Spa Django

What makes a $ 700 spa experience bad? When you arrive at nine and leave at five and they fail to provide you lunch, even though it’s included in your very expensive the spa package. Worst customer service experience ever.

First, the good: when you have a service at the spa, you can hang out just as long as you like and enjoy the sauna, steam, gender specific hot tub (aka spa) that’s big enough to swim laps in„ the private meditation type pool or co-​ed spa or even wander over to the main pool and float on the super fantastic the lazy river in a tube.
Now, for the bad: the two young ladies that checked me in at 8am seemed incredibly bitter that I was there, I’m guessing because it meant they would have to work. Whether they were detoxing from a night on the town or if they were just oblivious to the fact that they were in the service industry is beyond me, but the first impression of this spa was horrific.
Moving on… when relaxing at a spa, I do not want to see or hear small children. I saw two in the span of an hour, despite signs that indicate no one under fifteen is to be in certain areas. Mothers should be admonished for thinking the rules don’t apply to them, the staff should be admonished for not enforcing the rules and management needs a big olé spanking for not knowing what’s going on in their shop.
Moving on. My sister had made my reservation for me and signed me up for the Runners Revenge. A massage that promised stretching, etc etc. What this equated to was (in order): a cold massage room, a table that had me in fear of it collapsing, 10 minutes of massage with muscle melt and being wrapped in a mylar sheet. At this point the gal with the hands tries to perform a scalp massage which — because I’d just been in the tub — instead, felt like 5 minutes of hair pulling. When it’s time for me to be unwrapped it’s also time to wash the muscle melt off so I can have the rest of my massage. She cranks on the shower in the room and I stand waiting for — I KID YOU NOT — 4 minutes while waiting for the water to be a suitable temperature. Did I mention the room was also freezing? Oh, but did I mention that the room had a full wall of windows with gauze curtains?
This particular massage is performed in the couples massage room which has a great view of a little pond and part of the golf course, since it’s also the room with a shower. Voyerism is not my cup-​o-​tea.
So I lay back down, get another 10 minutes of massage and she’s done. No. Really. Lamestmassageever.
I’d like to add that two of the friends who were also at the spa that day had issues with their reservations going missing completely. That said, I guess it could have been worse… or would that have been better?