The Phoenix

Douchebags delight! This club caters to the loser-but-I-think-I’m-cool crowd. We walk in, music booming, and within seconds, we see a drunk moron tackle — not one, but *two* — girls on the dancefloor. Literally. He picked one up, tripped, and three went down. With that, we headed for the door. Classic.

2 stars for décor, that’s about all it deserves. Came here around 12 on a Saturday. The place was empty. There was a DJ playing, but s/​he must’ve been high out of their mind, never touched a mixer, or both. Oh, and you’re paying NYC prices in Texas (I live in Manhattan).

We were planning a friend’s wedding afterparty and as plans go, the day before the wedding the guy from the club we booked told us that they weren’t going to be able to accommodate us because some NFL player was going to bring his party there instead… yep…
So in panic mode, we started calling around to clubs where we got a lot of, no we can’t do that for you, no we won’t offer you this. etc. Mind you we were a party of 80 – 100 people who were opening a no limit bar tab! You would think people would be bending over backwards for that. We called The Phoenix and they hooked it up! We had our own bar and sitting/​lounge area and they even played the music we requested! The review is 4 stars because we did have a few problems with them not checking wristbands and giving some free drinks away to stray patrons, but overall we had a fantastic time!

I really, really want to like Phoenix so much. The Décor of it, is completely awesome. They have this Posh look of red velvet and old Oil painting on the walls mixed in with a vampire like Gothic scene. It really awesome looking and its roomy. You can have your own seating area but if you are not going for a whole night of bottle service and not willing to spend hundreds of dollars its not worth going to.
The people that I have met there through a friend, were really nice when my friend was there. Otherwise if I stopped by alone, they have been very stuck up and like I said Posh to me. I do not appreciate at that. Even the type of crowd that it brings in at times are horrible. Everyone is stuck up wanna be rich gold digger type attitude. The whole Fake Barbie Doll/​Ken look is there for sure.
The prices for drinks were out of this world… I have never paid 7 bucks for a beer and even for the wells. Are you kidding? I know you want to make your money but come on?
The times I had gone, the DJs were horrible and could not mix worth anything. I’ve gone to support friends with their shows but jeez… this club is just not worth it.
I want to love the Club for the Décor but it has nothing going for it.

I’m not a huge dancer, but I had a good time at The Phoenix. The dance floor is small, but surprisingly adequate, even when the place is packed. There are a lot of banquettes and seating across the sites and back of the lounge. If there is no VIP party going on, I bet this place is awesome! The drinks are pretty inexpensive (always a plus in my book), and the DJ has a good mix of music to play… he reads the crowd well. The one thing that’s not great about this bar is that it’s a little bit outside of the city center, but it’s still a fun time if you have cab fare for your ride home.

The Phoenix is named for the remorse and suffering that will be born out of the ashes of money that you have to burn at this place to get anything.
Went for the first time during SXSW 2011… and that will also be my last trip. Here’s why:
$ 7 Dos Equis
$ 8 Wells
$ 1 *TAP WATER*
They charged a dollar for a small glass of water when they had already charged me for an incredibly weak vodka drink. I ended up just refilling my water in the bathroom sink, which leads me to the next issue… Bathroom attendants. In Austin, having a bathroom attendant is about as desirable as having a second butthole on your forehead.
The benches on the side aren’t for sitting. They’re for people who may be coming in to order bottle service. You can imagine the huge line of people lining up to pay $ 250 for a bottle of Titos (cheapest liquor on the menu, it goes into the 4 figures as well)… There’s a staff member who will force you to move for sitting in one of these highly-​coveted spots. I understand that some spots may be reserved… but when the seating wraps around the ENTIRE ROOM and no one is sitting at 9pm, I think it’s kinda rude for someone just to kick you off the seat right away.
The bartenders were cool. They spiked my drink when I told them it was weak, and in general they were pretty quick and helpful.
The prices, seat nazi, and weiner watcher in the bathroom are reasons to never, ever return.

Super douche-​tastic bar. I only went because a friend from out of town was there for her sister’s birthday. The drinks were overpriced. They had bottle service at the tables (tell tale sign of a douche bar) and when someone ordered a bottle they would bring out a sparkler too basically to announce to everyone in the bar that some idiot spent too much money on alcohol.
Oh also, we went on a cold and rainy night, so everyone had jackets — we found this ledge thing to hang everyone’s jackets on and then were informed rather rudely by the strippers… I mean dancers that we needed to move our coats. I saw no signs of a coat check either.

The Phoenix is the 3^rd or 4^th rendition of another guido-​tastic venue at this location. I really don’t even want to go into depth about how terrible this place is so I’ll put it in bullet points… essentially, don’t go here.
— overpriced drinks
— it’s a ed hardy clearance fashion show in here
— slow bartenders
— (here’s the worst) shady door practices. these people will give you all sorts of excuses as to why you can’t come in ranging from dress code to «private party» to all sorts of things so it’s really hit or miss as to when you can get in… this isn’t Vegas.
— they have go-​go dancers (which is cool) but the muscle milk! guys in extra tight shirts get their testosterone too high and frankly it makes some of my lady friends uncomfortable being around these creepers
There are much better venues in Austin to visit on a Saturday night… and even if you love this type of atmosphere, there are better venues for it.

This place… total mixed bag.
Love the ambiance and décor. Big oil paintings in gilt frames? Go-​go dancers? Check and check! Banquettes for even the non-​bottle-​service peons like myself? Check!
The DJ they had last night, though… he was inconsistent. He had some good songs queued up, but he would play 30 seconds of a great song and let something stupid play out for five minutes. And mixes weren’t always smooth– I heard several trainwrecks and we were there for about an hour and a half at most.
Bar staff is not particularly warm, but it’s obviously a volume business not a relationship business.
Also, they need a damn coat check. It’s big enough, they can spare a few yards of space for a coat check booth.
And, last but not least, I have to admit that coming here makes me a little sad because it used to be the Alamo Drafthouse. Not sure this was really an upgrade…

If you like:
Pretentious snobby clientele
Drinks priced as if Paris Hilton was paying
Bartenders who say you’re welcome when they greet you
Bottle service prices that could feed a family in Africa for a year
Then by all means come here!

I’ve been to The Phoenix two times, both for private events hosted by the same group.
good:
ambiance. Nice décor and furniture. Too bad they had to wipe the grime off the furniture at the beginning of the event. Too bad the floors were so sticky our shoes had to be peeled away. Too bad that all the cleaning supplies were «stored» in the third sink the the ladies’ room.
bad:
service. ONE bartender for an RSVP/​ticketed crowd? 30 minutes to get a drink? WTF? When the other bar staff arrived, it was obvious that 6pm to them meant to START working at 6pm, not be ready to serve at 6pm. That’s why at 6:40, they were still bringing in the freshly emptied trash cans from the night before. LATER: TWO bartenders, but the 2^nd one took the back half of the line and had them «cut» in front of all of us instead of taking the next person in line. Um. it’s a 6pm Wednesday night event. People will listen if you say «next in line». They aren’t drunk — gawd knows that wasn’t possible at this point — and don’t need to be herded like sheep.
prices. $ 5 for a bottle of Shiner. I hear their table bottles are $ 375. LOL!
crowd. pretentious. The two dolts in front of me who knew of the «line to the stairs» and still ordered complicated martinis and other mixed drinks deserve a special spot in the line for the bar in hell. For the sake of the 50 people behind you, please just get a simple drink and move on!
DJ/​sound. For the LOVE of all that is MUSICAL, turn the volume down to a reasonable volumee during setup! Your obnoxious feedback and setup sounds disrupt the networking time. We don’t all need to hear cables connected – and the feedback that ensues – at 120db. Better yet, do this stuff BEFORE the guests arrive! Treat us with a little respect.
I’ll probably never go here on my own… and I certainly wouldn’t pay to get in on a regular night.
Maybe it’s fitting for a visit from the cast of «Jersey Shore — Austin» when price isn’t a consideration and when the snooty crowd is a bonus.
I’d love to see the event move to a more «real» venue that will attract a more Austin-​worthy clientele.

This place was alright. It was pretty busy with people all over the place. Everyone seemed to have bottle service, so they were doing pretty good.
The bartender had no idea about any of the drinks that we tried to order. That was annoying. She kept asking us what was in the drinks… About 7 or 8 drinks later, we ordered some generic drinks and she got those right away.
I liked how they had random girls dancing around, kind of annoying though… when they bend over and say «I’ll let you slap my ass, if you give me a tip.» Really? Are we at a strip club now?
I like the theme of the club with the red velvet. That was pretty cool.

I was here for SXSW and saw a few fantastic bands at the Phoenix.
Cute joint. Great place for a show.
They play up the bordello theme: Red velvet, leather couches, candle light, an oil painting of Baccus, The God of Wine, foreboding-​dimly lit chandeliers…
Lot of standing room, big dance floor, and scantily clad waitresses with beautiful bodies selling their sexiness to your eyeballs.
Drinks are PRICEY! 5 Bucks for a beer? I’m in friggin Austin for God’s sake… I thought I left Los Angeles?! …but, hey, it’s all about the ambiance.

Okay, I get it. Create a space that outwardly appears classical and mannered. A place that celebrates human endeavor through renaissance art and portraiture from the comfort of lounging sofas and chairs under warm lights and chandeliers made warmer by red curtains. You enter ceremoniously through black curtains at ground level and ascend Persian rug covered stairs, as if to an alter. But is that climb up the stairs for worship or sacrifice? The concept, ironic as it would appear, bridges the appreciation of human achievement through art from well appointed comfort to celebrating the moment and self indulgence.
I got this immediately when we stopped in here the first time. And I will say it worked. It was Thanksgiving weekend. A lot of people were out of town, and bars and clubs throughout Austin were slow. I took that into consideration my first time at Phoenix. The crowd that was there were, well, you know how the 4^th and Colorado scene is, but still the vibe was okay. What caught my ear was the DJ. I had not heard music like this in a club in Austin for some time. Let’s just say the music was ON! It reminded me of the best clubs I visited in London, Berlin, Barcelona, San Francisco, Miami and Austin during the time when we still had good DJs. It was that good! Until he played Shakira.
But I have a personal rule, that I always give a place a second chance. So last night after B-​Scence at the Blanton we headed into town. Sometimes where we go depends on where I find a parking spot. We found a spot close to 4^th and Colorado and we immediately began the elimination process. Since Phoenix was close and it was cold we walked through the black curtains a second time. As to the elaborate club concept I described above: maybe that’s what I believed this place was going for, it certainly felt that way. This time, though, it was anything but that.
It was dead. They were having a sorority party towards the back behind a velvet rope. Yeah, wanna crash that scene! Maybe I had more to drink last time, but I was pretty sober when we walked in last night and I saw things differently, probably clearly.
We ordered a Bay-​Breeze and the bar tender asks, «How do make that?» We told her. She was nice enough though, probably working the tip. So she doesn’t feel bad about not knowing how to make the drink, I share my anecdote where the Bay Breeze is the one drink I order that always seems to catch bar tenders off guard. I go on to ask if she knew how to make a Sazerac. «No, never heard of it.» I say it’s believed to be the oldest known cocktail, and that it was made first in New Orleans during the 1850’s, and it’s made with Rye Whiskey, Absinthe, Angostura bitters, some other stuff, and you have to muddle something…
She asked what Rye Whiskey was, and then she said we don’t muddle anything here. Okay.
The Bay Breeze was weak and two of them cost $ 18.
Then my wife asks,“Why is it so quiet in here? Is there a DJ?” The bartender said there was a DJ, and blamed the low volume on the cold weather. We shot each other side glances that mirrored our collective, «Huh?» This from a person who says during the day she’s a teacher?
What music we did hear was 70’s/80’s disco and soul, which in and of itself is not necessarily bad if mixed well, but it sounded like a tape your kid brother put together in a half hour. And, oh yeah, the cold was affecting the volume.
I guess the cold is why the bartenders, (all female) were wearing parkas and jackets over corsets and midriff bearing, undersized tube tops. You would think at $ 9 for a weak-​ass drink, bottle service, and hosted functions, they could afford a little heat for their staff at the very least.
We were out of there within 20 minutes.
The space is appealing and that is why it gets two stars. Concept clubs, similar to what Phoenix strives to be, can work, but you need many things to pull it off; primarily people should want to be there. From what I experienced on my second visit and what I know of Austin, they do not want to be at the Phoenix.

I went to a concert here last weekend and I was totally dissapointed with the club. I think it’s hilarious that they renamed it and kept everything pretty much the same as it was when it was Pangea.
First of all, all the couches and tables are reserved for bottle service which is ridiculous. Austin is not the kind of place for this kind of club, especially when the ambience and set up is really poorly done. All one needs to do is go to a real club in Las Vegas or L.A. to know that Phoenix doesn’t hold a candle to a real, high-​end night life. The business owners certainly don’t know their market.
The dance floor divides the club in two parts, VIP and regular seating, and is very small. I went during the Kascada concert and found the dance area tiny and the VIP much too large. It takes up half the club!
I am a very experienced clubber and I will never come here again. I like a hip, fashionable club once and a while, but this just doesn’t do the trick. Avoid the high drink prices and unfriendly service and enjoy the Bellmont instead.

I would probably give it 3 stars if I did not come to a show. I am used to going to DJ shows at light bar, but this one was different. The interiors are really beautiful… yes, the same as Pangaea before, but maybe the owners should get the hint to lose their pretentiousness in Austin the second time around and maybe the club will last longer than 18 months.
As for enjoying the show, it is a nice step up from the Light Bar as a venue. Drink service was not slow. Yes, the drinks are expensive but it’s a nicer venue. That staff was also nice and not snobby at all. They didn’t seem to restrict anyone… people were wearing tennis shoes and break dancing away… it was a fun night. I would go back, but only to see a show.

If you want to see more on the Phoenix experience, look up the reviews for Pangaea. The Phoenix is Pangaea with a different paint job. Nothing changed except the interior design. The same Pangaea owners are leading the Phoenix in the same direction. Same owners, same over priced drinks, same sneaky automatic tip charges, same Panagea attitude, same shallow Pangaea traits.
Advertising for the Phoenix includes the phrase «Be Beautiful. Be There», with this disclaimer: «Dress code restrictions are at the discretion of Phoenix management and pertain not merely to articles of clothing; but more importantly to style and execution.»
Austinites torched the once mighty Pangaea brand name, so the owners had the idea of changing the name to the un-​original «Phoenix». Get it? «The Phoenix» is rising from the ashes of Pangaea. Or maybe the owners just wished they opened this bar in Phoenix Arizona, instead of the Austin town that closed down Pangaea in 18 months.
The Phoenix gets 2 stars instead of 1 for making the reserved bottle service section smaller than Pangaea. The owners hoped that Austin would have more rubes and tourists to be suckered into buying overpriced bottles, but the concept never took off here, so they made the section smaller.
Have you seen the «Don’t Dallas My Austin» shirts? Well, «Don’t Phoenix My Austin!»

Spent several hours here Thursday night, and I’m still neutral.
Staff– very nice! After reading all their «Be there. Be beautiful.» bullsh*t on their website, I thought they’d be a little more pretentious. Or wait… was I actually beautiful that night? Hmmm… maybe I DO like this place. :)
Drinks– a little pricey, but strong enough to make it worth the money.
Décor– honestly, the place was SO packed I didn’t really notice.
Sound– GREAT! (though the layout was strange… DJ booth is in an unusual place right up against the bar… but at least we were close to the bathroom!) This leads me to another point:
Bathroom– warning: it’s one of those really annoying ones where you are offered every product under the sun and then guilt-​tripped into tipping someone for handing you the stupid paper towel you could have grabbed for free. I HATE THIS!
Overall, it’s ok. It’s their ability to pull amazing DJs that will keep me coming back for more.

My girlfriend and I have a little drinking game we like to play. Along the lines of slug-​bug but with Affliction/​edhardy shirts and instead of smacking each other we play for drinks.
Totally immature, I know… But we enjoy it. It’s kind of a shiny shirt drinking game.
I’ll put it this way. Whenever we step into Phoenix, we have a lot of drinking to do.
I’ve had many experiences with Pangeaa which is now Phoenix and I’m not a fan. Drink prices are out of line and often include gratuity without telling you, owners are not friendly, etc.
Way too much attitude for Austin if you ask me.

Ugh. Striped-​shirt-​joint-​lame. This places used to be Pangea, which was equally as lame. Before that it was Alamo Drafthouse, which was awesome but moved, and that’s cool. Now it’s another dance club with try-​to-​be-​hip décor. Red velvet walls with gigantic religious paintings? I don’t want angels watching over me while I dance.
Sound is good though. Drink choices are awful. I love it when the darkest beer you offer is Shiner and you charge me Import price for it. So expensive to import that from a few towns over.