Little Caesars

Yeah, I go there and I like it. Sue me. Where else can you get this much food for five bucks and enjoy minimal human contact when all you really want is to go home and watch Biggest Loser while hoovering up some pizza? In a perfect world, there would be a drive/​thru at the Moreland location and I wouldn’t have to burn off 2 calories getting out of the car. For that, I’d pay another dollar.

I always call ahead to get the ICB (Italian Cheesy Bread, duh) and they usually have it ready for me by the time I get there. The ICB is so great. The place is clean enough and the service is usually quick. Just what you expect, hot, cheap, pizza, fast. pizza-​pizza. I’m not that crazy about their pizza or their sauce, but their ICB is another delicious and garlic buttery story. Yum.

Gross pizza, made us sick. I should have known being that Little Ceasars is one of the top 10 lowest rated fast food restaurants. I went back with the rest of the pizza and asked for an $ 8 refund because it made us sick and was refused. Save yourself a night on the toilet and go somewhere else.

I am exposing myself for the white trash I really am with this, I guess. I tend to avoid admitting I like Little Caesar’s in mixed company, because it is so universally popular to hate. «It’s not pizza,» you all say. Ok, but it’s what I thought of as «pizza» growing up, because it was the cheapest and thus all we ever ordered. The ratio of cheese/​bread to sauce is high, meaning there isn’t much sauce. I actually like this. And the sauce that is there tastes mostly like spices and not much like tomato. I also like this. The crust is just a slightly golden browned and crunchier extension of the pizza. I also like this — normal pizza crust was always disgusting to me. (Papa John’s is my second favorite because they had the dipping sauce, making the dry, chewy/​mealy crust tolerable as a vessel for garlic butter).
«The crazy bread tastes like some kind of rubbery sponge,» you say. Ok, but a hot rubbery sponge slathered in butter and parmesan = delicious. In fact, as a child, Little Caesar’s crazy bread is what I always pictured as what the «manna» from heaven must have been like. Plus, the rubbery sponge puts the CRAZY in CRAZY bread… it’s CRAZY that rubbery sponge tastes amazing, but it does!
I was 9 weeks pregnant and feeling gross, on the way home from a road trip at night, and suddenly a vision of a delicious Little Caesar’s pizza and a greasy bag of crazy bread danced through my consciousness. MUST HAVE.
Michael was like, ok, whatever… I might not have very much, but we can get it. He knows better than to argue with such cravings.
To my delight, google maps showed that there was a Little Caesar’s FIVE MINUTES AWAY FROM OUR HOUSE. Why I had never been aware of this, I have no idea.
Apparently I am not the only loser who wants such deliciousness at 9:45 PM on a Saturday night. The place was relatively full. I only had to wait about 5 minutes (as accurately stated by the young woman who took my order) for a hot cheese pizza and crazy bread right out of the oven! I ate lots and my pregnant self did not throw any of it up.
The end.

Called in my order. Came in they had to charge me 2 different transactions Because she forgot my bread. Then was charged for a crazy bread combo when I didn’t want the sauce. Got the bread home, it’s was hard as a rock. Like a buttery slightly warm rock. Ridiculous. Wow.