Celina’s Sports Bar

Would have given it one star if it weren’t for the surreal atmosphere that I’ve told many stories about.
First things first, I’m not all that familiar with Hamtramck having just moved here a few months ago. I was looking for a place to watch the Tigers game. I was drawn to this place by the patio and the exterior suburban sports bar appearance. In short it looked like a nice place to watch a game. It wasn’t, but it was a nice place to watch people. The strangest collection of people I’ve seen in a while. It was a weeknight — maybe a Tuesday.
I should have left when the guy that walked in before me didn’t put his cigarette out. It just got more weird from there. First the $ 10 minimum on credit card purchases, then no beers on tap. While watching the game, I kept getting distracted by the people. There was the guy with multiple neck tattoos that was drinking the house red wine. There was also a guy that brought in his own can of pop and paced around the bar. When the guy came in, sat down next to me, and ended every statement with «baby», it was time to go. I’d reached my $ 10 minimum.
So in short, they allow smoking, have a $ 10 minimum on cards, and have some very strange customers. If you love people watching, you’ll love this place. If you’re looking for a smoke free place to watch a game, I suggest going elsewhere.

Holy crap this is such a terrible bar! Why does Hamtramck need a place like this?
Even from outside of the bar you can hear the Top 40 music, so you know it’s going to be loud inside. But instead of people bopping away to Train, you see the most depressing and desperate (mostly male) looking smokers tapping their cigarettes over cups of water (which the bartenders call «ash trays») Pretty much everyone, including the bartenders were smoking. Gross.
There is no beer on tap at all. There is no fountain pop. There is a $ 10 minimum on credit cards. All great things.
And the smoking bartenders flirt mercilessly with the depressing patrons. A few people were awkwardly dancing near the DJ stand, but music and dancing belong in happier places.
The only bright spot was the 2 guys playing chess in the corner. Way to bring a little regalness to this dump.

This was by far the weirdest place I’ve ever been. I gave it three stars for surrealism. We stopped in for a drink on our way to the Belmont Bar. Being earlier than our 11pm friends, we thought we’d stop in Celina’s and have a drink. I didn’t realize I was walking into the Twilight Zone.
Seated obscenely close to me was a man on a bar stool that wasn’t even really drinking. Odd. Down from him were the two women that I swear to you were dressed as prostitutes. This led me to believe that they were not, since even prostitutes do not want to appear that desperate and overly Madonnaesque. Standing and continually making jukebox selections that were nauseating to say the least were the 60 year old swingers. I’m not kidding. They did pick «At Last,» only it wasn’t Etta, it was Celine. Way to ruin one of my favorite songs. Then there were the guys playing whatever kind of gambling machines they have in the bar. Very angry at their «luck.» Is gambling legal in Hamtramck? Oh, how could I forget the guy in the amazingly large neck scarf. So large it was like a poncho. He took metrosexual to all new levels.
The woman at the bar could pour a decent drink. Kudos to her. Like all bars in Detroit, the drinks are dirt cheap and well poured. She did a good job of keeping the rum flowing.
Weird, but entertaining.