Al-Mirage

Oh my god I have never, ever been treated so poorly as a paying customer in any establishment I’ve stepped into. Please never come in here if you would like to be treated with any semblance of decency or respect, or just as a human being.
The first time I came in, I enjoyed the food so much that I came back for dinner the next day. I was perplexed why they seemed so empty during dinner. My second visit indicated why. The quality and taste had noticeably dropped. The first day, I had the lamb bhuna, Bombay aloo (potato), and chicken biriyani. The lamb pieces were succulent and tender. The chicken was soft and moist. And the flavors of the potato were perfect. The second day, I had the lamb rogan josh. It was dry and chewy. The channa daal was fine, but did not live up to the previous day’s potatoes. And the lamb biriyani, which was pretty good, but the lamb was a little dry. I’m not sure what happened between dinner time one day and dinner time the next day. Perhaps the chef changed?
The first day, we paid with card with no problem. The guy brought the credit card machine to our table and everything was smooth. The second day, we were told to pay at the counter. I gave my card to a portly middle aged woman in a headscarf. She scowled as she mashed buttons, looked extremely confused, and shook her head in frustration. She handed me the machine and told me to enter my pin. I told her that my card had no pin, and the machine wasn’t asking for it anyway (it said «authorizing…» on the screen). She snatched the machine back, cancelled the transaction, and started yelling at me. «All cards have pins!» My boyfriend calmly explained that we used a card yesterday and no pin was needed, and suggested asking the guy who handled the transaction the previous day, who was in the dining area wiping down a table. The woman snarled, «He doesn’t have magic fingers,» and continued to verbally abuse us. A receipt printed out (obviously the card worked, as we knew it would) and she thrust it at me and told me she needed my signature. I told her sure and waited for her to give me a pen. Finally, I had to ask her for a pen. She then started screaming at me because I didn’t have a signature on the back of my card. I explained that my bank (Bank of America, which issued the card) doesn’t require you to sign the card — indeed, the card doesn’t even have a place for a signature on the back. She argued with me, screaming in a raised voice, causing a scene, and told me I was ignorant. I held up my government-​issued ID, which did have a printed signature, and said she could verify it that way. She demanded that I write down my address in case my signature was not verified. I literally had to grab the pen, write on my card to show her that it was plastic and was not designed to be signed, and repeat my solution by verifying with my ID. After some more rude and snarky comments (e.g. just ask any bank… Can’t believe you… Etc.) she just accepted my signature on the receipt and fell silent. Perhaps she realized how completely crazy and obscene she was just acting.
In any case, the food was not nearly good enough to justify that kind of verbal and emotional abuse. Even the quality of the food is shaky from day to day. It’s a shame, whoever crafted that first meal was a talented chef. But I cannot in good faith recommend this restaurant to anyone.

Food was good for its price. Lots of Pakistani/​Indian locals dining there. Had a naan, two starters, a lassi and two curries for 20quids (had tonnes of leftovers). Grilled paneer was a bit cold but still tasty (paneer’s texture was great), chicken tikka was a bit dry. Curries were ok — rich and spicy. Had better naan elsewhere. Service was good. Will go back again but not in a hurry.

Came here with a couple of friends who have just moved into Tooting and are checking out the local curry houses, of which there are many.
Premises were canteen like but very clean, service was excellent and friendly, and, most importantly, the food was top drawer. The recommended starter — Al Mirage fish — was succulent with a beautiful spicy crust. For my main, I had the balti lamb jalfrezi which was divine. Milder than most jalfrezis I’ve ever had, but incredibly flavoursome. The lamb was lovely and tender, something you can only achieve with good ingredients and excellent cooking.

A great palace if you want good wholesome Pakistani food. It is a muslim restaurant so no alcohol is allowed — bit the taste of the food more than compensates! The grilled meats are always recommended as they are just amazing! Quick service and Great Food at amazingly reasonable prices!

A sign in the window proclaims: Who needs Brick Lane when you have Upper Tooting Road?
There are indeed a lot of Indian/​Pakistani/​Bangladeshi/​Sri Lankan restaurants along Upper Tooting Road. However, there doesn’t seem to be the variety as found on Brick Lane.
I have to confess that I’m not a local and may not be eating at the best restaurants but so far, I’ve only had mediocre food in Tooting. I chose Al-​Mirage because the waiter was very friendly and came out to talk to me.
Sadly they didn’t do a thali. Dining on my own meant that I could only sample a few dishes. The lamb bhuna was nice but not outstanding. Perhaps the best thing on my visit was the freshly squeezed juice.
My search goes on. I’ve heard good things about Lahore Tandoori so that may be my next trip in Tooting