Extended Stay America – Memphis – Apple Tree

day 27 number 5 still alive!
(with this review i am finally ufc! la Unilocal’s most useful, funny, and cool!!!)
so i did another long 9 hour drive and made it to memphis. home of elvis, of that song walking in memphis, quentin rampage jackson, hustle and flow, crumping, grills, bouncing cars, 36 mafia and cash money millionaires and the beginning of the dirty south!
dude as soon as i got here i got lost. and guess where i was? on crump blvd. wtf? i don’t want to be in crump blvd. in the middle of the night. where there is crump blvd, there is crumping. where there is crumping there is tomfoolery. where there is tomfoolery there is shenanigans. and where there is shenanigans there are rapscalions. hell no i need to get out of here.
i knew i was in the hood but the hoods in the south are different from the hoods in la just cuz i am used to the hoods in la, whereas here i have no idea if i am leaving it or getting deeper cuz i don’t know the area. how the hell did i get here?
anyways so i got back on the highway and made it to my hotel. and this place didn’t look any safer cuz its the first time my hotel had a fulltime guard and locked doors. and there was a dude in the parking lot just watching people come and go. that did not make me feel safe.
my room wasn’t as nice as the other ones i had from extended stay. and extended stay does charge for internet. but i was able to get the front desk girl in oklahoma to give me free internet. no such dice here with the front desk girl. shes tough!
but after i whined a lil more, she finally gave in and bam i got internet to update you all! i love it when they say, oh mr y! haha almost as much as sam ssi. that gave them an extra star. i hope to get nice girls like that in all my hotels so i can get free internet and free other stuff like toothpaste and shampoo.
i normally post a pic of my hotel room with whatever i am doing at the time but in taking the pic i realized i was shirtless, unshaven, messy hair, and my tattoos revealed. i looked like some sort of asian thug. no good to post that on the web. my mom might see! or my future political constituents. i passed graceland on the way here, too bad it was closed…
i am just tired and i think semi-​delusional from driving. you know its hard out here for a pimp…
but in driving i find some form of freedom. i feel like i’ve only been gone for a few days and i can’t imagine going back or ever just living in one place more than a few days. though i have to soon.
hope my car is ok out there. its so cold out here but at the same time so dry. i am super thirsty. i need some friend chicken.