Burger King

Cheap food, free WiFi, their App always has coupons.
Freezing inside, 24 hours Christmas music in November! Some maintenance issues, friendly staff.
There’s only one soda machine, of the computerized touchscreen variety, so of you’re stuck behind someone (or a family) that is easily baffled, you’ll wait an entirety.

I like to make tenuous connections among things where I can, my mind works best this way. While the Halloween Whopper («H Dub») has been on my radar since it launched I just never got around to trying it. This morning in my office taking the digital shrinkwrap off Amerigo Gazaway’s newest mixtape of B.B. King/​UGK I found that while the Yasiin Gaye mixtape last year was supremely enjoyable, this one was just fire the same way The Hood Internet vs Chicago mixtape was the first time I heard it. Luda is not one of my faves (nothing like my immortals Mike Jones, Immortal Technique, Aesop Rock, Andre Nickatina, and Saigon) but he completely killed it on Track 8 bringing the flow to an apogee with «I’m black and proud — I’m black and loud — I’m black and high» over B.B.‘s uptempo backing. So I needed to investigate the proud, loud, and high qualities of the black bun of the H Dub. My inspiration for the day; another reminder for you to vote YES on Prop 1 to protect the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance on November 3.
BK is never anyone’s first choice. Like you don’t find anyone that actually wants a Pepsi but they will grudgingly accept it if they don’t have the gentlesir’s preferred Dr. Pepper. BK (like Wendy’s) rose to capitalist prominence by placing their biz near the McDonalds. McD did all the advertising and market research on how to talk to the people to get them in the mood for a burger, freedom fries, and a soda that could fit a child that had been liquefied. When the line was too long at the McD (or you were banging the girl on the fryolator yet you were taking the wife out for dinner) you went next door to BK since there was less of a line, and they had the same Murrican food as McD more or less. As a student of history I have a pretty good grasp on these slices of Americana in the latter half of the 20^th century, which I have now shared with you.
Strike 1: the soda experience is existentially dispiriting. I have a lot of fast food drive-​thru pet peeves for a guy that will still go to them. But I need things to complain about in real life that other people can relate to, rather than trying to explain the importance of the Khajiiti insurrection; the anarcho-​socialist undercurrents of the Star Wars universe; or general canonical comic book stuff to a person that is probably not a virgin since they are clearly not keeping up in the conversation. One of the evil things that happens in a drive-​thru is a worker that splashes soda everywhere, then hands the cup over to you like [Urkel voice] «did I do that?» Now my khakis have coke all over them — the soda kind, not the kind that smells really good (and of which that lady at the Astros game of course knows nothing about since it was nasal spray.) My additional tasting notes are that the vanilla mix is off. It’s not Walter White chemistry. But mix it wrong and it tastes like someone ashed their Swisher Sweet in your cup. Get me some cognac and some other party accessories and we’ll see about the Swishers then, but not in my cup of soda in the middle of the afternoon.
Strike 2: the drive-​thru experience is disheartening. Get your life together in the drive-​thru, girlfriend. The sign in the drive-​thru said the H Dub was sold out. Which was not true when I interrogated you on the speaker box. Because I was going to not order anything and go to another location if that was true. Because that is the one reason I had for coming to a BK rather than a more respectable burger place like Big Bellys which I have been discussing lately with the good people of Unilocal dot com. I bet people have pulled into the drive-​thru, saw the sign just like the Ace of Base, and left. Take the sticker down if you have H Dub. Just give the people what they want, a whopper with a bun as black as our tiny robot hearts.
Strike 3: the H Dub was a bit of a letdown. For a novelty it’s quite amusing; it got me in the drive-​thru to check it out when I can’t remember the last time I went to a BK. But the A-​1 that is supposedly baked into the bun is completely absent from tasting. As a result they really sauced the burger up inside with A-​1 to offset the tasteless bun. It is a very saucy burger, so that is why they give you so many napkins. The H Dub is definitely camp for this time of year; but nothing more. BK really could have made some new fans if they knocked the technical «burger» elements out of the park, rather than just making the bun spooky. But just like my guide to buying wines, if the label looks cool then the wine is probably terrible. The black bun is hecka rad, there is no lie. As it goes, the burger itself is uninspiring at best. It’s just a whopper, with a ton of A-​1 dashed on it. And just a whopper is far from impressive under any circumstances, even at 2am in Denver with the über driver you have bribed to take you through the drive-​thru.
For $ 8.65 to round out the meal with fries and a soda, the H Dub is an affordable and accessible seasonal novelty, but nothing more.

This place is unacceptable. I ordered 20 pieces chicken nuggets, they came out cold and saggy. When I tried to get my sauce in the bag, I found out the sauce bag was broken, it was everywhere in the bag. That was not a good experience, I don’t think I would even come back

I hate this place for the first time. I will never go back to this branch and will be maybe forever before I get another burger King product. This is a thank you for «the crappies customer service» Jessie, cashier for drive thru. I’ve ever had. Ever.

Not that I expected much from Burger King, but WOW. The employees at this location redefine the word rude. Just awful.

This has got to be the worst BK in the city! The food is always cold, and you are lucky if your cold food order is even correct!

the food taste good, this location just ALWAYS, and I do mean ALWAYS gets my order wrong!!! it had become a routine objective to check my order as soon as I get it and always take it back so they can fix it… terrible

I’ve given this place too many chances to get it right! They keep F***** up orders!!! How hard is it to put together a few ingredients on a bun???
I always take it to go, and of course when I get to it, its not correct. This is not the 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd time for me either! And I gave them enough chances to correct this issue. I doubt they care!
Maybe change the slogan to «have it our way» !!
I’m done with this place!
Place is clean and up to date. yes, thats what 1 of the stars is for.

First off the road to get to this Burger King is torn up. Too many pot holes and patch jobs gone bad.
Secondly I swear Burger King is not fast food they take forever in the drive thru. I got my Chipotle burrito faster than going through Burger King’s drive thru. This location order box you have to practically yell at the box for the employee to hear you. Then only to be shouted back at from the employee.
Other than that their food is consistent with the «fast food» chain. No wow factor.

I went in trying to get a apple pie but ended up getting over four hamburgers for my helpful friends. We had been working in the garden all day and were famished. The staph was helpful, and we really enjoyed the free King hats that were sitting around the restaurant for the children!
We don’t have children, but we gave the hats to some. As a review of this place, it’s an A+. Best Hamburger King I’ve been to in a long time.

I try not to do fast food very often but I had a coupon so I couldn’t help it. This is the closet one on my route so I stopped got 2 whoppers and 2 fries. Everything was hot service was fast, guest service was expedited and polite. The exterior was filthy though, drive thru stained, and trash over flowing in the trash can and trash in the drive thru. Trash won’t stop me from coming hers again but the construction will.

Why do people diss like this Burger King?! I really like this one. First off it has very good food and good service. Seating is always nice and clean and comfy. Has probably the most awesome Soda fountains I’ve ever seen. Restrooms are decent, this place has some workout equipment for some reason. The best part of this place is that it’s with in walking distance from The Art Institute of Houston. Only gripe I have is the parking, the parking lot it self is fair but the main problem is getting in and out of the lot, because the place is located next to a busy street.

Compared to the burger king down richmond a ways, this one is terrible. i want my money back.

New building its much better than you’d expect.
They have free wifi and even some comfortable chairs to relax in.

Double Whopper Sandwich: ⁴⁄₅ — It’s two ¼ lb. flame-​broiled beef patties w/​tomatoes, lettuce, mayonnaise, pickles, white onions in sesame seed buns.
Salted French Fries: ³⁄₅
Service: ³⁄₅
Ambiance: ²⁄₅

You know, I opted not to buy a drink at Panda Express for $ 1.40. But then after I drove off, I was like… I’m kinda thirsty now, and I know BK should have cheaper drinks for like a buck. Wrong! Small drink was $ 1.59 plus tax! Are you insane? Had the drive thru guy not come on the speaker, my butt would have zoomed off. You would think a small drink would be on their stupid value menu. I seriously don’t drink much soda, I might take 4 sips of it and throw the rest away… so yeah, I can be a cheapo when I know I’m not going to drink or eat it all. Thank goodness for McDonalds or Sonic HH! :)