Moka

There are two cafés here within a few yards of each other: La Mocha, inside the Ashley Centre on the ground floor, and Moka which lies mainly outside. This review is for Moka.
The corollary to the «decent but inexplicably empty» restaurant phenomenon is the «dreadful but inexplicably busy» establishment. Moka falls squarely into the latter category: we visited on the assumption that a café so evidently popular must have something to recommend it, and left feeling decidedly disgruntled.
The service was both slow and perfunctory. The prices, for a café, are high. The food was dismal. The décor was fine, I suppose, but that’s not much of a saving grace. We haven’t been back since: I would genuinely prefer to save my money, skip lunch and go straight to dinner.
So why is it so busy? I really don’t know. Perhaps we caught them on an uncharacteristic off day. Maybe most of their customers just have a cup of tea and avoid the food. Or it could be that Moka has one of the few sizeable outdoor seating areas (i.e. smoking areas) in Epsom town centre and there are enough hungry smokers to keep them open.
Whatever the reason, I can only conclude that if customers are not put off by the establishment itself, they probably won’t pay much attention to this review either. Perhaps the best I can suggest is that you try it yourself, and document your experience with a Unilocal review.

Occasionally, I pop into Epsom town before work to go to the bank or get some essentials. In return for dragging myself out of bed early, I usually spoil myself with a hot breakfast.
My Chinese Thrift Gene (CTG) had been pushing me in the direction of McMuffin meals at the McDonalds on the 1^st floor of The Ashley Centre.
However, I had always smelt lovely smells coming from the breakfast bar section of Moka, a café located in the sunny central atrium on the ground floor. So, one day, my Chinese Quality Gene (GQC) overrode the CTG and I ordered myself an egg and sausage bap. My CQG was on a roll when it spotted a machine for automatically squeezing oranges and I paired my bap with a large glass of freshly squeezed OJ.
Well, the bap arrived with a generous amount of sausage and the egg was perfect with a gooey yolk. I had mine with brown sauce and like any good bap, there was a degree of goodness squishing out of the bap with every delicious mouthful. The fresh OJ was perfect to wash down the calories and make the meal feel vaguely healthy!
I’m afraid the GCQ wlll trump the CTG in the future and I shall descend that extra floor for my Moka breakfast bap