Dive Bar Dash 3.0 – UYE

This annual crawl into the seedy underbelly of South Beach’s bar scene has become something of an institution. Version 3.0 had the added twist of falling on St. Patrick’s Day.
With its cheap Yuenglings and sunset view, the VFW is the best starting point. It was somewhat more crowded than last year, and some crazy drunk woman from Wales approached me. She asked me if I knew where Wales is, and I replied «southern England, right?» This seemed to offend her, and she started babbling. I really just wanted her to go away. No one cool ever talks to me in bars; it’s always the freaks and crazies — if there’s a lunatic in a bar running off at the mouth, that person *will* talk to me, guaranteed. And, I double-​checked my geography later. Technically the «western side of southern central Great Britain,» I was still correct, so screw you, lady! Geez.
Deweys was the next stop, and it was only crowded in the comfortable sense, which was surprising given that 1) it was March 17^th and 2) they were offering complimentary corned beef and cabbage. The improved restroom (I seem to have become quite the critic of restrooms lately), decent crowd and Murphys cans made this my favorite stop on the crawl.
Next up was Lush, which, inexplicably, was jammed to the gills. It was hot and stuffy inside, made worse by the fact that I walked the 0.6 mile (per Unilocal app) from Deweys. Hey, it’s a pub crawl, right? Might as well get some exercise in too! I like Lush, but to me it wasn’t doable — went outside, walked around, rejoined the party at the Deuce.
Usually, it’s the Deuce that is too cramped and smoky, but this time, it was OK. I’ve never been able to stay in there for more than 10 minutes, but there was some comfortable space from which to enjoy a Guinness. Skipped out on the last stop, Lost Weekend, because it was past midnight and I was out of gas — the concept of which is anathema to many of you, but no worries, I still love you.
Thanks Eve for organizing — you’re the pub crawl queen!

This is the first Pub Crawl UYE I complete! I can claim the distinct honor that I one-​upped and out-PBR’d the Beer Snob!
Although I wrote detailed reviews for some of the stops, I’ll gladly recap the fun times. This has been a cool Unilocal Miami tradition and want to give Eve a huge shoutout for putting it together!
1. VFW — a cool drinking bunker inside a luxury condo with a sunset view that some folks pay a million for. Other than the lady questioning our Irishness (that’d be like saying you can’t enjoy Cinco de Mayo if you’re not Mexican!) it was a fun spot. I’m digging the military memorabilia and the America Hell Yeah vibe. If the Mayans are right, I want to be here Dec. 21
2. Dewey’s — I’m a bathroom critic. I’m a design professional. There! :)
3. Deuce — Amaretto on the rocks — ’nuff said!
4. Lush — from your hottie in a low cut shirt logo to your PBR and Green Beer… I like!
5. Lost Weekend — Should we just paint a Unilocal logo on this place? I also got to see an epic pool championship.