The Bar

worst bar ever — claims to be a dance bar, charges a cover charge. the DJ played nothing close to dance music while we were there. The place is kind of dumpy; very small crowd even on a Sat night at 1030pm. I dont think it is quite the hot spot for the LGBT community that it claims to be. Basically this is a place to avoid!

Recently I decided to grab a few drinks at Surf Club which is next door to The Bar. There seemed to be a event next door at The Bar, and many of Surf Club’s patrons were viewing it from a small wall which divides the two properties. At one point, one of the employees of The Bar got onto the PA system and began to harass and curse at all of the patrons next door for viewing. A few moments later a bouncer took a garden hose and began to spray everyone next door at Surf Club. Myself and many others found this extremely rude and became very upset over the matter. Surf Club’s employees quickly became aware of the situation, and handled it in a professional manner. This was extremely unprofessional and rude on behalf of The Bar, And I would hope those involved were not in management or ownership of the bar.

The Bar was one of the venues for Marry Durham, and the dance floor is truly amazing and of course the staff is wonderful including some great DJ’s…And They are truly a community bar where folks can enjoy themselves and not worry about being harassed no matter what their orientation… at least that is the opinion I get of this place, and they have helped get the word out to their main constituents about some films we have shown of interest to that group here at the Hayti…

I checked in and showed the bartender the free shot offer… he said no, we don’t do that! What??? LAME!

This gay bar is really a smalltown straight bar from 2003.
The space is great, the drinks are cheap, and the bartenders are nice. But the DJ’s playlist sounds like the one I put together when I was still confused about my gayness and was downloading Now That’s What I Call Music songs from Kazaa to seem cool.

Was told it was a LGBT bar, but it happened to be more straight couples than anything else. Music was loud and thumping so no complaints there. Bar staff were ok, a little slow but there was a very large crowd. Too cold to really experience the outdoor beach themed area, but it looked cool. Bathrooms were too small and needed some deep cleaning. The male bathroom only had a shower curtain for a door and the female bathroom was just cramped. I’ll skip if back in the area again.

Disgusting establishment. Bathrooms are not capable of handling larger crowds and they have 3 porta John’s out back that were covered in vomit and whatever else. Public sex acts occur in bathroom. There’s no décor to speak of. Everything is run down and dirty. No class found here. Music was mediocre.

I feel two stars is being generous. I remember this place from back in the day when it was Visions. When Steel Blue decided to leave it’s location to come here, I was bummed.
The dyke party is somewhere, but I still can’t find it. It’s definitely not at The Bar. If you are coming here with hopes for a lesbian dance party this isn’t it. My expectations were low because I hadn’t been to this location in such a long time. I expected changes and the one thing I did like is the diversity. I’m white but my gf is black and we both enjoy being around all races and backgrounds. I would like to add to another review about the whole being femme thing. I was made to feel a bit uncomfortable from a butch woman by her saying I didn’t «look gay.» First of all that shit is annoying. How am I supposed to look? I wasn’t dressed up but I looked nice. It was a place I didn’t feel like I could be myself. Yes it is too ambitious and needs to figure out it’s identity. It was just awkward. Bartenders were friendly enough. Straight girls galore which is fine but I’m not too fond of seeing hetero makeout sessions in a gay spot. Like really, you have 1,000 places to go. I’m accepting of all genders and identities but I’m perplexed with the whole guy and girl couple looking for a girl to hookup with at a gay bar. It’s offensive honestly that you would assume there would be a buffet of women waiting to sleep with you and your husband. That’s what Craigslist is for.
I was approached by said couple for a hookup situation. When I was disinterested they moved to my friend.
I left disappointed and close to a sugar coma from the bucket beverage on special. It was lackluster and I won’t be back.

At first, I only came to The Bar for special occasions — birthday parties, drag shows that were too good to pass up, etc. Then, I started hanging out here infrequently on Sunday afternoons. Next thing I knew, I was here every Tuesday night with my running club.
And why not? The staff is great, customers are friendly, drinks are cheap and, spoiler alert, The Bar has arguably the best outdoor space in downtown Durham. Consider yourself warned.

Let me start by saying that I Love The Bar.
Sometimes I get an eyebrow-​raise when I suggest going there. It’s not hip. It’s not happenin’. The venue is a little too ambitious for what they got goin’ on. It’s definitely an older crowd on most nights that I don’t really fit in with, but even so, The Bar claims a special piece of my hardened heart.
One way they’ve achieved this is through their drink selection. Going to The Bar is ALL ABOUT THE BAR, because this place has THE BEST COCKTAIL MENU I’VE SEEN-​DRANK ANYWHERE. Also, cheap PBR if yr too butch for that, sweet and flirty bartenders– am I missing anything???
Some of the drinks, «Banana Boat» «Thin Mint» «Ginger Rogers» may not be the most high-​brow. But god damn are they delicious. And there are like twenty of them. I have yet to catch ‘em all but I am looking forward to it. Also, «Pussy». It’s the energy drink of choice at The Bar that they import from the UK just for a good, queer laugh. I like to think The Bar is self-​aware enough to not take itself too seriously, and I appreciate commitment to a theme like that.
I’ve never seen the dance floor hoppin’ at The Bar, but that just may be my luck. I don’t go to The Bar with cruising in mind. For a good time, bring your own party. The outdoor space is just awesome (with a tiki bar on the deck) with intimate seating where you and your friends can kick back and watch the bois go by. A great place to pre-​game, or just hang out.
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When the weather’s nice, The Bar is the place to be. Out back, it’s like a beach without the water – there’s sand, cabanas, fire pits, and games like cornhole, ping pong, and beer pong (well, tables with little circles on them for perfect cup-​placement).
When the weather isn’t nice, The Bar is still a great place to be! Inside, there’s a jukebox, darts, and pool, and the dance floor is nice and big to accommodate drag and burlesque performances and dance parties. The bartenders are always SO nice and incredibly competent (ask for a Flaming Lamborghini – you’ll see).
Admittedly, I’m more of an afternoon/​early evening drinker, so The Bar’s never been that crowded when I’ve been there, but the other patrons have ranged from keeping to themselves to being downright outgoing (yes, I WOULD like to meet your dog!), regardless of my or my friends’ gender presentation or sexual orientation.

Do not come here if you present femme! Seriously. My friends and I walked in and got side-​eyed and harassed all night. One woman even had the nerve to come over, put her hand on my butt and tell me I was dressed inappropriately because she could see a little bit of my underwear above my jeans. My other friend got hassled by the DJ for requesting A MADONNA SONG. Really? The place was not that full, so why would you let your patrons and employees harass paying customers? It is just not right.
On the other hand, the regular bartender is really nice and friendly, and karaōke nights here are usually fun but STAY AWAY from weekend dance parties if you’re not butch because people will not be nice. Try The Pinhook instead for a less judgey environment.

I’ve always been a fan of the local neighborhood watering hole. You know the sort of place I’m talking about: one «where everybody knows your name» and that you always refer to as simply, «the bar.»
Ever since I moved to Durham, North Carolina from Austin, Texas, I have been living rather like a hermit, all the while searching for that elusive neighborhood watering hole I mentioned above. One place in my neighborhood, however, recently caught my eye: a place called The Bar.
I made the decision that, in my search for a neighborhood hang-​out, I simply had to check out a spot that would deign to call itself The Bar. I mean, when you think about it, just in name alone the place already had waged and won half the battle of earning the title of local watering hole. At this point, the question wasn’t IF I would drop in; it was a matter of WHEN.
It wasn’t long before the perfect opportunity presented itself. One recent Thursday evening, a friend and I decided to meet for a toddy after work. Having grown rather bored with a place called Whiskey (the reason for which will be the subject of another review altogether), I suggested we go to The Bar.
«We’re AT a bar,» my friend replied.
«No. The place is CALLED The Bar,» I answered.
And, just like that, with my friend standing corrected, we were on our way.
At first glance, The Bar is pretty unassuming with an interior that is pretty much no-​nonsense and utilitarian: a wide-​open space with ample cocktail tables, some sofas, a dance floor, a pool table, and a long well-​stocked bar. As we entered, I immediately got the feel that this is a place of «regulars,» but I never once felt out-​of-​place or unwelcome. Everyone I encountered was exceptionally friendly, and I was pleased to discover we had wandered in on karaōke night. Score one right out of the gate for The Bar. Everyone knows, after all, that any good neighborhood watering hole comes with a night dedicated to would-​be American Idol auditions where each performer — no matter how bad or good — gets a resounding ovation at the end of a number. At this point, I knew my friend and I had made a good decision with our venue change.
The karaōke hostess’s name was Hillary, and she was adequately and endearingly brash and unfiltered. .. as any good karaōke matron should be. (I’ll also add that she bears a striking resemblance to Better Midler, but something tells me you might not want to tell her that.) She completely won my heart, however, when she uttered these magic words: «Check in on Facebook and show Leslie your check-​in for a tasty treat on the house!» Needless to say, I was totally on board. So I pulled out my EVO, entered the required Facebook check-​in, and made my way to the bar.
Leslie the bartender promptly honored my check-​in with what I think was a Washington Apple shooter, and then, with a warm smile, asked what I’d be chasing it with. I ordered my usual gin and tonic which was delivered in a prompt and courteous manner, and again with a warm smile. The drink was amply poured with more than acceptable proportions, and I was happy to open a tab. I knew I was going to be here for awhile.
Recognizing that my friend and I were new faces, Leslie struck up a conversation that immediately felt comfortable and welcoming. We chatted at length about all sorts of things, and it wasn’t long before I felt like I had made a friend. I knew that next time I happened into The Bar, Leslie would remember my name and, in all likelihood, what I drink. Long story short, Leslie had demonstrated in very short order all the hallmark traits of a damn good bartender. There was no question by now that I would be coming back to The Bar. But, was this place going to be my neighborhood watering hole? That was the looming question.
My friend and I decided to go check out what was going on out the back door. We stepped outside to discover a darling little tiki-​style bar and patio that had stretching behind it a vast back yard filled with all sorts of amusements. Ping pong tables, sand volleyball, cornhole set-​ups, and little seating alcoves stretched for quite a distance. In this space, I immediately envisioned many a Sunday Funday in my future.
We engaged in conversation with some of the regulars on the patio, and — at this point on my third gin and tonic — I swooned over the patio and backyard and sang unrelenting praises regarding Leslie. The regulars immediately embraced me as one of their own, and, just like that, within an hour of walking through the front door of The Bar for the first time, I knew I had found it. I was standing in my local neighborhood watering hole: The Bar.
I went back inside to enjoy some more karaōke and more delightful conversation with Leslie, who, by the way, went out of her way to introduce me to pretty much everyone who walked up to the bar.
I was back at The Bar the next night. And the next. Well, you get the picture.
Come say hi. You won’t be disappointed.