New Docklands Steam Baths

I’m a fan of unusual & weird places and I would says that the New Docklands Steam Bath is definitely high up on this list. I’ve first heard about this place when I was telling a friend about my wonderful experience at the Turkish «Hamam» in Dalston. My friend listened attentively to my story and then told me about this place in the docklands… I started doing some research about it the very same evening.
Let me preface the following paragraphs by saying that I really like going to saunas: I treasure the whole spa-​like experience that goes along with it. Yet, I’m not a fan of the high-​end spas that have popped up everywhere these days. I prefer the down-​to-​earth saunas where locals go and where you don’t have to save up for months for a single visit.
The New Docklands Steam Baths fit this bill perfectly: upon my arrival I already sensed that I had discovered something unique. The bath is located in a very much deprecated area; many Londoners probably wouldn’t set foot here. Outside the place I saw many black cabs parked as well quite a few Mercedes. Once inside I found my way to the café-​area where the register is. I paid £14 plus a £10 deposit for the locker key.
I went to change and dressed up in my bathrobe and my pechtemal (a traditional Turkish towel used in hamams) and then I ventured down into the baths. And let me tell you: it’s gritty down there: not in a dirty and disgusting way though, but because of the kind of characters you find there and the way they interact with each other.
I first walked around and familiarized myself with the localities: two dry saunas, and various steam rooms with varying degrees of humidity.
While doing my online-​research about this place I came across an article, in which the author talks about the two main sauna traditions being nurtured here: The Russian tradition of ‘Venik’ where you first heat up in the sauna and then beat yourself (or each other) with oak or birch branches that have been dried first and then soaked in water. And then there’s the Jewish bathing ritual of «Schmeissing», where the men take turns in scrubbing each other down from top-​to-​bottom. This is done where one guy lays down on a bench in the very hot & steamy room and the other guy lavers him up, using what looks like cleaning mop and it works like a giant shaving brush.
The «Schmeissing» seems to be a very ritualized and cliquish undertaking. I was talking to a regular, who mentioned that these guys are a club and meet regularly. According to my source, there’s even a pecking order and it’s quite hard to become part of this club.
The Russians or Eastern Europeans seem to be less organized, but during my visit they would all arrive in pairs or small groups. They would all wear these funny felt hats, which protect the hat from the intense heat. (Note to myself: I need to get one of these!)
When I arrived I was reading about the possibility of booking a massage. My inquiry with some of the locals resulted in the following answer: «Yeah, talk to Simon, the heavily-​tattooed guy who’s relaxing in the steam room over there.» Non sooner advised than done. I went up to Simon and he told me that he’d be happy to give me a massage in about half-​an-​hours time. Deal! I made the best use of the 30 minutes and went into the hottest sauna and beat myself up with oak branches…
Turns out that Simon had actually grown up in Germany and so we chatted in German for some time. Then he suggested that I should just relax and let him do his work. It was really a very nice massage and I felt great afterwards. I paid £15 for a thirty-​minutes massage. (60 minutes would be £25.)
Aside from the Jewish and Russian men, there’s a third group of men here: the can drivers (my guess). They mostly sat in the common area, chatting and washing themselves ritually. It’s really a funny bunch that hangs out here… including myself!
All in all, I find this to be a wonderful oasis of some old-​world London. I’m so glad that a place like this still exists. I might not become a regular, but I will certainly be back!