Tesco Express

I like sweets. In fact I have something of an addiction. They’re one of my few vices. I don’t smoke, I’m fairly anti-​drugs and I do try and take care with alcohol, although this doesn’t always go so well. But sweets are something that I turn to when stressed. You won’t like going to the cinema with me, I spend far too long with the pick n’ mix.
So imagine my horror when I discovered how badly designed this place is. A Tesco Metro, sure, they’re useful to have on every other corner, but not one whose sweet aisle is impossible to stand in. They have banished the sweets to the narrow corridor through which you travel once you’ve completed your purchases. After being brushed past by ten people with bags I gave up my hunt for Rowntree’s Randoms. It just wasn’t worth the hassle.
Refrigerated wine, nice, good offers, lots of varieties of sandwiches, all great. But I’m still focussed on that ridiculous sweet aisle. Are you in cahoots with that stupid Change 4 Life programme, Tesco? Is this your way of getting people to avoid sugar? Come here and receive a well-​deserved slap around the chops, you traitors. I’m not having any of it.