Crown Fried Chicken

This place deserves only one star on a regular day, but if you catch it open when you’re completely wasted then it’ll earn 3 stars. That’s why I gave it two.

Ordered a few late night snacks last night. Sweet potato fries (but they gave me regular fries), cookies and cream cake (got cheesecake instead), coleslaw (threw it away after 2 bites), and a spinach roll (only good thing I ordered). It got to me quick, probably cause it’s just down the street from me. Overall I was satisfied enough for 2 stars because it did make a good late night snack even tho my order was wrong (was too lazy to even call and tell them) and the coleslaw was weird. Also I got to pay with paypal through grubhub when I got it delivered, that was convenient.

Nice owner. I’m usually satisfied by their service but not this time. Do not order any of their salads. It’s a rip-​off! Their definition of a salad is lettuce, cucumbers, pickles and onions. Are you kidding me? For $ 6, I deserve a whole lot more ingredients.

I kinda hoped this place was one of those diamonds-​in-​the-​rough, but no, god no. The food is very bad, the service is very bad, it is very bad. Bad pizza, bad chicken, bad vibes.
BAD.

I was very drunk.

The place looks terrible from the outside with bullet proof windows and a menu a hundred items deep. Needless to say, I was a little nervous to try Crown Fried Chicken after living in Crown Heights for a year, but at a party a friend of mine told me that I was missing out on some of the best food in Brooklyn.
So I caved this morning and ordered 5 pieces of chicken, fries, a coke and a spinach and cheese roll (that came highly recommended). It took a good fifteen minutes for them to process my order, but I had high hopes for what I might expect. I quickly rushed home and tore in.
Now, several hours later, I really, really, really wish that I had just stayed away entirely. I could only muster one piece of chicken before my stomach started to go sour. The rancid taste of death is still filling my home. I think the grease they use in the frier is bad, or perhaps that is just the taste of boiling sadness.
I grumbled for a while and then, ultimately, I couldn’t take it anymore and spent the last 15 minutes vomiting up what I could of the meal. This was quite literally the worst food that I have ever had in my life.

Not bad at all. This is the first place I ate at when I moved in, and I’ve gotta say, their chicken gyro was my main source of nourishment for a solid week. Yeah, it’s not super healthy, but it’s a fried chicken joint, you know?
Their fries are decent. Nothing to write home about. I haven’t tried their fried chicken yet… but, I’m telling you, the chicken gyro is where it’s at.

Alright, I’ll admit it – I like gross food. I eat Mcdonald’s and love it, I like deep-​fried everything, and I keep food in my shoes, just in case. That said, Crown Fried Chicken is the Mary Kate to my Heath Ledger (is it too early to joke?). Fine, the Mary Todd to my Abe Lincoln.
Before I discovered Crown Fried Chicken, my diet consisted of Lunchables and malt liquor. I now have an unhealthy, but delicious mix of burgers, fish & chips, gyros, ice cream, pizza, and of course, the poor man’s beef – chicken. Crown’s cornucopia-​like menu takes close to 5 minutes to read, but I’m a slow reader (I still haven’t finished The Outsiders). The only thing the menu is missing is pasta, but who eats pasta anyways? That died with suffrage.
My father told me that laughter is the best medicine, but since he died of dysentery, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that Crown Fried Chicken is the best medicine.

I’m oddly obsessed with this place. Everytime I stay in Brooklyn with my sis, i have to go to CFC. I have no idea why. The chicken is so greasy, i can’t even say that it necessarily tastes good. I get the stink eye when i waltz in there, probably because i’m looking at the shop in utter amazement and confusion. Satisfy late night greasy cravings at CFC. You’ll be back in a few days.

I say HOT DAMN! I was on the C back home, and I peeped this spot ever since I moved to Brooklyn. It’s like fried crack! Nice and salty enough (and not too much), with the right amount of fry time. Didn’t leave me feeling queasy, as much over-​fried food tend to do, from oil and the fries just right. Cheap, tasty, and leaves you in a MUCH happier state. Forget sleeping pills, EAT MORE FRIED CHICKEN!