Square

Following the temporary closure of my usual Saturday/​Sunday/​Mid-​week football haven (the Etap hotel bar), a friend suggested our crowd should ponder along to Square for the Leeds vs Tottenham FA Cup match.
I’ll be honest, Square had me fooled.
We arrived five minutes after kick-​off; the place heaving, the atmosphere charmingly frivolous, and the drinks cheap. Oh, and the commentary was in English (of course). So after handing over a few pennies, and necking a few bevvies, we left with satisfied (and possibly drunken) smiles.
So, under the pretense that history would repeat itself, I led a group of friends (quite smugly) to watch the Manchester derby at Square. How long do you think it took for my smugness to fade? Correct.
Although there was only a solitary table occupied, the only table that had a view of any of the television screens (about six) was, as you can probably guess, that one. So after ordering drinks and sitting at a table looking like a group of violinists in order to see round various pillars, Niccolo Paganini (a famous violinist) went back to the bar to request that the commentary could be turned up, and Right Said Fred to be turned off. Forever.
Respectably, the waitress obliged, only to the annoyance of the leather-​doned bald man stood at the bar drinking Appletini.
As Niccolo came back to sit, he was followed by the new-​found enemy of Grant Mitchell, who told us the commentary would be in Swedish. It took us a good fifteen minutes to realise that the waitress wasn’t joking, after we collectively heard Martin Tyler sing a verse of Super Trouper.
Right Said Fred and Abba set aside, the drinks are reasonably cheap, the building is aesthetically pleasing, but the overall experience is tragic.

My friend brought me here when we were meeting some of his friends from home before going to what was then Townhouse.
It was a far cry from the place we were going to and tacky just isn’t the word.
Full of a loud, boisterous clientele and cheap alcopops and lager, you get the picture of what this place is like.
This place really needs a good refurb and changing completely. The place is fairly big so it has potential to become something better.

Square was one of those places that I hadn’t really heard of on my first jaunts out in Leeds, and didn’t fill me with fire when a group of friends suggested it should be our meeting point. I walked in and noticed that the carpeted floor was, tacky, not in swirly print sense, but in the oh-​dear-​my-​shoes-​are-​sticking-​to-​the-​floor sense. The atmosphere was, well, bleak, and when I went to sit down, I had to wipe off my seat, and the menu was sticky. I guess you get what you pay for, it wasn’t offensive per se, the food was a reasonable price for what it was, it wasn’t anything amazing, but at a fiver per head or there abouts, it wasn’t anything to rave over or cry about.
Summed up in one word — meh… I could take it if I wasn’t being fussy, and I could leave it without being heartbroken.
Being a group of girlies and chatting about everything from late afternoon to early evening, we noticed that things had changed dramatically as we broke from our natterings.
The outlook was still bleak, but it was now louder with people shouting over each other and various post pubescent males were learing loudly over scantily clad (one hopes legal) teenage girls. If you wanted attention at the bar you had to play it up to the opposite sex. Girls with the most flesh on show were served first, and the pretty boys with the heaviest bling got the attention of the barmaids.
Despite the two big burly bouncers outside, two fights broke out, one near the stairs of the, erm, pungent toilets, and another near the window tables. It took a while to break up, but it wasn’t by the bouncers, but more to the cries of «chill man chill» from friends, and a couple of the bar staff.
Square is one of those places that’s ‘alright’ for a cheap pre-​night out drink, but I’d escape before the 8 o’clock mark if you want your outfit to remain beer-​stain free, and if you’re female, before you get an unasked for pat on the rear end. *shivers*.

I suppose in an area that yearns for a bar with a little more class and character, you can’t really expect a place like Square to offer up much in the way of charisma. It’s sort of a poor man’s Yates I guess, which in some ways is better than some. But at least, if you care to water there, you’ll have plenty of cheap alcopop and lager deals to console you once you’ve been ingurgitated into the place. And I think you will need them.
I guess mostly the theme here is, is that the clientele this particular bar attracts is not exactly what one might refer to as the most refined sort. A friend once took a job here glass collecting and my, that was an experience, to say the least.
I remember going along to meet her after work and being accosted by two men within the space of five minutes. She finished her night with bruises all down her side, from the receptacle with which she collected said glasses having been shoved against her one too many times. She quit that night, and so did I. Except, I felt rather miffed since, I wasn’t even paid to be there.

Come in here by day and it’s a perfectly acceptable, if a little bland and characterless, venue for a quick drink or some cheap (microwaved) pub grub. Come here by night, however, and you won’t be allowed to leave until you’ve acquired at least five phone numbers, vomited tequila down your top and snogged a bloke called Steve. This may or not be actually true, as I’ve never stayed long enough to find out, but the terrifying numbers of scantily dressed women and men in polo shirts who flock through the door come evening time are enough to send most sane people running for the door. They run plenty of ‘fun’ themed nights like beach parties and have offers on things like alcopops and spirits, which should tell you just about everything you need to know.

I’ll always hold Square close to my heart. It was the first bar in Leeds city centre that I managed to get served in, aged 17. I think that probably says a lot about the place.
It’s location means it will always get customers. But, is it the type of customers a reputable bar wants? I guess, if they’re paying ones. However, now, a little older than those first 17 years — I wouldn’t go to Square, even for some grub during the day. I know there’s a lot better on offer elsewhere in the city centre.
On a night, who’s to say? Like I say, it’s in a prime place for a swift one, on the way down Boar Lane. I know there are better bars, but after a few, I’m easily persuaded.

the old peel was better in the seventies

this place is full of chavs. thats it, you cant really say anymore.

Although on a weekend it can become packed with large groups of girls and guys on nights out during the week this place is nice and quiet with a great curry night and reasonably priced drinks deals, including their cocktails, although the mint mojito is horrible lol. Wednesdays are karaōke nights and are not for the faint hearted.
The toilets are situated down a flight of stairs which can cause plenty of problems if you have drunk too much.

Ick. Chav-​fest. Proper, proper minging. Sticky tables and carpets. Only go here if you’re so drunk you won’t remember.

This placed used to be a great place when it opened and I’d spent many a night in here when I was younger, and now its a dingy hole thats in desperate need of a refurb. I went in a few weeks ago on a Saturday for a quick pint before heading home after shopping and its full of horrible screechy hen nights wearing L plates and other such tacky hen night gear. If you like chavvy type places with girls in tiny skirts then you’ll fit right in here.