium finisher. His attitude spoke volumes and he clearly had all the drive and enthusiasm to serve us (or anyone) as a fat kid does to going to an after school gym class. When he’d completed the pizzas for the customers before us he simply threw the box on the counter and walked awayleaving them confused to if that was for them or not.
After a good five minutes of ignoring us he finally conceded that we weren’t planning on leaving and dragged his putrid carcass over to the counter.
As well as being rude, irritated and oilier than a kipper swimming near a BP oil rig he was also phenomenally bad at his job. Like really, really bad.
We originally asked for the 14″ meal deal to which he informed us in a series of grunts that the 14″ pizzas were unavailable we have no idea why though. One of us then asked for the four cheeses pizza to be told that cheese wasn’t available. No cheese? In a shop that sells pizza? When we did finally choose some pizza toppings that he did have available he then forgot them. He asked us probably five or six times each to repeat our order whilst simultaneously then getting it mixed up. It was only four pizzas. A pen and paper would have solved this taxing problem.
After ignoring us for another ten minutes he finally got to workwhere upon he continued to forget our order and had to refer to the large customer menu to see what he was supposed to put on them. He also insisted on using his hands to fill the deep fat fryerin fact the entire hygiene level of this culinary slum was very questionable. Lot of ‘stuff’ seemed to get dropped and picked back up and reused. I tried not to lookinstead using the ‘if you don’t see it then you don’t get diarrhoea’ tactic.
In fairness he did have other things on his mind. Whilst trying to fulfil his epic four pizza order he was simultaneously involved in a heated argument with a very shady character who we think could have been part of an Eastern European protection racket. The man, who I daren’t look at for fear of being stabbed in the neck or eye, slyly drifted in and out of the shop frequently demanding ‘the key’ and trying to get behind the counter to steal property. In the end he bullied the elusive key off our grumpy assistant to a barrage of child-​unfriendly expletives.
Finally, after what seemed like four hours of waiting in a gruelling war zone, we were hurled our four pizzas and fries. What about our drinks? one brave member of our gang dared to askto which we were glared at and then eventually presented with four cans of warm pepsi. Errcan I have orange? Again we were scowled at like we’d asked him to have a showerhe wasn’t a people person for this very reason.
After getting our ‘food’ we pegged it to a safe place far away.
The food? Actually the pizza wasn’t too bad at all for the price. Wouldn’t win a Michelin Star. The fries were okay and the can of pepsi soup pretty awful. He did manage to get the order wrong though the fungi pizza didn’t have any mushrooms on it! Good job he asked half a dozen times.
Would I go again? Probably not. The food was okay but I value my health too much. I’d rather not get stabbed waiting for some food that could easily then give me dysentery.