Visions Video Bar

This is definitely the place to go if you find yourself in Dalston asking, «Where can I go to dance to pop classics in a tacky basement with sticky floors while drinking vodka out of a plastic cup?»
If you come here with your own group of friends to do some serious drunken boogieing, you’re guaranteed to have a blast that is so ironic, it’s not ironic anymore.
You won’t even mind the random single leery man attempting to scalp emotionally vulnerable women on the dance floor. Because you are not one of them, no. You love the nightlife. You love to boogie.

Brrrraaaaaaaaaaapp! This is what I am talking about: one easygoing club playing topnotch tunes from my youth.
Came along for their ‘Work It’ club night which rotates with the venue Concrete in Shoreditch.
Seriously love the atmosphere at this place, and that you can come utterly cool and casual on a Saturday night. Had all the old school hip hop and RnB classics to get yo groove on, and get it on we did.
I mean seriously who needs to do a spin class when you can sweat your ass off to great beats with your mates for a £5 entry fee.
Ok, so it gets way hot downstairs, and sweat is literally dripping off the walls and off peoples’ bodies everywhere you turn, but come on when you got ‘Jump Around’ by House of Pain shaking up the dance floor there’s no other thing to do then to get involved!
Complete euphoria and throwback to good times gone. Re-​live it. Love it. Peace out.

Dalston, Dalston, Dalston I have a bit of a love /​hate affair with the place. Visions is not very good at all really but because of that it attracts too many people who want to have an ‘ironic’ night out which is a shame for the local folk who actually enjoy it here.

Great spot for late night boogie and drinks!

L-​o-​v-​e i-​t.
This place epitomises Dalston. Intmidating gangsters, mixed with Indie kids in head-​to-​toe Oxfam. Getting patted down on the way in for weapons obligatory. A slight air of fear, and a lot of good dancing, and style.
Its often luck whether this place is open or not and what night it turns out to be. In my case it was a grime night.
The drinks list (mid-​range brandy, champagne, and whiskey) was scribbled ona piece of white A4 paper in chunky black marker, which was pretty funny.
Its designer or vintage only and no-​one is over 26.
Definitley coming back.

One very curious things about Visions is that it is VERY easy to mix it up with Barden’s Boudoir on entering. Especially if you have just twigged (albeit too late dahhling) that the ‘cool kids’ all hang out in Dalston and London field these days; the heady days of the archetypal Shoreditch Twat and Nathan Barley are over. Come East, my friends!
Anyway back to Visions and why, incidentally I think it’s fan-​effing tastic: Reason one — no ‘door aggro’ from overzealously frisky doormen. They’re friendly. They smile at you without being lecherous. They even remember your name! Reason Two — the bar costs next to nothing, not that I was drinking anyway that night but still good for everyone else to know. NB: if you’re on a booze free night; the orange juice is doable but not great boo Reason three — and this is one helluva reason — CLUB JOLENE. It’s a CRACKER.
I should mention that at this point if you are not a lesbian, the below may have relatively little interest to you, although I am assured that they do a load of other indie and eclectic music nights for my heterosexual brethren too; so worry not.
What I love most about Club Jolene, which was the night on which I went to Visions, was the fact that it respresented the reason that I had started going to straight bars in Hackney (for the music, man), so now I can listen to electro, alt rock, indie, and random Dolly Parton inspires classics until I fall asleep in a corner somwehere and hang out with ‘the girls’ at the same time. Ace. Also, it appears to so far have missed being infected by the dreaded ‘cool club curse’ whereby the moment a club gets seen as a ‘go to’ location, everyone starts acting like snooty tryhards (a la George & Dragon, circa 2005), destroying any enjoyment you could have reaped from going out there in the first place. Furthermore, Dalston seems to have a web-​like network of house parties, meaning when you go out to a club like Visions, the fun needn’t stop at 3. Oh yes.

Before the long weekend, I was invited to go to some West End bar with my boss. I laughed, and declined. He then said «Oh right, you’re probably going to spend all weekend listening to italo in some disgusting East End bar with a bunch of degenerates.» Well, he wasn’t wrong.
I’ve seen crack houses with more ambiance than Visions Video Bar. The floor is partial black and white linoleum like some early ‘80s trailer home. There are no less than five TV screens, all showing the bouncing DVD logo all night. The mixed drinks are served in plastic cups and taste like rubbing alcohol – instead of vodka they serve Glen’s which is basically just paint stripper. It’s also a total hotbox if the place is jammers. Dress code is scruffy. If you went here on a night that you weren’t into the music, there wouldn’t be much else to save the night. Be warned.
So why am I giving it 4 stars? It’s got a really good vibe and a great, enthusiastic crowd, which counts for so much. The bathrooms are shockingly large, clean and have paper all night.

I like lots — east end indie boys on mass with dirty duff duff music that on a Dub step night makes my arm hair wibble (and no i’m not that hairy its just really deep).
Bit of an institute with the ‘Dalston-​dirties’, you get your drinks in plastic cups and can get lost in the alpine extravaganza that is the bog. Seriously don’t go here before 11.30pm — you’ll be the only one in there standing out like a sore thumb, like all those awkward school discos when you were a kid. I like this place but it is for a certain crowd, if you like main stream then avoid as this could be your sort of hell.

Ah Visions; I’m shocked that no one has mention it before!
Visions is an inconspicuous club in the basement of a building in Dalston, jammed between a newsagent and a fashion store. you wouldn’t know it was there were it not for the smokers crowding outside.
Apparently Visions has been open and trading for in excess of 18 years, but it’s recent infamy has been achieved by the monthly night ‘Work It’, from the guys in charge of moustache bar. This is basically a 90’s revival night, where they play everything you danced to at your school disco. Perfect for the generation of ‘Born in the 80’s’ kids fleeing to the capital now. Amazing fun, though it is like a fashion parade at times. Oh, and it’s open until 4.30am — nice!
On other nights, there’s definitely a more West Indian vibe, with chilled out reggae and roots music. A great late night venue, if you, like me, want to go and hear «Only love can set you free» and pretend to be twelve again then I’m meet you here next Saturday!

I recently spent my birthday at Work It (a monthly 80s and 90s hip hop night) at Visions. Hidden away in an underground video-​bar on Kingsland Road, the club is crowded, hot and stuffy but SO much fun. The music varies from week to week but you can rely upon r&b pop classics such as Return of the Mack and Regulate that fuel a fun crowd until closing time.
The drinks are reasonably priced– £5 for a double rum and coke– and the toilets are surprisingly clean– almost reminiscent of a sauna. The queues can be crazily long and so its a good idea to get there towards opening time– around half ten.