Tequila Ranch

This bar is full of worst of humanity.

— Jumbo happy hour drinks, cool atmosphere, DIVERSE crowds, great ownership, good service, and great place to start the night to meet girls. Great place to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. Tequila Ranch is awesome.

Electric bull! how can you give this place bad reviews?
I came with a big group on a Thursday night mainly for the bull. I think it was $ 5 to ride. We also tipped the guy to throw one of our friends down right away :) A few of us ordered drinks, but we basically rode and left (ha). The bull operator was nice enough, and he even demonstrated for us how it’s done (he’s a true cowboy apparently).
We got what we wanted and left happy onto the next party. Only weird thing though. they didn’t have hand wash in their restroom. dirty!

I can only vouch for it being a fun place because i was a lil intoxicated. They seem to play songs that make girls dance on the bar– think «Cowboy bay-​beee» and have people drink shots or whip cream out of their belly button.
Met some nice people and some not so nice girls– one sat down at my table and told me to get lost. Guess she was claiming it as hers!
Some cow told me to moooo-​ve outta the Ranch! LOL

If you want a cool place to drink, you’ve got a lot of other options. If however your night has turned to the point where you really, really need to watch chunky girls get tossed off mechanical bull and equally chunky girls dancing on bar then this makeshift Coyote Ugly is the bar for you.
Pass.

I may have done shots here. I may have gotten crazy wasted here and tried to take my shirt off outside, even though it was two degrees. Did I… did I ride that mechanical bull? Oh dear lord… I did. There’s photographic evidence on my cell phone. Sweet Jesus.

How have I never reviewed this gem? Perhaps it is because I have not been here in 3 years. However, from what I hear, not a lot has changed.
I am sure some of you are shocked that I would be giving this hambone/​hooknasty haven such a high rating. But, in truth, it does what it does well. It is gimmicky (and when you want to hoot and hollar and get sweaty drunk, you want gimmicky). And, It is out of the way so I only have to deal with it when I want to. I mean, the only reason I go near that place is to get liquored, flirt with boys, and make fun of hambones and hooknasties.
It gets 4 stars for the people watching alone… all those inflatable penises from bachelorette parties? Come on! Plus, they serve my favorite beverage, tequila, from giant glasses with fun straws.