The Underground Restaurant

what a FAB way to spend a sunny Sunday! SUPER fresh produce that were all in-​season and really flavorful. started with a delish puttanesca, then to the AMAZING whole sea bass stuffed w/​lemon & herbs (crazy that the fish was the cooked perfectly considering the amt. of ppl and the fact it’s hosted in a house) served w/​fennel & blood orange salad, ending w/​a huge cheese platter from Neal’s yard w/​St. John’s bread & rhubarb fool. everyone had empty plates after each dish.
sat outside to enjoy the sun and ms. marmite was such a fab host. her dad was so cute too helping her host. best 30GBP value for food in London thus far.

Well it’s always nice to hear from a chef or owner of a restaurant that the reason you didn’t like their food was due to some personal fault in your taste buds.
Ms Marmite messaged me to ask me «[d]o you actually like vegetarian food?» and whether I was another negative reviewer on the Time Out website who took similar issue with the poor quality of the food at her underground restaurant. Well to straighten her out: (i) that reviewer on the Time Out restaurant is (unfortunately for her) just another unimpressed attendee, (ii) I love vegetarian food though I always find the distinction a little irrelevant as I love good food, be it leaf, root or muscle. Vegetarian food should be judged by no other standard than whether it is good.
She also accused me of having no «idea how much that costs?» to cook for 45 odd guests and charge them money. On the same vein, on the Time Out website she states «none of the ingredients I use are cheap». On her blog she states «[t]he dinners are my only income at the moment as it has become a full-​time job. I have a child to raise. I don’t make alot of money from the dinners. I keep prices low». Well I might not be a professional chef but I have some understanding of how restaurants work. She receives upwards of £30 a head multiple times a week. I highly doubt she pays tax on her income (due to the illegal nature of underground restaurants), she uses volunteers to staff the restaurant (to the extent that she pays them I presume she doesn’t pay national insurance, sick pay or a pension) and has none of the base costs of a restaurant. Indeed, she has none of the expectations one has of a restaurant. Late food, sloppy service, bad food are all somehow to be tolerated.
As a cheaper example, on Sunday night, I went to a great Turkish restaurant up on Green Lanes. It cost me under £25 a head including alcohol. The food deserved to be covered and wrapped in superlatives. Ms Marmite’s food deserves to be covered.
What I found interesting is that she plays the PR game so expertly. She has positioned herself as the arbiter of underground restaurants. Whenever the press need a lazy article, here cometh the Underground Restaurant. The recent kerfluffle about TimeWarner asking her not to infringe Harry Potter copyrights amazingly got into the press (one can only wonder how) and generated her acres of coverage and perhaps even press fees.
The problem with all of this is that no one approaches her restaurant with a properly critical eye. It is far far easier for reviewers to focus on the novelty of an underground restaurant and the new socio-​economic context (i.e. recession) within which it operates. That is why I love citizen reviewer websites such as Unilocal,you actually get a layman’s opinion of what they had then/​there. Untainted by the fluff of PR or the need to generate press. For a demonstration of that read the review of Hix’s new restaurant in Soho now and go there in two months. Consider if your experience is the same as the reviewers…
When she complains that «it’s very hurtful and personal when someone comes to your house and then posts anonymous comments» all I can say this is a world she embraces and asks to be paid by. Don’t court press and publicity and cry wolf when it doesn’t turn out the way you want it. Don’t review other underground restaurants on your blog and then email me separately snide comments about them such as her review of Lady Gray’s high tea: «As for Lady Gray’s tea, I personally couldn’t stand the stifling atmosphere there, and thought her savouries were poor».
Finally, and for the sake of disclosure, she offered me my money back. To that offer, I paid for the experience, I learnt my lesson, I wouldn’t ask a bad restaurant for my money back, I won’t ask you.