The Bar

The other reviews here need to figure out that Des Plaines is not Bucktown. The Bar is a rare find these days, a place without pretensions, with cheap beer, a friendly staff. You don’t go for a Bloody Mary. You go for your basic collection of American and well known import beer and/​or a shot of something. Anything else, you probably don’t want to be in Des Plaines. The only disappointment was the apparent lack of food. If they do have food, they do not advertise it. A previous owner had pretty good bar burgers. It would not be a bad idea to get back to that. But, it looks they are going for simplicity here. And you have to respect that. The Bar does what it does well.

Close to house

Friend: «So, where ya goin’ out tonight?»
Me: «The bar.»
Friend: «What bar?»
Me: «The Bar in Des plaines»
Friend: «Yeah, I get you’re going to a bar, but which bar??»
Me: «Jesus frickin’ christ it’s a bar called The Bar!»
Yeahhh…The folks who opened this place get brownie point on creativity in terms of naming their business. Perhaps they thought that their bar stood alone? that it was the ultimate bar of all bars? that giving it a quirky/​trendy name would not do it justice, that it was purely «theee bar»? ahh… who knows…
After visiting here a few times, I can tell you that the answer is: (drumrollll) NO. The bar is a des plains-​ian townie bar located inconspicuously on the corner of oakton street. The atmosphere is rather dry and dark, but they try to jazz it up by adding a pool table, juke box, and pinball machine (the holy trinity). The bartender Andrea is a really sweet lady, though on the one night that she wasn’t there, another bartender named Jackie (tall, slim, short blonde-​haired girl) basically accused me for bringing in a fake id. Yes, my hair is different in my picture than it is now, but my face is the same! She said that my eyebrows were different…(of all things, eyebrows? really? the most malleable and transformative facial features ever? yeah first time in my life where i had to defend my freaking eyebrows…
Bloody mary mix tastes like straight up shit. Ask them to make it from scratch. Also, $ 5 drink specials on domestic drafts on certain nights. Go here if you are in your 40’s and need to take a load off from work and your fam. If you’re young and want to have a good time, go somewhere else. please.

As you may have guessed by the creative name, «The Bar» isn’t really a place you go to see poetry readings, local bands, or a «mixologist» whip up exotic beverages. This is where you go to eat fried food and get cheap drinks (there’s a special every night).
Friday nights, they set up some karaōke gear in a corner (there’s no stage, really) and drunk people scream into the microphone.
In conclusion, I don’t go there for the food. I don’t go there for culture. I go there when I have a friend in from out of town who wants to «get to know my neighborhood» and get trashed in the process without parting with a bunch of money. You can breeze in here in the middle of the afternoon, order a gin and tonic, and not get a sideways glance out of anybody, and there’s no cover charge. As a designated driver, I also appreciate the free parking.
For the curious, I didn’t give it 2 stars because I don’t like it, had a problem with the staff, or discovered a fingernail clipping in my soda. Sometimes you’re just looking for a 2-​star place, and this is it. No frills, nothing fancy, just booze, bar food, and the occasional event or Friday karaōke.