Drunken Monkey Cantina

This place is horrible bartender’s do not know how to make really any drinks. drinks were inconsistent. It took me 25 mins to get a drink on a Thursday it wasnt even busy. The staff had an Attitude and and were not very help full at all places like this should not be supported if they want to treat customers like we are nothing its ridiculous. Go to Tonys or the blindpig at least there bartenders are knowledgeable and respect full and dont discriminate because of tattoos come on now its 2016 everyone has tattoos.

I wasted my first night out in 9 months here. If you work full time, have children or any life at all, and hate being discriminated against without a valid reason this is not the place for you. This is the worst place that you could ever spend money in Colorado! DO NOT GO HERE! I just got a ticket for asking for the managers phone number so that I could call and see exactly why it was that I was kicked out because they had no reason they just took my money and then kicked me out it was crazy. I’m not from Colorado I’m used to bars that only kick you out when they have completely justified reasons and as you can see from this review I am CLEARLY coherent, I’m CLEARLY not intoxicated, and I’m CLEARLY not in the state of mind that would render me incapable of behaving myself at a bar. Im almost 25 and I just wanted the owners phone number so that I could ask them why I was being kicked out and inform them that I would no longer be promoting them at work for any reason and would warn all women that they were not welcome there and will be rushed my a man and not given a reason when they want you to leave. I had two drinks I bought all of my friends a drink, and nothing was a special at that point, so I spent about $ 60 only to be served a ticket from the Fort Collins PD for trespassing because I stood next to the podium OUTSIDE ON A SIDEWALK waiting for someone to tell me why I was specifically singled out and targeted after they took my money. This was less than one hour ago. I’m super tall and blonde and they received a complaint from a girl in the bathroom, so they claim, but I have multiple witnesses there at the exact moment that swore to the bouncer that I was just smiling and being nice and that young woman rolled her eyes and told someone she wanted me to leave, none of which I even noticed. One of my heels was broken so maybe the fact that I had to tip toe really bothered her I don’t know. That or she just simply didn’t like how blonde I was and sought the red bearded mans help to rid the place of me… I don’t know. The guy with the 6″ — 10″ red beard told me to stand in the hall while I waited for his manager and then came back after about 7 minutes and told me that they left and I needed to leave right now (I felt extremely violated). Understandably, I was frustrated and I professionally asked when I could speak to the owners and upper management again and they refused to answer me or give me any reasoning behind making me leave the place I just dropped $ 60 at. Spend your money everywhere else please do not go here. I look forward to speaking with the owner to figure out exactly why I was given a ticket for following the instructions that the bouncer gave me. I went back and stood OUTSIDE next to TAYLOR (or so he said but he was super nice and cute and made me feel a little better) at the podium so that someone could give me some sort of connection to the owner. Luckily, I’m in commercial Real Estate and getting the owners information should be a breeze once I get back to work, but I wanted them to give it to me tonight so that they had to deal with the successful hard working woman and mother that they wrongfully kicked out for no reason at all. They claim they received a complaint from another girl from the bathroom, but all of the witnesses from the SINGLE TIME THAT I USED THE restroom can verify that I was not found doing anything weird, annoying, illegal, or unexpected at a night club. PLEASE PULL THE TAPES DRUNKEN MONKEY. I HAVE CALLED FIVE TIMES NO ONE IS ANSWERING AND YOU YOURSELF SOUGHT LEGAL PERSECUTION SO PLEASE PULL THE TAPES, SHOW THE FOOTAGE, AND SHOW ME WHAT I DID INCORRECTLY AS A PATRON AT YOUR ESTABLISHMENT. Don’t take my money and then give me a ticket for being an adult woman who wanted to know what I did wrong and soberly stood on public property waiting to find out so that I would not repeat it in the future and not feel so violated. PULL THE TAPES FOR MY COURT DATE THIS IS NOT EVEN TWO HOURS AFTER YOU CALLED THE FORT COLLINS PD ON ME FOR STANDING OUTSIDE BY YOUR PODIUM. I HAVE CALLED EVERY NUMBER AND EMAILED EVERY SOURCE THAT YOU HAVE PROVIDED GOOGLE WITH. No one deserves to feel threatened or unwelcome or so incredibly violated with no reasoning behind it whether Colorado gives you that right or not. Was it because one of my heels broke? it was only one heel. I highly recommend staying as far away from these people as you can. I used to spend all week telling my new tenants to go there because I heard it was fun and there were great people, but now all 3 of my properties and all of their 700 residents will know that your bar does not understand The Civil Rights Act of 1964 or unlawful discrimination, and how although you are private property you are a public accommodation and need to ensure that all paying customers are treated fairly.

Interesting idea for a theme, but not done very well. Bar layout is horrible… There tons of useless space in this bar. Dance floor opens upstairs at around 10pm… And it is EXTREMELY noisy. Waitresses seem fake and smile only when you are talking to them.

Swings and drunks– maybe not the best idea. But the theme is great, it feels like a grown up Chuck E Cheese in there. Tropical drinks and shots are their specialty, feel free to hang out on the beanbags upstairs. Just be careful leaving, they have the tiniest entryway ever and you probably will run over some drunk girl barreling through.

The fishbowl is just HUGE. And swings make it pretty fun!
Later at night there was some pop music playing, but they played Metallica during the beginning of the afternoon!

So… its too bad the atomosphere at this bar sucks because the swings in lieu of bar stools are pretty much the greatest thing ever. It almost makes up for the scene. Almost. And if swings at your bar don’t make up for the crummy parts of your establishment? Pro-​tip: Rethink your business plan.

I have tattoos on my hands, nothing distasteful just my name, birth year, and some musical symbols, and was told that I was not allowed into Fort Collins skankiest bar, because of them. The only reason I went was to take my younger sister on her 21^st, otherwise I would’ve never gone near this place. I employ over 100 people and don’t dress like a gangbanger, like half of the people that were inside. Plus the rude ass doormen can be heard making a lot of noise doing their opening duties, throwing stuff around on the sidewalk and porch.

Ok, so I love the rope swings in this place, and the two-​story layout, but few times I have been here (I am from out of town), it has been a meat market. Admittedly, I have only been here on Friday and Saturday nights, so maybe it is more laid-​back during the week (although I do understand that they have a pretty crazy ladies night on Thursday that involves an all-​you-​care-​to-​drink special), but my last visit revolved around waiting at the bar to grab drinks and avoiding guys.
This being said, if you are looking for a fun, party environment, with reasonable drink prices this is your place. The upstairs has a small dance floor, and a second bar, so you can get your libations at either place.

Swings + Alcohol = Great Idea. My only suggestion would be to have some more knee space because every time I sit in a swing my knees bang up on the bar. Fun bar… try the fishbowls!

It’s a decent bar, me guesses. Just the swings are a bit uncomfortable, the bartenders are only falsely friendly and its a mecca for douche bags and whore-​whores. Decent though to check out if you have never been, just don’t expect much

Sometimes, the atmosphere is awesome. I love to dance, and the upstairs dance floor can be one of the best in town (depending on the hour/​night of the week). Swings are silly and impractical, making it appear to be for the 18 and up crowd. The drinks could definitely be cheaper. But, its a fun time.

The Drunken Monkey is yet another theme bar located in the old town area. We have dropped by this place several times for cheap drinks and compulsive swinging (on swings) at the bar. It’s definitely not the worst bar or the best in old town, but a good starting point.
Atmosphere: Upon entering the place you will notice the seating at the bar are hanging swings. Yes these are actual swings and your only option for seating at the bar. There are tables in the bar area and on the patio as well as upstairs. The décor is a jungle theme but not so over the top that you forget it’s a bar.
Service: The service was good and the bartender was friendly enough.
Drinks: The same beer taps you will find all over Fort Collins. A couple New Belgium’s, a couple O’Dell’s, and the usual light domestics. They have a specialty margarita called «The Snakebite» that is both strong and cheap. But at $ 3 you get what you pay for.

This is a fun college bar. Good music and atmosphere.
I was entertained.
James

Its okay; a place to test out so you can try the swings…
Went in August, 2010, and wasn’t impressed with the service. There was a Long Island special which I took part of and I asked the server for a «long island with diet». She brought me a straight diet coke, AND a long island. I responded that I had ordered a long island with diet coke in place of the coke that comes with it! You should know what is in the drinks you are serving, and I dont see how this could confuse someone; never has before. She went to return it to the bar, and some of the swing seats opened up, so we went to those. She was talking smack to the bartender about the mixup, very rudely. When I got my correct drink, I just smiled and thanked her.
The atmosphere is nice, the bathrooms are uniquely decorated. The other folks in the bar were somewhat questionable to me. I cant tell if we were getting dirty looks, or everyone just treats others as outsiders if they are not with their group.

I don’t drink, so you’re on your own as far as pricing goes. The following review is based on atmosphere alone.
The crowd here is basically an Ed Hardy/​Affliction choadfest with the occasional redneck thrown into the rodeo. Despite the glaring lack of actual monkeys, this bar has been known to host Girls Gone Wild. Oddly enough, it’s typically a pretty crappy venue for meeting cute girls unless your taste runs toward cougars or you have a weird cowboy boot fetish. The local college football team hangs out on the porch acting like hot shit even though the CSU Rams have sucked ass for well over a decade. If you hang out here, you’re an asshole, period.
Recommendation: The Drunken Monkey features swings instead of barstools, so show up later in the night to watch drunk assholes break their heads open, Humpty Dumpty style.

This place is full of the obnoixous popped collar crowd that any self respecting person should try and avoid. The staff is rude and the place is obnoxiously overplayed. The place closed for a few months a year or so ago when they were caught serving to minors or some other complaint.
This is the 4^th bar at this location and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until there is a new bar at this location. I just need to bide my time.

I went to this place when it was not so busy. Just got a simple beer and chips and salsa, it was fun! They got swings for you to sit on. Probably on the weekends people go very ‘ape’ on them! LOL!

–2 stars… this place is frat boy/​creeper central. And lots of skank-​a-​lisous girls rubbing up on them. ew ew ewwwww
I went there for a bachelorette party this past summer, and the leader of the group told the bouncer there were a few underage girls in the group. He said that it didn’t matter and let everyone in without checking a single id. Lucky for them, the underagers didn’t drink and get caught by the cops. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they lost their liquor license. That would be a fantastic day!!!

My friend who grew up in this area, recommended this place for some late night entertainment. After my date, we went here for drinks and really enjoyed it. It was kind of different and fun to sit on the «bar stools» which were really swings. Although it was a Tuesday or Wednesday night, there was some atmosphere here.
People were friendly. Bartenders were good. Drinks were reasonably priced. Back ground music was fin, a bit loud for conversation, but your typical bar environment.
I would certainly go again.

This place was cool! definitely the way to start our Saturday night off! the bar seats are all swings, which was awesome! when we got there our beers were $ 1 each, then they went up to $ 2 or $ 3. they had a DJ who was playing 80’s music that night. the womens bathroom was decorated with monkeys drinking from beer bongs and stuff. they guys i’m guessing was just as decorated. chips and salsa are free and it was really good! they have all different kinds of alcohol so you can have whatever you want. there «house shot» was really good. its blue! it wasn’t that crowded when we got there and throughout the time we were there it didn’t get that much busier. it was fun!