In October, I took a week off from the stress of being unemployed and came to visit my parents in the Panhandle. My dad had two elm tree stumps in the backyard he wanted to get rid of. I beat on those stumps for three whole days with a dizzying array of tools. Pickaxes. Axes. Saws. Drill bits. Baseball bats. Cease and decist orders. ICBMs. Hammers. We even broke dad’s 40 year old steel bumper jack. That was just on the east stump. We never even got to the west one. And the east one is still very much alive. I just called this Home Depot. They rent chainsaws for $ 43 a day. Merry Christmas, Dad.