Michaels

For weeks, months, nay, years, I was in search of reasonably priced 11×17 frames for my 11×17 posters. I went to store after store but was coldheartedly rejected by the generic granddaughters holding sunflowers and puppies.
But then, oh my goodness, suddenly the frames appeared… in Joel’s office. Sadly they belonged to Joel and were holding Joel’s posters so I couldn’t just take the money and run. Also they were kind of high up on the wall and I don’t think I could reach. Joel is tall.
«Where oh where did you get those frames, Joel??» I asked.
«Why, Michaels, of course,» he answered, adding, «Duh!»
No, he didn’t really say «duh.» He’s very polite.
So off I biked to Michaels, located conveniently in the nearby Barracks Road Shopping Center. Barracks Road is a great place to go to observe our dependence on foreign oil. You will see bumper stickers such as «My other car is also here at Barracks Road, because my family believes carpooling is un-​American» and «I had to sell my other car to refinance my home mortgage and now it belongs to Bank of America.»
I took the escalator five steps at a time (see: Elf) and emerged on a large floor filled with everything. Gift wrap, knitting supplies, fall wreaths, wooden sculptures, halloween costumes, beach pails, posters, and yes, frames. So many frames! I walked around the frame section drooling for a while. («Cleanup in aisle Frame!») Then I spotted the perfect 11×17 from across the room. I gave it a quick glance to see if it was looking at me too. It was! I approached it carefully, so as not to startle it. The $ 9 price tag begged, «Love me!»
When we finally touched, I held it in my arms and we danced all night long.