Enid’s

This is literally the worst restaurant I’ve ever eaten at in my entire life. I was actually laughing when I left, because by that point it had achieved cult status in my head.
So it’s raining hard and I duck into this place because I can’t make the extra block to my usual. I look around. Not promising. Pastries in plastic clamshells. Weird color scheme. Pseudo-​scientific (and I say this as a massive environmentalist) claims about juice all over the walls. Menu says they’ve got burgers and fries, so I ask
«Is the beef grass-​fed?»
«Hmm. we don’t actually have the burgers anymore. Or the fries, or anything made of chicken.»
«So. the salads then, is that it?»
«Yes.»
“Okay, I’ll get the Caesar Salad.“
I sit down. A minute later, he asks me what kind of dressing I want on my salad. It’s a Caesar Salad, right? You only got one choice with that. Ah but the kicker is, he is out of Caesar dressing. Fresh out, just remembered, after he started making it. Okay fine, I’ll take Italian, let’s just get some food here. I see a cake on the counter. Hey, what kind of cake is this? *I don’t know*. He actually doesn’t know. He has to go get someone. «Sweet potato cake». Okay, seems tasty enough, let me have a slice of that too. I sit back down. A few minutes later, they hand me a paper bag.
I look outside, see it is still raining, decide to eat there. Open the bag. The Caesar Salad consists of spinach leaves, carrot shreds, and bag croutons. It’s a side salad basically. You know what? It’s not too bad, as side salads go. I’m fine, I’ll eat it.
I take out the cake. It’s not the cake I ordered! I didn’t even call it by name. I pointed at it. I’m the only person in the store, and they gave me something else. Two employees were standing there when I pointed at it. Neither one of them said to the other «That’s completely not the cake he was pointing at. Just go back to the place in the store where we were when he pointed, and look at the spot he pointed at. That’s how you’ll know which cake he wanted.»
Cake tastes like a bran muffin. Comes in a styrofoam clamshell. First world problems etc, but critically, it could not be any worse. They could have given me no cake at all and refused to acknowledge it, I guess that could have been worse.
Suddenly Kenny G comes on the sound system, his big song from the late 90s. It’s not the radio. These guys are playing Kenny G on purpose. I flash back to my orthodontist’s office, and it’s great. It’s not raining there, and I’m not eating a side salad with a bran muffin for lunch. I burst out laughing, and I am genuinely happy. It’s like the Sharknado of restaurants. I will never forget this place. I will also never, ever eat here again.

I work right around the corner from this place and am always looking for different foods to eat on my lunch break. one day while looking for parking i discovered this new looking restaurant. When I first walked in i was pleased by how clean and new and fresh it looks. they have a varied menu, specializing in healthy juices and smoothies. I’ve had them before, and they’re pretty regular. they also have fresh foods like salads, soups, burgers, desserts, and snacks. Their prices are average, but higher than most around the area. I am giving it this rating for a few reasons: they are not open consistently throughout the day, even on weekdays and there is no posted schedule of operations. I have walked over here during normal hours of the day to see them closed. Some of the food is not fresh. I got this cookie sandwich with chocolate frosting and the cookie was hard as a rock. They don’t have all of the menu items. I am used to this so I call before coming to check if specific items are available. today i called to see if my favorite item is available (the beef patty! which really tastes like a beef empanada with yummy carrots and peas inside more so than a Caribbean beef patty) and when the girl picked up she said they have it. I said, are you sure, can you check? and she said yes, we have it. I went to the bank to get cash and headed in the opposite direction back to the «health juice corner» to order two beef patties (that i love) only to find out they didn’t have any. Pretty ridiculous they made me waste time during my precious lunch break. Not worth all the effort I put in to support this new business.