Bernadette’s

It’s closed =[

Back in my Hai Ky days, one of my coworker’s boyfriend’s band was playing a show here, and she invited me. Seeing as how Hai Ky in Westlake is fucking dead on Saturdays, I figured I should make an attempt to be social so we could have something to talk about during a day when we get like 5 customers. Sometimes we would work out with wine bottles. Sometimes I would practice my Spanish with the cooks. Anyway, she invited me and I said yes.
So my boyfriend and I spend like 800 hours searching for the place and finally find it and it is divey and dirty. I love dive bars with everything in me, but I honestly could never love the place. It is so grimey! I instantly wanted to be hosed down with hand sanitizer, or febreze, or hospital grade disinfectant. The beer was cheap, and there wasn’t really a selection to be honest (when I can’t tell what’s available I always get Lone Star), and they serve 40s. I am not against 40s whatsoever, in fact many of my nights are hazy with the sweet memory of a Mickey’s in my hand, but I’m not going out to drink a 40 at a bar. My friend’s crew brought liquor, and played pool in the back room that had a couch, but I didn’t dare sit on it because it looked crusty. The outside was alright… long picnic style tables, so you have to hop over it as classily as you can while wearing a dress.
His band eventually played, and the place gets loud, quick. Overall, I had a good night, but this night would have been a million times better in another bar. I hate to say it, but I feel like other bars are actually taken care of. I felt so anxious the whole time I was there, hoping I wasn’t contracting anything.

How have I never heard or known about this place until this weekend? The only reason I even found out about it was my friend had a show with his surf band that I didn’t even knew existed! It was a huge swirl of mystery and intrigue. Upon investigating I saw it was a gay dive bar. Wow, once again. Those exist? Thankfully, I google mapped this place and saw the actual photo and even then I nearly missed it. If you have ever heard the phrase «Hole in the wall» used in reference to a bar, this is totally the photo in the dictionary. As soon as I parked my car I thought to myself «What am I getting myself in to?» As soon as I walked through the door I felt like I was 22 and transplanted back home. When I say I was transplanted back home, I mean this place is a total sh*t hole. I say that with love though. Recently, I was complaining about how it feels like there’s no real underground music anymore given with the internet and all that. I miss going to shows at random places and seeing bands playing in front of 20 – 30 people and there’s no stage and it’s all just energy and electricity. Well, I found it. This place is a total nod to what I grew up with. Beer and wine only and pretty cheap to boot. $ 3.50 for a PBR tall boy. Just because it’s awesome seeing a show in a place like this doesn’t mean it’s going to sound good. In fact, it sounded kind of shitty for the most part. I love that though. I’m definitely going to be keeping my ear to the ground for shows here.

This place suxxx, if your are a hipster, douche, clueless, or slumming it for the fun of it. For the rest of us it is the best. The owner is one great lady. The patrons are diverse as you can get. And the only hassle you will get is if you come with a bad attitude and tons of dogma to project onto others. transphobic, racist, homophobic, classist folks need not bother. No douchebaggery allowed.
Come on in give it a twirl, put some neko case on and tip the lovely lady behind the bar.
p. s. if you worry about a mosquito bite, stay at home and bathe in deet. You are in Austin ffs, clue phone on line two… there are musquitos everywhere here.

The diviest of all dive bars in Austin… and that’s sayin something! We showed up on a Wednesday night completely randomly to a deserted bar. That will change soon as I hear they’ve got karaōke starting each Wednesday (to be confirmed by yours truly…)
I love dive bars. Their smell, the surly bartenders, the cheap beer and this was no exception. They even had a pool table that looked to be in decent shape.
When I say dive bar, I mean it was crusty with split chairs and a dusty dance floor. The lights in the refrigerators behind the bar dont work so you have to peer through the gloom to see what they have. And seriously, don’t order wine here. Not that you should do that anyway.
It’s BYO with cold beers and all of the aforementioned qualities. I’ll need to check it out on a night thats crowded to get the full measure of the place… though I would hope that next time the AC is on so it’s not as sauna-​like.

I went here for a show/​party over SXSW. Yes, it is impossible to find and I’d never heard of it so I figured I should see what all the fuss was about.
It is dark, it is dirty, it is a dive bar. I was worried about contracting something from the can of Tecate I bought. I dropped a quarter on the floor and didn’t even consider picking it up off the floor, that appeared to be more grime than linoleum.
There were old bras hanging from the ceiling that seemed more misogynistic than friendly to me, and some sign on the bathroom warned «only 2 sluts allowed in at a time.» Whether this was a Rush Limbaugh reference or actual misogyny, I am not sure, but who likes to be called a slut even if in jest making fun of a buffoon? Not me, and there’s no way I was going to use the bathroom anyway.
The band sounded pretty terrible and the musicians outnumbered the patrons 2:1, and were running about an hour behind. I was hoping to get there just in time for the band I wanted to see, but they were only just getting set up when I was three-​quarters through my Tecate. The furiture was all broken down and dirty, the analog TV flickered with «The Shining» which was way better entertainment than the band. There is a point of «dive,» then there is a point of sad, which is where Bernadette’s is, maybe even a little past that.
I got bit by two insects, hopefully mosquitoes and not fleas or horse flies. Have you ever hoped you’d been bitten by a mosquito? First for me too. Left after the second insect bite, a quarter of Tecate left in the can, a quarter left on the floor. It may be «queer-​friendly» as others have said but they go so far as to make it unfriendly for anyone else.

Not easy to find, and that’s a good thing! I’m lucky to live about a mile from this awesome place. It’s a queer dive where everyone is welcome. Good times on the dance floor with friendly and fun people – cheap beer and it has set ups so you can bring in your own booze. I went to Bernadette’s for the first time recently, and I plan to return frequently.

A hidden oasis of a dive bar! Cash bar only!

Not all of us are made for Rain or Kiss and Fly, and for those people there is Bernadette’s. This is possibly the best queer dive I’ve ever been to (including Chicago, Philly, Madison): queers representing a wide range of locations on the spectrum of gender presentation (and SUPER trans friendly), early 2000’s hip hop (Ciara, Missy), cheap beers. There’s an outdoor patio for smokers where most people hung out (I’m a quitter so I only peeked out so as not to be tempted), but plenty of people inside too. I just can’t rate this place highly enough. Can’t wait to go back on my next visit to Austin.

If you can find Bernadette’s without directions, you don’t need this review. If you can’t find it, you probably don’t want to be here.
Not an ounce of pretense or posturing. Queer-​friendly — a warning against a range of prejudices and potential issues is obvious when you walk in, including the humorous ‘tipophbia’ (be nice to your bartender!) — and in fact everyone-​but-​the-​intolerant friendly. Indoor and outdoor spaces and a worn and comfortable setting.
I do not ever (ever!) let my hair down and dance, but I felt comfortable doing it here. Pretty loud when the DJ got going.
Beer only and cash only: $ 5 for two Lone Stars.

the best dive bar ever. don’t go there unless you are queer friendly and are going to tip more than 50 cents, k?
also bring a bar to hang on the ceiling.

Great bar.