Elvia’s Cantina

This place is closed!

It’s a hell of a long drive from anywhere in Houston to get to this place, and if you’re looking for a great salsa club then look elsewhere. Run down, dirty, poor service, and not in a «hey we’re in Mexico» kind of way. Just not great by any means.
Do not bring a date here — that’s one hole you can’t dig yourself out of Charlie.

I LOVE ELVIA’S! Yes, the building looks dilapidated, the dance area is small, and there are a lot more guys than girls (ladies – prepare to be on your feet the entire time), but this place is SO MUCH FUN. I discovered this place about 5 years ago on an evening that could have potentially been disasterous, but Elvia’s rescued me. I have been going there ever since. The music is amazing — great band (I think they have even won a few awards), the crowd is really decent, and the food is decent (you don’t really go there to eat though).
If you are not into dancing, then come just to watch. Holy smokes these people can dance. I once went to a bar in Barcelona, Spain – Mojito – and thought nothing would ever rival it in terms of crowd’s dancing ability. I was right, but Elvia’s comes pretty close.
If you want to compare this to Sky Bar on Salsa Night, I would say Elvia’s has a mainly Latin crowd (Sky Bar has a huge mix), and also Elvia’s seems to have an older crowd. To me, that usually translates into less guys trying to cop a feel and more people there just to dance. Basically, Elvia’s is your hole-​in-​the-​wall, but great-​find kinda place that makes you want to keep the location to yourself and not share with anybody.
LOVE IT.

Somehow the dance gene skipped me. Or maybe I was adopted. Regardless of the exact reason, I cannot dance. I have no rhythm. I cannot «shake it». The extent of my dancing capabilities ends at the Boot Scootin’ Boogie – mostly because we had to learn it every year for gym class in elementary school.
I’ve decided that my abhorrence to dancing stems from my childhood and the oh-​so-​necessary «I blame my parents» defense. Let me explain. My parents love to dance. And they’re good. They’re the kind of dancers that makes everyone else stop and form a circle around them so they can watch. My dad is the suave Latino man with all the right moves (even with his oversized belly, I’ve heard the ladies still love him) and my mom is the exotic Asian in an all brown scene. Together, they’re killer.
My entire life, people have expected me to be a good dancer coming from this family. It was horrible. Emotionally scarring even. Sooo, back to Elvia’s.. .
This place is a great place to show off your moves. A lot of talented dancers, always a good crowd, and cheap drinks. However, the dance floor is small (maybe on purpose to get some extra touchy-​touchy going on?) and the building is a bit run down (I’ve heard that the roof leaks during rainstorms). The guy to girl ratio is way off and with the male machismo around, it can be a bit intimidating if you’re a girl – you won’t sit a dance out. Evidently they also do dance lessons, though I haven’t checked them out – there’s no hope for me.