Palmer’s Bar

as long as i live i will always call this place home. much love to Lisa, as she is now running what Kieth, once mastered. RIP, buddy. stiffest drinks and very best of folks. If you know what a good time is, then come on! And those who aren’t sure can stay the fuck out.

I’ve long been annoyed by people calling nearly every bar that doesn’t serve craft cocktails as a «dive bar.» They’re not dive bars. They’re just bars.
Palmer’s. Palmer’s is a dive bar. In the best possible way.
Cash only.
Cheap and strong drinks.
The most eclectic group of customers you will ever see, guaranteed.
Bizarre but good mix of music.
Random, small fluffy dog running around.
You might meet your new best friend here.
You might also get stabbed*.
Totally worth it.
*kidding. Kind of.

Palmers Bar was a massive disappointment. I arrived with my fiancée with the intention of seeing some friends who were making their debut performance with their band and my night began with me being screamed at by the doorman to pay the cover charge.
Paying the money was no problem, but I did not appreciate being cussed and yelled at, or being ordered to flatten my bills out for his convenience. Any customer would not know who the doorman actually was. He was just sitting in a shady corner on a bar stool in street clothes. He had no hint of professionalism at all.
Also keep in mind that this establishment does not accept credit cards. This can be somewhat of an inconvenience for customers who do not carry cash while walking around in a bad neighborhood, which this bar is definitely in.
The overall atmosphere of this bar is dingy and stale. It is mostly a beer bar that attracts lower income riff raff than anything else. If you are in your early 20’s or college student, this bar is for you but do not expect much else in the area of a respectable atmosphere.

I don’t come here because I expect something out-​standing, or some perfect service or drink; I come here because it’s the kind of place where they get to know you. The drinks are nice and strong too ;-)

This dive bar is pretty small and narrow in shape, which makes for a lot of bumping and shoving. Live performances take place on the itsy-​bitsy stage, and the sound quality is pretty lousy. The area around the bar is a bit iffy, and the crowd inside is pretty crunchy. I don’t think I would make my way back here.

Oh, Palmer’s.
I had lived on Cedar Ave for ten months before I mustered the courage to visit Palmer’s. This bar has a reputation for being a rough-​around-​the-​edges (and slightly sketchy) dive bar, but I think that’s what makes it so awesome.
1. The bartenders are incredible. They’re lively and fun and they always remember my «usual» drink.
2. The patio is absurd (in a good way). A typical Palmer’s patio crowd usually includes a handful of hippies from several generations, someone from a foreign country telling somewhat unbelievable stories around the fire, surprisingly intelligent grunge-​punk kids, and maybe a college girl wearing a skimpy dress and looking uncomfortable because she’d rather be out clubbin’. Top-​notch people watching.
3. The liquor is cheap. If you order a shot, expect it to be a double. On Monday nights, pitchers of Hamm’s are $ 8.
Tips: Palmer’s only accepts cash, and the ATM is often out of service on busy nights. There’s always a $ 5 cover on Fridays and Saturdays, and usually on Thursdays, too. The bands are usually worthwhile, but I’d check the schedule on the Palmer’s website ahead of time.

Palmer’s is a dive bar. With that said, if you’re looking for cheap drinks & to meet some crazy characters, Palmer’s is the place for you. The drinks are cheap & you’ll usually end up with 50−75% alcohol pours, so it’s a good place to start (or end) your night. They don’t take cards here, so bring cash unless you want to get snapped with ATM fees. They have live bands here sometimes and the bouncer will try to charge you a cover, but it’s usually negotiable enough to warrant coming in still. Lack of food & ability to pay with cards are the only thing that keeps me from giving this place 5 divey stars.

The patio may have a strict «no smoking crack,» rule, but smoking weed appears to be fine. Maybe that’s fine — just not my thing — your mileage may vary.
If you look up «dive bar» in the dictionary, there’s a photo of Palmer’s there.
Here’s what I can say for sure about it:
— There is no «type» of person who frequents this bar. You’ll see hippies, students, businesspeople, gangbangers, bikers, vegans, old folks, young people — it is sort of astonishing how diverse the clientele are. That’s pretty cool.
— The drinks are STRONG. I have a high tolerance for alcohol, and brushed aside my friends’ warnings about the drinks here, but DAYUM. Be prepared.
— The neighborhood is sketchy. Having grown up in NYC, please believe I understand the problematic racialized assumptions often inherent in assertions about the West Bank’s «sketchiness.» But this neighborhood is Objectively Sketchy. Trust me. Prepare for street harassment if you’re a chick wearing a skirt. And maybe have someone walk you to your car.

Well, the one thing I can say for sure is that I left with good stories! Strong drinks, fire pit in the back, live music, fantastic and completely weird mix of clientele. Great place to wrap up, or kick off, a night out.

I went here one night after the Metrodome. I enjoyed the game, was happy the Twins lost, etc. But the most memorable thing about the night (and really, the entire weekend) was Palmer’s.
There was a man who introduced himself as being Liberian. For some reason he bought us two Grain Belts. He disappeared shortly thereafter and was later seen in deep commune with a homeless man who looked like Dan Hedaya and talked like Tom Waits. Also involved in their conversation were an Asian guy who looked like a grad student and a woman with two missing front teeth who was smoking Kool 100s.
We were young and stupid then and determined to cram the night full of other bars. Palmer’s turned out to be the best, by far. Even though we later got to listen to a very drunk man mournfully sing Johnny Cash ballads at U Otter Stop Inn.
There used to be bars like this in Brooklyn, where I grew up. Not any more.

Great/​interesting mix of people in here. Friendly bartenders. Cheap drinks. A patio out back and okay music playing. This was a great place to cap off the night. I also greatly appreciated being served my Crispin without ice in a pint glass, with a glass of ice on the side. That way it wasn’t a total rip off! Beware, cash only.
I’d definitely come again.

Went here on a quiet afternoon, so there were only a handful of of patrons inside. The interior certainly shows its age, but felt somewhat cold where I was expecting character. The bartender was a nice older lady who could probably be just as un-​nice and kick your ass to the curb. It seems much more bar than live music venue, but hey it’s definitely there and not just as an after thought. I do my share of heading out solo and drinking alone, but meh, I was expecting more. Just had a strange vibe I wasn’t digging.
As far as the «sketchy» factor of the neighborhood, if West Bank were plopped overnight into any other Great Lakes city it would be considered «good», since sketchy neighborhoods elsewhere are actually sketchy and not filled with decent bars and restaurants. Case in point, a bar in a sketchy Columbus neighborhood had a drunk patron out front threatening to break my camera while I was photographing the neighborhood and just before I passed by there a woman of the night was being seriously chewed out by her pimp and a swat team was trading gunshots with drug dealers at a house a few blocks up: all within one hour in the middle of the day. Just sayin’.

Back when I was a drinker, Palmer’s was a sure bet to get me drunk. Stiff drinks for cheap.
The regulars are an eclectic mix, there’s always someone being entertaining in some ridiculous way.
Plus the bonfire outside is always going, and it’s great to have on cold fall nights.

There is a reason the lanky mustachioed man in the bowler hat is leaning against the wall, it’s because he’s too f*%king schnookered from being served drinks at Palmer’s to depend on his own two legs to support his drunk ass.
This is a bar for serious drinkers. Don’t judge, just drink.

Palmer’s is a great place to get shitty. 7 $ pitchers of Hamms on Mondays did me in earlier this week. In addition to cheap beer, the shots poured here are massive.
The bartenders look tough and they don’t really put up with shit, but they’re a bunch of sweethearts when it comes down to it.
My only complaint was one of the regulars wouldn’t leave me alone. She was thrown out later in the evening, but I can only take so much touchy feely from a forty something toothless meth-​head burnout.

Best dive bar in this city. The crowd is a mixed bag of random degenerates, hipsters, hippies, and just about everything else… I’ve never left Palmers without having a story to tell the next day.
The staff is fucking awesome, anyone that says different belongs at Block E.
If you go into this place and don’t order a shot of some kind you’re missing the point. Get fucked up!

I love dive bars. Really, I do! But…
…I don’t care for this dive bar. I have been here a few times now, and each time is as equally as «un-​good» as the last…
It’s crowded. If it is a Friday night + they have live music = this place turns into something it should never be allowed to turn into. It’s like a Dive Bar’s Evil Twin.
First off — the stage is located in a corner. The same corner that shares it’s space with part of the bar, the restrooms, the door to the outdoor patio, and a well displayed stuffed pheasant.
So, if you come to Palmer’s to *hear* live music… you are in luck (the sound system is pretty great). If you come to Palmer’s to *see* live music… be prepared to be knocked around and have beer spilled on you constantly.
Few other tid-​bits…
The bar area gets quite crowded — so if you are timid — you will never get a drink. No ATM. Interesting & eclectic clientele. Sketchy part of town. Grouchy bouncer.

Every time I come home I ALWAYS drink at Palmers. This was definitely my favorite bar when I lived in Minneapolis and one of the reasons i miss MN…
The bartenders are friendly and will pour your drinks VERY strong. Any and every time i am here i get very drunk! Plus they have an outdoor patio that’s great in the summer time.

Palmer’s is one of the most *eclectic* bars in the T.C. The last three times I have been here they’ve had random food sitting out on the table right when you walk in the door. Folks in the bar (and people coming in off the street) have grazed on a buffet of food in take-​out containers (Mexican I believe… with lots of wilted lettuce, if I remember correctly), a box of produce, or some chicken wings. Has Palmer’s become something of a neighborhood bar/​food shelf? If so, that’s awfully nice of them to be supporting their clientele in such tough economic times.
I was surprised to see the clientele switch gears at about 10:00 pm the last time I was here. It went from die hard locals to hipster college students. Interesting– but since Palmer’s welcomes people of all walks no one batted an eye.

Reminds me a lot of Alphabet City, NYC, circa 90’s. Lots of dreads, some rats, some punx/​anarchists, and a few people on the shady side of life (they can get you anything you can’t get at the local pharmacy). White, Black, Asian, Indian, & now Eritrean. For Mpls. this is truly a great racial mix though not really mixed in class. But that’s ok – yuppies sucked in the 80s early 90s and still do.
Gotta let you all know that on Sundays they have a house band kickin out some sweet blues. And like the man said their jukebox is deep. But Sunday’s really turns it into a nice gumbo of people all spicy and stewed.
OK beers on tap, cheap local swill, and great shots. I say it’s a «back» bar — order a shot (large in a tall glass) and get your favorite chaser «back» and you’re on your way. The make a strong mixed drink too. But, don’t piss and moan about the sweet pungent smell around the fire pit. If you don’t like it leave. If you need some, someone will share — or a shady will get you squared away.
I’ve been a reg since I’ve come back for a visit a couple weeks ago and I’ve never seen, or felt, any static. Just good vibes, from oldsters to young kids.
Used to hate (hard-​core clubbing dayz) now I appreciate. Stop in and see what it was like to be in Alphabet City, during it hay day
, changed to embody what remains of the West-​Bank of Mpls. Palmer’s is last drinking establishment on the Bank. The West-​bank has always been multicultural, anti-​establishment, pro-​legalization, and generally time-​warped with all the marginalized of every era. Anti-​smoking and catering to college money killed the others.
Only four stars cause the dance floor is small and seating is limited inside.