Jackie’s 5th Amendment

Never saw the appeal of this place. Not that cheap. Far better bars nearby. A bucket of those small Buds you get at weddings was still overpriced. A ton of locals is ok with me, but the prices really made this place strictly «one and done».

The reviews of this place made me think I’d wash up here on the tail end of a night gone down the pipes, but we journeyed here soberly to pay our dues before this venerable dive shutters.
Whenever I walk past and peer in, I see all sorts of characters loafing about and drinking at all hours of the day. It reminds me of the Night of Joy bar in Confederacy of Dunces.
My friend once said he saw someone squatting and relieving himself around the corner from this place. I have yet to erase that image from my mind.
Came in here and played some tunes on a fancy jukebox. How can you say no to Cranberries, Santana and Patsy Cline? Had about 3 drinks and came to $ 10.
Sad to see this place go, but the sellout in me is curious to see what new business will take up shop…

Old school dives are a thing of the past in NYC. Sooner or later these neighborhood gin mills are closing. Some move on due to rent, changing demographics, cost of doing business or just I don’t want it any more.
The later is true of Jackie’s 5^th Amendment. According to the Daily News, Jackie’s 5^th Amendment will close on September 14. The owner, who is now older, just can’t do it any more and the family does not want to be part of day to day operations.
Twenty years from now, no one will remember Jackie’s 5^th Amendment, but bars like Jackie’s were the gathering places to celebrate good news as well as bad. The «neighborhood bar» was a place you could cash a check on weekends. A place to get news from home. A place to borrow a couple of bucks until pay day. It was the place to meet, share the events and topics of the community.
Some have viewed Jackie’s 5^th Amendment as an old man’s bar. I looked at Jackie’s as a member of the community who was there rain or shine. A member who you could visit and enjoy a cold beer with. There was always somebody there to talk sports, politics or about the good old days.
My first visit was during the early 90’s. Don’t know why, but I did and was made to feel welcome, special and appreciated. Great prices. Good conversation. Always a laugh.
While I never was a regular at Jackie’s 5^th Amendment, I made about 6 or so visits during my two years in Park Slope. I always found friendly service and a cold Bud at Jackie’s. Jackie’s will certainly be missed by the old timers who built the community. They see another piece of their block going by with time. A piece that has moved on. Enjoy green pastures Jackie’s 5^th Amendment.

I’m pretty sure I got Hep C. I’ve been to some pretty dive-​y bars but this one really takes the cake.
Yes, they have cheap drinks but the selection is pretty limited and you kind of have to deal with the insanity that is the bar staff. I wonder if it’s legal to employ 80 year olds to serve drinks to rowdy hipster.
My low rating basically comes from the completely off-​the-​wall interaction I had with the 80-​year-​old barmaid wearing a Looney Tunes jacket. So the bar is crazy busy (birthday party with like 50 people) and I go and order 3 drinks: 1 Gray Goose + soda, 1 vodka + cranberry, and 1 Jack + Coke. She take about 20 minutes to find glasses for everyone before asking me to repeat my order again. We end up getting the vodka/​cran in a plastic cup, the Jack/​Coke in a wine glass, and Goose/​soda I think was just poured into the cupped hand of my friend. So she tells me that my order is $ 30. Keep in mind that drinks have been $ 5 all night. I totally don’t mind paying $ 30 for these drinks because that’s still pretty reasonable by NY standards but I just wanted to clarify why they were suddenly more.
Old lady suddenly blows her gasket and goes, «You ordered 6 drinks! Those 3 whiskeys and the 3 vodkas!»
Wait…I can tell you the last 16 drink orders you made and you couldn’t even finish pouring our drinks without asking me to repeat my order and you’re accusing ME of not knowing what I ordered?
Anyway, the drinks were paid for and I even left a nice tip but I can only tolerate so much when it comes to bars and being accused of stealing by someone obviously suffering from dementia is not acceptable!

Cheap buckets of those small beers.
Fun music on the jukebox.
The ladies behind the bar were awesome.
Who would have known this fun place was in PS.

This is a real bar. We were there a little early on during a football game. There was no frills about this place at all. The bartender was old, but authentic. He appears to be one of those men you could talk to for hours over whiskey. It is a very different feeling bar, but it feels fully authentic and fully real. No pretenses at all.

This place is incredible. It’s sort of B.Y.O.Babes, but they’ll come-​a-​flockin’ once they find out about the inexpensive buckets of beers, Frank Sinatra jukebox catalogue, and loosely enforced «Sir, you need to wear a shirt here» policy (and I thought the 2^nd Amendment was the right to bare arms ;-p). But even if they don’t, you’re sure to have a swell time playing darts, sitting in chairs, and thinking long and hard about the decisions you’ve both made and are bound to make in your life.
Jackie’s: When you’re here, you’re YOLO.

Now Jackie’s is the one acceptable bar hanging on in Park Slope (though, to be fair, I guess I forgot Old Carriage Inn when I originally wrote this review). I’m glad it’s still there, but sorry my prediction was rendered poor by the demise of O’C’s and Timboo’s.
It’s important to arrive early. Last time I stopped in, I had to listen to a pack of poorly domesticated boys talk about their college classes. They were wearing women’s denim jackets. This outfit choice was particularly distressing because not one of them could have been less than 15 pounds overweight. One of them attempted to chat up the bartender by describing the arcane procedure by which a collegian may reserve and check out darts at Amherst. Then I left.
There will be normal people until at least the 8^th inning of east coast games. When Kate Smith sings «God Bless America,» it’s like the Bat-​Signal to wake up those sleepy, pudgy Lotharios of the Seven Sisters. Soon the night air will be quick with the rustling of their jeans.

The yuppie zombie stroller literati speakeasy gossip blogger artisanal narcissist yoga gluttony carpetbagger apocalypse is upon us.
Join the resistance here.

Fran was my first proper introduction to Park Slope after moving here two and a half years ago. I don’t think Fran works at Jackie’s any longer which is truly a shame, but let’s hope that she’s moved on to bigger and better things — or at least that she’s doing alright somewhere. Fran is one of those people that could have been either 40 or 70, it was tough to tell. She is one of the few that grew up in the Slope and, on finding I was new to the hood, told me all about how it’s changed over the past 10 or 15 years.
But, enough about Fran. I was sold on Jackie’s one late afternoon when I walked in to find the daytime bartender having drinks — after his shift, of course. Shortly thereafter another patron introduced me to what OTB is. This is the info that you need to know when you are new to an area. Who cares where the best falafel is or which bar has the best hipster cocktails? What I want to know is where bartenders drink and how to get my gamble on.
Speaking of drinks, the 6 mini bottles for $ 9 is really one of the better deals around on a per ounce basis. There’s no food served at Jackies and, frankly, I’m not sure you’d want to eat it if it were. But, they allow takeout from other local spots, so feel free to grab something and bring it along. Jackie’s is a hold over from earlier days in the Slope and I hope that it stays around for a while. We need a place that isn’t irrationally devoted to being hip, expensive, and douchy. Jackie’s is none of those things and, as long as that continues to be the case, I’ll be there enjoying my buckets of mini-​beers.

I had one of the most hilarious hours of recent memory here. I stopped in at midday for a cold one. There was just the old bartender and two other old guys sittin in there quietly. After a few minutes they start talkin and a deluge of foul-​mouthed ol’-time Brooklyn nostaligic hilarity ensued. The stories they told! I sat there with my Sunday times trying not to laugh. On top of all that, the bartender gave me my second beer for free! That is just awesome. Who does that? Old guys who know what the fuck they are doing, that’s who! None of these bullshit young bartenders these days.

The reason why this place is worth going to is that they don’t care whether you do or not. It is a bar not interested in catering to people who need to have someone put out a lot of effort to draw you in (plasma TVs, hot DJs, half-​naked bartenders, bocce, etc.). It is a place to go and drink and talk to the person you came with. And drink.
Case in point: they sell buckets of 7oz bottles of cheap domestic swill. Outstanding.

When I think of a bar, I think of a place like Jackie’s:
–Real rock n’ roll on the jukebox (now, unfortunately, one of those internet kind), not the fucking indie hipster shit that pollutes the air in this part of Brooklyn like a nasty-​ass fart that has been wafting for several minutes.
–Super-​friendly bartenders who remember you, even if you’ve only been there a few times, and are quick with a drink.
–Cheap buckets of ponies (the freshest 7 ounces of the beer).
–Nothing but some old flickering 13″ tube televisions to distract you, thus forcing you to converse and be social rather than be consumed by stuff you can do at home.
–It’s been there forever, a true part of the neighborhood.

Oh Jackie’s! You’re the best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down! Good place to get drunk. Fran is the best, she takes care of you. They’re open bright and early and will stay until you’re done. I like my bars dive-​y and this is one GREAT dive.

Jackie’s is open at 8am. I’m not saying they are serving, but the doors are open and there are people inside. i am a-​ok with this business model, yes i is. and being recently unemployed, those open doors at 8am have been looking mighty tempting. i may discover sooner rather than later whether or not it is legal or serve at that hour.

Yes, this bar is hell’s waiting room.
Yes, when you walk in it’s like you’re instantly transported back to 1972.
It is a true dive, not a faux dive that secretly rich hipsters like to frequent in their plaid shirts and converse sneakers.
Jackie’s is the real deal, and although I’m preppy in pearl earrings, I’ve been fully embraced and welcomed by the entire regular crew (which admittedly is a little rough) at Jackie’s, especially by Fran, the 60-​something bartender who greets me with a kiss on the cheek.
This is a bar where the bartender actually gives a fuck about you, remembers your name, and makes you feel special.
I love this bar, in all of it’s divey glory!

dark. smelling. dank. cheap.
it’s how i like my bars. not my men.
welcome to heaven’s waiting room. welcome to jackie’s 5^th amendment.

If you can’t realize the glory of an actual dive inhabited by actual low-​lifes, all friendly-​as-​can be, with cheap beers and good times? Then stop goddam drinking, you little baby.

I like the awning.

«Welcome to the morgue»
This is what I hear when I first walk in. Very inviting statement isn’t it, but in reality the bartender, well she was right. The place was dead as can be. A few older locals, a tv on and some music. It was just weird. The bartender was nice though, she talked us up a little made us some stiff drinks and bid us a nice night. I don’t think I’ll go back though since I’ve never seen it have more than 6 people in it.