Golden Garden

NOTES:
~ This review is based on delivery ONLY. I haven’t experienced what it is like actually dining at the establishment.
~ Free prawn crackers on orders over £15
~ Free bottle of coke & prawn crackers on orders over £30
Okay, I got delivery from this place like… 1 fucking day after just arriving in Wales from San Francisco.
Yes, San Francisco — the home of the biggest Chinatown outside of Asia itself. With a yum cha establishment and boba milk tea shop every street corner. I’m also Chinese, so you can probably guess how much Chinese food I’ve consumed in my lifetime.
I’m telling you this, dear reader, to explain to you why this review might be difficult for me to write because I’m comparing my experience with Golden Garden to the best shit you can get in the Western world. I really have to work hard to make sure I am constantly remembering that I have to try my best to rate this place in comparison to other Chinese takeaways I’ve had in Wales previously. It’s pretty fucking hard, let me tell you. If this shit was in my hometown in the Bay Area (aka the Chinese mecca), I would be rating it 1 star. However, after re-​consideration and comparative analysis, I’m giving Golden Garden a 2.
Food:
What we ordered:
~ Crispy Aromatic Duck (Quarter) £7.60
This dish is considered to be a Chinese classic. It comes with thin pancakes, hoisin sauce, cucumber, and spring onions. You build it yourself, and end up with a perfect balance of flavours. In terms of taste, it definitely wasn’t bad but I feel like it’s maybe a bit pricey for what you get. Additionally, the whole point of the duck being «crispy» is for the crispy skin. However, there was no skin at all (completely removed), which was disappointing.
~ Dim Sum Steamed Basket (2 Har Gao, 2 Siu Mai, 2 Steamed Dumplings, 1 Roasted Pork Bun, 1 Coconut Bun) £8.10
Props to Golden Garden for doing dim sum, which to be honest is a bit rare in Chinese takeaways in the area. If you’re new to the holy grail known as authentic Chinese food, I highly recommend starting off with some classic dim sum. This sampler makes for a really great way to explore flavours that you may not have had before (don’t worry… it’s not that adventurous). However, a bit expensive for what you get but I guess with the rarity of good dim sum in South Wales they can get away with it.
~ Beef Crispy Noodles £5.30
Also called «Jian Mian» in Mandarin, I believe. Not crispy at all and a tad bit bland.
~ Roast Pork Fried Rice £5.30
Not bad. I quite liked the mesh of flavours, although I found the rice to be a bit dry.
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Extremely overpriced for what you get in my opinion. I’m willing to pay these extortionate prices for a trip to a really authentic Chinese restaurant if I’m missing Chinese food too much. However, these prices for a restaurant whose quality just passes the «edible» bar isn’t for me. Like I said though, I bump it up 1 star for comparison. It’s not like there’s much competition in the area and props to Golden Garden for making at least some semblance of effort at authenticity with the dumplings.
Chinese good is fucking good. Westernised Chinese food with 2-​dimensional flavours??? I’ll pass, thanks.