Smyth Patterson

Smyth Patterson has a little bit of everything. It’s deceptively huge inside, and the rooms and areas lead off to each other like a rabbit warren.
They do furniture of every kind, bedding, china, giftware, kitchen essentials such as fridge freezers, kettles, toasters, blenders, utensils — and a nursery department with everything for newborn babies and children.
Also offered is a wedding list service, so if you are starting out in setting up home for the first time, you could get your list made up for pretty much everything in here.
Most of their stuff is pretty good, however one thing I noticed, is that their furniture isn’t great. The furniture put me in mind of years back when I was only tiny, and my grandmother used to take me visiting to my great-​aunt and uncles houses, it was all terribly old fashioned, and not in an antique way — so if you are over 70, then this is the place for you to kit out your crib!
Another thing I couldn’t help but note was the price, even for basic items such as kettles and toasters, you could certainly get the same brands cheaper elsewhere.

There’s absolutely everything for the home in Pattersons. First dive is into the kitchenware where you’ll find the rather more expensive but longer lasting, better investment kitchen equipment of saucepans, Le Creuset cooking pots etc before ploughing through the lighting department, bathroom section, beds and bedding, pictures, furniture, ornaments, toys… everything you can think of really. You’d need at least an hour to do the shop justice. I just didn’t have the time. There is a wedding gift service, indeed you could equip the house from Pattersons at any stage in life.

Gosh, the memories I have of being trailed through this place when I was younger. Yep, right through:
The household department, with everything from kitchen cutlery to refrigerators (and a particular favourite of my mum’s, who at one stage decided everything in our kitchen should be green… even the bin) or…
The furniture department, covering every aspect of your furnishing needs, or…
The carpet department (where we spent many a boring hour choosing a floor covering. I’m scarred for life) or…
The bedding department (the ‘rents were on the look-​out for Stag furniture) or…
The giftware section, with the china and glassware (yet another favourite of my mum’s — we have everything from Royal Dalton to Waterford Crystal on display in our house).
You can understand why my parents loved it, and my sister and I didn’t. It was «boring», to put it in our words.
Oh, but wait! I almost forgot…
The bright light at the end of a very long, mundane tunnel. That little ‘something’ which kept us going and gave us an element of hope.
The toy section!
That’s better…